I’m the oldest man you’ve ever seen. Tonight I preside over you in a wooden wheeled chair, with a burlap blanket over my legs, sitting fireside. I’m mad at the young whipper-snappers and hate them cavorting about my lawn.
Tomorrow morning I intend to head down to Wall, with my cane, and bang it on the door of the NYSE to ask for my shares. I will buy stock in some of my favorite old man stocks and demand that my certificates are handed to me, in person. In case any of you are thinking about robbing me, I will be escorted by a dozen or so Pinkertons who have orders to “shoot to kill”, should anyone approach me within 5 feet.
Damn all of your biotech stocks to hell. I hope your so called tech stocks barrel towards bankruptcy, leaving all of its employees and C-level executives in a pile of ruin, dressed in losses, their cupboards empty from an expeditious bankruptcy.
My conservative style of investing shall become the envy of all, soon enough. Stocks like K, GIS, CL, CLX and PG will offer haven during a period of “extreme hell” to the rabble-rousers who prance around Wall eating heads of cabbage and spicy goat’s brains.
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“Progress! Flabo-dee-flee!”
I always ask myself why do people insist on holding any stock in a downturn? I always go to cash and It has served me well
(Hits sloop with curved part of cane)
Why not the sharp part?
Agreed! I don’t get that either.
Wowbagger!
🙂
The infinitely prolonged?
Once upon a time, there was a company that made $REDACTED on $REDACTED in revenues. Now it makes $LESSTHANREDACTED on $MORETHANREDACTED revenues, and the funny thing is that this is somehow regarded as progress.
Scared money yada yada yada
Oh damn. That reminds me of my grandpa who had never sold the original shares of Bell System stock he had. He had retired in 1980 and had all the certificates from after divestiture. All those new companies. It was a mess that my father had to figure out in the early 2000’s while preparing the estate. Those older folks sure did things differently. Hiding money in the floorboards and all. They didn’t trust anyone.
money in the walls: millions
Awesome reference, I like talking to those two old fucks on The Muppets
You feel old…..??
Elderly Japanese Population Hits New Record – Demographic Death-Rattle Continues
Submitted by Tyler Durden
Japan is like 2-minutes-to-midnight old
Tomorrow will be the greatest day ever. When things go wrong it’s always best to look at the future. I’ve never been to a funeral where the Hurst was followed by a u-hall.
Hurst manufactures gear shifters.. Hearse carries dead people. Just curious, what college did you attend?