Reformed Broker: Give Away $100 bills for $90, Show an Ad; Best Business Ever

This is the best blog post of the year, easily.

I love the business model. I’ll bring you public.

Here’s the perfect business idea for this environment: Open a Hundred Dollar Bill Store™. You sell hundred dollar bills for ninety dollars each. You’ll lose ten dollars per transaction but you’ll do a trillion in revenues in year one. Maybe you show an ad to everyone who walks into the store and you break even. User growth with be on the order of 1000% per month. A billion users. You’ll be the biggest IPO of all time when Goldman’s underwriters get wind of that growth rate. Go public and let someone else worry about a competitor selling hundred dollar bills for eighty-five.

In a very cynical birthday post, Josh calls for the annihilation of the Snapchat class. He wants to take away your fucking iPhones and smash them into the tiniest of pieces. He wants to make Netflix and Spotify vanish from Earth and erase all records of them from ever existing (extra Xerxes). So many of you hogs have gotten fat from malinvestment, walking about the earth in mink coats and diamond necklaces, making millions off the dumbest shit ever. The time has come for you to feel the burn of scorched earth, as the recessionary whirlwinds from the east scald your fucking faces off–reducing you into skeleton dust.

I second Josh’s call for the apocalypse. Happy birthday, player.