Best -75 NASDAQ Day Ever

Who knows what’s going on here? I hope to dear heavens you people aren’t believing anything what the people are saying on the teevee? Those people are designed to lose you money. They are genetically dispositioned to crush the Joe Blow investor, bedraggled microbes, beer swilling, bodega loitering, CATAMITES!

Most of my stocks were up today. But I’m most enthused about my VRX position, mostly because I have a new nemesis on Twitter who somehow believes that I am an Ackman shill. I war born to rain fire onto the heads of Pershing Square. Read my archives, mate; I’m hardly a fan.

Moving on, I’m interested to see how the year winds up. Will we  descend into anarchy amidst half goat, half human species attacking the NYSE in a physically demeaning manner? Or, will Bill Ackman and his friends ramp shit up in a light volume charade, clown raping trapped short sellers in the process–completely bankrupting them for the New Year’s?

Only time will tell. In the meantime, I boldly ask that you spread our brand of financial literacy across your landscapes. Raise our flags over your homes and attack our enemies with vigor. They are everywhere, literally.

Don’t you love end of year Federal Reserve rates hikes into a recession? This story is making the rounds today. iBC’s own, “The Devil” , called me on this today, praising the track record of Marko Kolanovic, suggesting we could be fucking doomed if the Fed hikes rates the wrong way.

A report from JPMorgan’s global quantitative and derivatives team, led by Marko Kolanovic, emphasizes the necessity of not roiling the markets. Extenuating circumstances in the options market could provoke a wave of selling pressure in equities precisely when the Fed seeks to ease markets into a new rate regime, Kolanovic warned.

“This important event falls at a peculiar time–less than 48 hours before the largest option expiry in many years,” wrote Kolanovic, noting that $1.1 trillion worth of Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index options–of which $670 billion are puts–will expire on Dec. 18. Roughly one-third of the puts poised to expire are at or near the money, with strike prices from 1,900 to 2,050.

“Clients are net long these puts and will likely hold onto them through the event and until expiry,” the strategist wrote. “At the time of the Fed announcement, these put options will essentially look like a massive stop loss order under the market.

The Fed shouldn’t be hiking rates in the first place. But this adds a brand new dimesion to the level of fuckery that is likely to take place next week. I’d love to see a zero bid market and the lads over at Zerohedge celebrating over the coffins of the American investor. But that never seems to happen.

Neverthless, December is usually a quiet month. The only caveat to that thinking is the fucking Fed is going to hike into a recession.

I spoke too soon. This fucker isn’t done going lower. However, now that I’ve said that, we’re liable to rally.

Market has reversed nearly 200 points in Dow wins. We’re now descending into the 5th ring of hell, fending off centaurs and blood sucking bats.

This has the feel of end of year tax loss selling, fuckery at its finest.

I gave you a heads up last night. Consider it a pagan X-mas present come early. Free trials are over, fucker. No more peeking under the X-Mas tree. Should I find you doing it again, I’ll give your head a 2 for 1 split.

Commodity related stocks are roaring today. Just yesterday I was combing over the spreadsheets of embattled oil names, hoping they’d go bust. Well, here we are today praising their virtue. Following a larger than expected drawdown in crude, reported by EIA, oil is off to the races.

Both FCX and KMI cut the divvy, a good thing. I called for this on Tuesday.

The world isn’t how you want it. We are facing an unprecedented decline in commodity demand, as China decelerates. The Jim Rogers commodity run has been over for years and will not be back any time soon. Nevertheless, even a dead body twitches at the morgue.

Even with this rally, I am unimpressed. Most of it is due to DOW-DD tie up, so don’t get too enthused.

It’s been a belittling year. Don’t let the internet make you feel like a fucking moron, even though, odds are, you might be just that. Surfing the web, you will find sociopaths taking pictures of themselves inside of luxury cars, outside luxury hotels, all thanks to stock market wins. The truth is, they’re nothing more than traveling salesmen, like a toaster salesmen circa 1953.

This is a hard tape, but we’ll get through it.

I remember the good old days of 2007, when oil was going to $500, copper and gold to Pluto, and cotton would get so expensive–people would resort of traveling around naked or in burlap bags.

Over the past year, the sector has been decimated–Great Depression style. These are the sort of moves one would expect during a depression.

Coal -53%
Natty -45%
Oil -42%

Yet my electricity bill is still $600 per mo. How the fuck does that work?

Coffee, Copper and Palladium all down more than 30% for the year.

