BURN INSIDE OF HELL

Over 100 NASDAQS were lost today. You might still be fighting the good fight, trying to outflank the bears with sophisticated tactics. It’s too late, for they are armed with Tsar Bombas and will soon reduce you into a science lab skeleton for all of the children to laugh at.

Hillary Rodham Clinton took a look at the biotech sector and saw an opportunity to get short. She ran to her private email box and contacted all of her Washington friends to sell short biotech, ahead of her comments. Many of these fine gents bought LAPD and are quite erect right now, excited from the profits.
Granted, once President, Hillary wouldn’t dare mess with the healthcare lobby. She’s bought and sold by them 100x over. Perhaps she wasn’t getting enough donations from them and used yesterday’s comments to motivate them.

Needless to say, with the drop dead trading action of -3.5% in the sector today, I am sure she has their undivided attention.

Biotech is one of the pillars of this market. With it careening lower, managers are forced to seek out funds elsewhere to raise cash. If they aren’t selling BIIB outright, they will sell something else. Bottom line: when leadership sectors get lit up, it tends to have a domino effect on the overall market. That’s what today is all about.

We are severely oversold. Nearly every sector is being destroyed, a familiar tune as of late. There isn’t any respite, not even utilities. This is hell, gentlemen.

I hope you enjoy your stay.

Yesterday’s tepid rally was nothing more, or less, than a trap. European markets are being drilled into the floorboards, then anvils are being tossed onto them. Before the day is over, they’ll be down 4%.

I haven’t even bothered to turn on the television or read as to why futures are off by 250. I merely accept this circumstance as a part of life, something to wade through before my ultimate pineapple coffin destination.

As a young lad growing up in the sewers of Brooklyn, I always imagined a life like this. I’d go to work everyday, tortured by the stock market, then I’d die from a massive laser beam to the face, one day, amidst plenty of pomp and glory. Folk songs will be written about me, the man from the internets who used to trade stocks, until his fucking face was melted off by a laser beam to the chin.

I’m accepting of the bear market and only regret not acting sooner. But going forward, and especially after the dust settles, I know that old man stocks that pay large dividends will be where my fellow “industry professionals” will find shelter, away from the winter winds of annihilation.

I’m the oldest man you’ve ever seen. Tonight I preside over you in a wooden wheeled chair, with a burlap blanket over my legs, sitting fireside. I’m mad at the young whipper-snappers and hate them cavorting about my lawn.

Tomorrow morning I intend to head down to Wall, with my cane, and bang it on the door of the NYSE to ask for my shares. I will buy stock in some of my favorite old man stocks and demand that my certificates are handed to me, in person. In case any of you are thinking about robbing me, I will be escorted by a dozen or so Pinkertons who have orders to “shoot to kill”, should anyone approach me within 5 feet.

Damn all of your biotech stocks to hell. I hope your so called tech stocks barrel towards bankruptcy, leaving all of its employees and C-level executives in a pile of ruin, dressed in losses, their cupboards empty from an expeditious bankruptcy.

My conservative style of investing shall become the envy of all, soon enough. Stocks like K, GIS, CL, CLX and PG will offer haven during a period of “extreme hell” to the rabble-rousers who prance around Wall eating heads of cabbage and spicy goat’s brains.

Going with my new theme of necessities for the survival of the human species, I started a mid-sized position in UNFI. The stock is inexpensive based off historical valuation metrics, coming off a solid quarter.

God willing, the country will devolve into anarchy and their fine trucks will be used to provide FEMA employees with food-stuffs, to help nourish them while capturing and detaining ordinary (extra Moriarty) U.S. citizens.

I’ve racked my brain as far as it could go. I’ve twisted in the wind for weeks, trying to discern the direction of this tape. I’ve concluded my studies.

Invest like we are entering a global recession–because we are!

Russia, Brazil (fuck you, I will not spell it Brasil), China, Australia, Canada and many more are enjoying “bullet to the head” economic deceleration. Let’s assume the eastern winds are truly howling and the PE ratio of this market is about to be taken down by 20%. Where will investors flee to?

There is precedent to all of this and the writing is already on the wall.

Consumer staples are near their 52 week highs: food, cleaning products, alcohol and beverages.

Instead of firing off a bunch of meaningless crap, I will tell you of my first purchase: CLX.

I’ve purchased Clorox, right here, in moderate size, expecting new highs in the coming weeks and months ahead. Additionally, I bought a little more SHAK, nibbled on it, due to boredom.

Seriously, tho, the market is exhibiting signs of extreme risk aversion. It makes sense to load up on some high dividend paying consumer goods names now. Worst case scenario, you’re wrong and lose a few percent on the trade. The alternative is to keep buying high growth and get placed on the Catherine Wheel for another -25% drubbing.

A few hours ago, Hillary tweeted this:

As much as I’d like to deride her for being a communist, I cannot. The healthcare system is such a farce: it’s painful for me to even think about all of the money I’ve paid for insurance, year in and year out. Truth be told, America has the best innovation in medicine because our companies are flush with cash that is given to them from the morons who occupy hospital beds.

Drugs are absurdly overpriced and something needs to be done in order to reduce healthcare costs.

That being said, Clinton’s comments have resulted in a rout in the biotech sector, to the tune of 5%. For me, the sector is too sensitive to risk to delve into right now. I need lower beta, a few infield hits before I am ready to swing for the fences again.

