iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
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Secretary Lew to Announce Change to $20 Bill this Week; Say Goodbye to Jackson

I’ve learned a lot about the faces on out fiat currency over the past year. For example, Alexander Hamilton was a worthless asshole, deserving to be replaced on the $10 bill, until the super popular, liberally favored, smash hit play, Hamilton, seized audiences en masse–causing the Treasury to forgo their plans to oust the old founder of the American banking system.

President Andrew Jackson wasn’t liked when he was alive, even less so when dead. Apparently, he was a giant dick, sashaying throughout the country, committing genocide against the Native American population. Previous generations granted President Jackson a portrait on the coveted $20 bill–because they were racist, ignorant, knuckle-draggers, and not the sophisticated Chardonnay drinkers like us.

It is widely believed that Secretary Lew will announce plans to punt Jackson and keep Hamilton this week (thank heavens for Broadway plays). Replacing Jackson will be a woman who will remind us how racist and awful we all are, guilting us into donating said $20 bills to homeless men in the streets, in order to relieve us of our white privilege.

Once decided, the sloths in the government will take 15 years to implement the changes.

Why?

Because they’re astoundingly inefficient people.

The new bills will be unveiled for circulation around the year 2030.

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19 comments

  1. roundwego

    for a second I thought he was going to get rid of the $20 bill.

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  2. ottnott

    I was hoping to see William T. Sherman as the replacement.

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    • tradercaddy

      I am hoping for Sherman, the boy with the dog Mister Peabody on The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.
      But alas, he is not an LBGT Muslim African-American illegal refugee, so he stands no chance.

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  3. infinitezuul

    Put Hillary Clinton on the $20 bill.

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  4. ottnott

    “Once decided, the sloths in the government will take 15 years to implement the changes.
    Why?
    Because they’re astoundingly inefficient people.”

    They must not be aware that they will lose market share to more nimble suppliers of de-Jacksoned US $20 bills.

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  5. kasparov

    Bushwick Bill $20sixteen

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  6. juice

    Wasn’t Andrew Jackson the Cement-headed Senator’s fave?

    That said — was just responsible for the first and the largest ethnic cleansing ever in the history of the USofA. He criminally drove 100,000 Indians from their homeland, where, already as a soldier, he took merciless and murderous action against the natives of this country, murdering many or expelling them. On May 28th, 1830, he signed the so-called “Indian Removal Act”, being the death sentence for countless other Indians, because this law allowed the relocation of Indian tribes in order to create, for white farmers and others, areas for their settlement. Thus, about a quarter of all deported Indians came to be killed, in part because they were murdered by the whites, or, on the other hand, because they did not survive the forced marches to the distant places of deportation, i.e., reservations – and perished miserably.

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  7. soupbone

    Trivia; Swiss franc bills become obsolete in at least two stages that I have seen. First they can’t be used for commerce so you have to head to a bank to exchange them. After a certain age your only recourse is to go the SNB in Zurich and stand before a teller who is protected by 2″ thick glass. In my case I was told my bills were expired, simple as that. I threw them in a waste can down be the water.

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    • btn

      “expired”?

      Now I see how the Swiss currency remains strong. Those that actually use/hold the physical form (“peasants”) have the value evaporate to protect the value of those holding electronic forms (“drug dealers”)

      Thanks for the trvia!

      PS Now that the interest rates are negative, I guess the Swiss are trying to “expire” everybody’s bills. So that means that all forms of Swiss currency are now hot potatoes.

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    • ottnott

      You get advance notice of when the notes will be recalled or withdrawn. After they cease to be legal tender, you can still exchange them at the Swiss National Bank for 20 more years. You can even send them by mail: http://www.snb.ch/en/mmr/reference/instr_recalled_notes/source

      If you wait more than the notice period plus 20 years, yeah, you hold litter.

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  8. vandamme

    The Ark spring a leak?

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  9. chuck bennett

    Remember , Jackson never wanted a central bank. He was against it with all his soul. Makes sense to move him out, so people won’t remember what the FED reserve actually is. A money monopoly. Those who control it, control all.

    Regards

    Chuck bennett

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    • ottnott

      I remember finding a $20 bill in a coat pocket, looking at Jackson’s portrait, and thinking “Yes! Another blow against the tyrannical Fed!” Then I gave it to my son to buy lunches at school. Liberty was thwarted once again.

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      • frog

        Wow, Ottnott, you and Chuck are the only 2 people I’ve ever heard of who look at a $20 and think of Jackson’s position on central banking. Of course, most people have no idea what the Fed is, in any case.

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