Over the past two years, oil, natty and coal are down upwards of 60%.

Stocks have faired much worse, with 90% losses in BTU, 85% losses in ZINC. FCX, CLF, X, UPL and CHK have declined upwards of 70% in 2015.

Some argue that the drop in commodities is a good thing, as it saves the consumer money, to be spent elsewhere. But that’s horseshit, since retail numbers are abysmal and haven’t moved all year. So where is the extra savings going?

Is everything just going to Apple and Amazon?

Last year was a horrid year for commodities. Had you bought that dip, thinking 2015 would recover, you got your face eaten off for you, Miami Zombie style.

Stocks are mixed, early going. However, my stocks ae doing well, with gains in SHAK, PAH, FCX and VRX. Also, I am quite pleased that I sold COST last week.

Of course they slashed their dividend. You didn’t think they’d keep paying it, all the while their core business sunk into the ground, did you? It’s absurd the way this stock has “performed”, down 30% in the past month.

Boy, I can’t wait until we get those fucking rate hikes.

Oil & Gas Review

As previously reported, co is deferring investments in several long-term projects in response to oil and gas market conditions. Following an ongoing review, capital expenditures for 2016 and 2017 have been reduced further from $2.0 billion per year in 2016 and 2017 to $1.8 billion in 2016 and $1.2 billion in 2017, including idle rig costs. Initiatives are expected to add low cost oil production, enabling cash production costs to decline from $19 per barrel of oil equivalents (BOE) in 2015 to less than $16 per BOE in 2016 and 2017. Under the revised plans, FM O&G’s cash flows would substantially fund its capital expenditures at $45 per barrel of Brent crude oil in 2017.

As previously reported, the FCX Board is engaged in a strategic review of its oil and gas business to evaluate alternative courses of action
Mining Review

FCX previously announced a 25 percent reduction in its capital spending for its mining business for 2016. FCX is undertaking further actions involving plans for a full shut-down of its Sierrita mine in Arizona and adjustments to its operating plans from its primary molybdenum mines, which will increase its curtailments to approximately 350 million pounds of copper and 34 million pounds of molybdenum per annum.

FCX is also evaluating other financing alternatives, the potential sale of minority interests in certain mining assets and other actions to provide additional proceeds for debt reduction.

Dividend on Common Stock

FCX also announced that its Board has suspended its annual common stock dividend of $0.20 per share. This action will provide cash savings of approximately $240 million per annum and further enhance FCX’s liquidity during this period of weak market conditions. FCX’s Board will review its financial policy on an ongoing basis and authorize cash returns to shareholders as market conditions improve.

Assuming prices of $2.00 per pound for copper and $45 per barrel Brent crude oil for 2016, FCX estimates consolidated operating cash flow would exceed capital expenditures by more than $600 million.

Amendment to Bank Credit Facility

Following recent declines in prices for its primary products, FCX has reached agreement with its bank group to amend the Leverage Ratio (Net Debt/EBITDA) under its revolving credit facility and $4 billion term loan from the previous limit of 4.75x to 5.5x at December 31, 2015, 5.9x for the first half of 2016, and stepping down to 5.0x by year-end 2016 and 4.25x in 2017. The Leverage Ratio is unchanged at 3.75x thereafter.

It’s everything you’d expect from a company trying to stay alive, in the middle of the deflationary vortex. In a rational world, the stock should rise on this news.

Bond King, Jeff Gundlach, was out today condemning the Fed for what he called ‘unthinkable’ policy of raising rates into an economy as penurious up as this one.

I’ve been saying this for the better part of 5 years: the United States can and should never raise rates, unless of course we’re able to pay down a large portion of the $20 trillion debt load we’re saddled with.

I read guys like Gundlach, a man who does it big in real life. He doesn’t just talk the game; he lives it. He’s saying the Fed is absolutely nuts for even thinking about hiking. Janet Yellen, and her butterscotched candies, is fucking delusional and should be looking to EASE into more QE, rather than tighten. Look at the shares of CHK, FCX and X for Christ’s sake.

From the moment I laid eyes on here and heard her Woody Allen accent, I knew we were fucked. The rest of the board governors are idiots, always have been. Bernanke put them in check. But Janet is an absentee Fed Chair and she’s letting the hawks form the policy.

Back to Gundlach:

U.S. stocks are “whistling through the graveyard,” according to Jeffrey Gundlach. He’s the founder of Doubleline Capital, which manages over $70 billion in assets.