I am having a difficult time finding stocks to buy. I am flush with cash, actively scouring the market for opportunity. But the pickens are slim, thanks to a very narrow and unpredictable group of stocks trending in a positive manner.

I will likely put some money to work soon, if only to entertain myself from the moribund nature of wating for something exciting to happen.

The market opened up 100, after getting its fucking brains beat in on Friday. Do you trust the gains to hold? Are you sure the market will fade?

You can try to play the chop, sashay in and out from 3x ETFs witth magical precision. Or, you can pick a side, commit to it, and wait for results patiently. Ultimately, all markets go higher, over a long enough time frame. The motto of Zerohedge is a mornic one, entirely false and without merit. Even the tulip retains some value after all this time.

Last week I doubled down in TWTR. My largest position is AMCX, followed by BIDU and SHAK. Personally, I have been buying 2016 calls on SHAK, somethig I haven’t done since 2012.

The price action in the market has a lot of people thinking something ominous awaits on the horizon. While this may be true, it’s useless to try to time the market on a day to day basis.

My best adivce is for you to get your affairs in order. Have your will completed and prepare for your demise, for the apocalypse is always coming, especially designed for the expectancy of your life. You should also diversify your holdings, manage risk, and raise a little cash.

FYI: I completed writing an algorithm for a portfolio risk analyzer. After we are done with Exodus upgrades, I will commence with a project to build it and offer it free to the people.

Sincerly yours,

Charitable and Most Gracious Fly

UPDATE: Even MOAR generosity. For a limited time, upon buying a ticket to the iBC Conference, you will receive 1 free month to any iBankCoin premium service. Or, if you purchase an annual membership to Exodus, 12631 or After Hours with Option Addict, you will receive a free ticket to the 2nd and motherfucking LAST iBC conference in this century.

It’s about to get real hot around here. Before I forget to pitch you: the 2nd and LAST iBC conference is coming soon, October 24th, 2015.

What to expect?

All sort of things, especially during the after hours VIP party, located at the Yale Club, NYC. Don’t worry, you do not need to be a member of the club to join us. The Option Addict, Jeff Macke and Josh Brown will host the event. Ragin Cajun, VINCENT ILLUMINATI and RAUL will also be in attendance. After festivities, we will most likely commit a heinous masonic ritual, whereby we sacrifice a small elephant or weak human.

OA has a post up now, regarding the event.

Due to extraordinary market conditions, those who sign up now until the end of the month will receive a free month of any iBC service: Exodus, 12631 or After Hours with Option Addict.

Also, I might give attendees some sort of preview of the book that I am writing, regarding the market crash of 2008 and how I sort of nailed it to pieces, all documented here on the bloggery.

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Futures are lower during tonight’s session. “The Fly” has been somewhat busy these days, transporting himself from one facility to the next. Hopefully things can get back to normal for me and I can sit back and enjoy the second coming, or continuation for some of  you deranged bearshitters, of the great depression.

This drop is all about China and its neighbors. The fear is a further devaluation of the yuan, which will decidedly crush the faces of people in Indonesia and other savage states. When the savage loses control of their markets, western, gentlemen, markets tend to catch a cold. Understand, this is all fleeting and things will get back to normal, once these morons are finished smashing pies into each other’s faces.

Before the nerds at zerohedge hijacked the persona of Tyler Durden, from the movie fight club, he used to be one of my favorite characters.

The rebellious nature of this movie appeals to me, even if it’s anti capitalistic and promotional of my least favorite form of societal upheavel: anarchy.

I am able to set aside my philosophical differences because these men in this film fucking punch each other and themselves in the face for fun.

Plus, Brad Pitt, another incredibly underrated actor who makes hit after hit, is at his best here, along with Ed Norton.

There is nothing else to say.

Watch this movie, while drinking a stein of beer, taking bites out of your smoked turkey leg.

Boss.

Before you throw yourselves into lit fireplaces, I want you to consider one thing: the entire country might, very well, go bankrupt one day. Aside from the mountains of national debt, $19 trillion and counting, our burgeoning oil and gas sector has about $250 billion, most of which is now low quality paper, thanks to the collapse in crude.

Just like when home prices collapsed, causing the underlying debt of those who financed that sort of shit to vanish, one could make a similar argument that the shale oil boom laid the seeds for the complete and utter annihilation of these United Steaks of America.

Let me explain.

The credit crisis of 2008, actually started in 2007. Things got dicey and were quickly swept under the rug. As home prices continued to decline, the credit quality of that paper got downgraded, causing banks to take action, raise capital, in order to offset the write downs they were taking on illiquid, seldom traded, debt instruments. I suspect a similar scenario, albeit smaller, might be taking place now.

As that price of crude dives lower, the knife inside of CHK turns rapidly. Their guts are being mangled, strewn out across the ground. It’s only a matter of time before it bleeds out. If CHK were to go bankrupt, who is affected by it? I am not merely picking on CHK. This is a question that needs answers. Who owns all of that oil and gas debt?

How much does CFR, a Texas bank, own?

Within time, all of these questions will be answered. Since the drop in crude is somewhat fresh, I’m guessing the financial ramifications won’t be realized until Q1 of 2016.