“There are plenty of markets that are falling apart and freaking out,” said Gundlach Tuesday afternoon on his monthly webcast.

While stocks are moving sideways, the bond market is in trouble, he argues. Junk bonds are at their lowest point in six years and leveraged loans are tanking.

On top of that, emerging market equities are down close to 30% since September 2014.

Then there’s commodities. Oil hit a 7-year low this week and copper and lumber look anemic too.

The Federal Reserve is about to make a mistake
Gundlach called Fed action “unthinkable” given where many parts of the market are right now.

He predicts the Fed will raise rates now and regret it.

Fed chair Janet Yellen and other central bank officials have been stressing in recent speeches that they will move “gradually” to raise interest rates.

But Gundlach says their talk doesn’t match reality. The Fed’s own projections — the so-called “Dot plot” — shows interest rates will be about 1.38% in a year. That’s a big increase from the near zero rates the U.S. has today.

“They are not talking about ‘gradual’ in the Dots,” says Gundlach.

As many investors know, it’s a tough environment. There aren’t many bargains out there and Gundlach calls the Fed a “steamroller” that is about to come through and change the game.

“It’s getting harder and harder to make money,” he says.
Gundlach manages the DoubleLine Total Return Bond Fund.

Did you read that part about the dots? What rational central banker describes policy like that? For the life of me I cannot fathom why the Fed is willing to push $500 billion in oil and gas debt over the cliff; because that’s exactly what they’re going to do.

Mark my words: this Fed is going to leave this economy in tatters. If you thought the past two years were tough, wait until you see what 2016 brings forth–fucking centaurs and the four horsemen of the apocalypse are going to broadcast live from the NYSE, kicking the severed heads of their guests around like soda cans.

I haven’t done free trials for you misers in a while. Consider this your sneak peak into a world of winship.

Let me preface the recent OS signal by Exodus with the fact that it’s missing all of the classic tenets of a truly horrible tape. The commodity debacle is the primary reason for the oversold condition, as evidenced by the lack of OS signals in some of the major ETFs. We did not get an OS in SPY, QQQ or even crude. As a point in fact, ERY, 3x bear oil, was OS just a week ago and is working swimmingly since.

The only notable ETFs that are OS are IYT (trannies) and FEZ (euro stoxx 50). In the case of FEZ, the 12 mo track record for our algos are 14 wins, 1 loss, with an avg return of 3.65%.

However, it’s important to note, despite the absence of big ETF signals, the overall hybrid score is flagging oversold. As such, we must adhere to the non-negotiable laws of mathematics, supremely and sublimely perfected by the Exodus algorithms, and remain long and add to this treacherous market.

The 36 mo track record for the principle oversold algorithms stands at an impressive 77%.

I am certain this is a 500 year plan, something that will position these two companies to profit, immensely, from the rapidly changing landscape.

The companies may announce a merger in the coming days and it would be followed by a three-way breakup of the combined company, the newspaper reported. A deal has not yet been finalized and the talks could fall apart, the people said.

Dow Chemical’s Chief Executive Officer Andrew Liveris is expected to be executive chairman of the new company and DuPont’s Edward Breen will remain CEO, according to the newspaper.

For those unfamiliar with House DuPont and their influence on the founding of our country, its wars, and subsequent rise to become an American form of royalty, immune from such trifle things such as laws, I suggest picking up a book or two about them.

Trust in this: House DuPont wins again.

I had high hopes for the Grossest man on Wall Street. After leaving PIMCO, I thought Bill would regain his swagger and annihilate the catamites who thrusted him onto the streets looking for a job. Well, sadly enough, that’s not going to happen.

Bill had a good run. But all good runs must end.

For the month of November, the fund saw outflows of $73 million, with assets at $1.3 billion at the month’s end, Morningstar said.

So far this year, the Janus Global Unconstrained Bond Fund is posting negative returns of 2.01 percent and lagging 72 percent of its peer category, according to Morningstar.
In November, Soros Fund Management LLC, which billionaire investor George Soros chairs, pulled its roughly $500 million from an account run by Gross at Denver-based Janus Capital Group Inc.

The cash withdrawals are particularly significant for Gross as his Janus Global Unconstrained Bond Fund, which Gross began managing in October 2014, holds more than $700 million of Gross’ personal money.

Bill is down 3% for the year, clownishly lagging behind 72% of his peers. More than half of Bill’s assets under management are his own. Time to call ot quits, Bill. Go lick your fucking stamp collection.