Saudi Arabia is Committing Oil Jihad

Oil fell nearly 6% today, causing a panic amidst the sector. A whole slew of names dropped double digits, making today the worst rout in the oil and gas sector in recent memory.

I suppose when you have a small population and 654 billion dollars saved from the good years of $100 oil, you can afford to ruin your #1 export, in order to destroy your competition. That’s exactly what Saudi Arabia is doing now. Say goodbye to energy independence and get familiar with bowing down to the King of Sand for the next 50 years.

Due to the severity of today’s drop, down more than 8% for oil stocks, debt/eq ratios are blowing out–ballooning the amount of distressed debt to $265 billion.

That only includes stocks that are listed here. The level of carnage that will take place in 2016 will remind you of the sweet summer days of 2008.

Fuck you and your shitty headlines. The Dow is down for the year, really? We have sectors down 50% for the year. Stocks in tech, commodities and retail down 30% across the board.

Gargatuan hedge funds getting blown the fuck up, as if they were holding bags filled with micro-cap shit. Let’s not be so glib about the difficulties this market has posed during 2015.

Last night, our President menaced us by threatening to take away our guns. I do not pretend that the 2nd amendment is still intact, living in a state that will toss you into a gulag for 5 years, mandatory, for having an unlicensed firearm. Gun rights are, at this stage, a state’s issue. The constitution is the toilet paper for the people you elect in Congress.

Nevertheless, the President said Congress should prohibit persons on the “no Fly list” from being able to purchase a gun. How does this pertain to the San Bernardino attacks? It doesn’t. But it’s populism, catering to the weak minded, mentally disabled liberal.

Seventy two employees at Homeland Security are on the “no fly list”, alongide scores of congressmen, including the late Ted Kennedy. It’s completely arbitrary, without due process; and by tethering gun rights to this shadow government blacklist, you permit the gov’t to ban whoever they want from buying a gun.

Moving on. Stocks are lower. Oil is plunging down into the dirt, further pressuring the entire commodity sector. Stocks like FCX, CHK and KMI look like they want zero.

Biotechs are getting lit again, with huge losses found in BLUE, AGIO and many others.

Fucking U.S. motherfucking Steel has a 7 handle.

Oh, yeah, the Dow is also down for the year (takes shot, scowls at tv).

According to Greenlight Capital’s latest letter to investors, Einhorn reopened his GMCR short at $102.

He was quite pleased with the progress, as a point in fact.

With today’s buyout of GMCR, Mother Market, the cruel bitch that she is, took away Einhorn’s biggest winner. In a year plagued with one set back after the next, long CNX, MU, CBI and let’s not forget SUNE, today’s GMCR meteoroic surge has to be both demoralizing and outright upsetting to the good folks at Greenlight.

It’s worth noting, as of recent filings, Greenlight’s largest holdings are AAPL, GM and KORS. Aside from his ‘bubble basket’, Einhorn is also short MNK, ATHN and PXD.

This is an amazing, yet logical move for anyone interested in getting into the coffee/appliance business. The deal is worth almost $14 billion and values GMCR at $92.

Keurig Green Mountain and JAB Holding Company announced that the companies have entered into a definitive merger agreement under which a JAB-led investor group will acquire Keurig Green Mountain for $92.00 per share in cash, or a total equity value of approximately $13.9 billion. JAB is acquiring Keurig Green Mountain in partnership with strategic minority investors who are already shareholders in Jacobs Douwe Egberts B.V., including Mondelez International (MDLZ) and entities affiliated with BDT Capital Partners. At the close of the transaction, Keurig Green Mountain will be privately owned and will continue to be operated independently by the company’s management team and employees.

The agreement, which has been unanimously approved by Keurig Green Mountain’s Board of Directors, represents a premium of approximately 77.9% over Keurig Green Mountain’s closing stock price on December 4, 2015.

The transaction is not subject to a financing condition and is expected to close during the first calendar quarter of 2016, subject to customary closing conditions, including receipt of regulatory approvals. The transaction requires the affirmative vote of holders of a majority of Keurig Green Mountain’s outstanding shares entitled to vote thereon.

As of Friday’s close, more than 12% of GMCR’s float was sold short. All of those people are dead now.

After the close on Friday, Chipotle slashed numbers due to ecoli concerns. I warned that the brand was in the proces of being McDonald’d. After viewing the sheer, unadulterated, hatred in CMG’s analyst reports this morning, it’s safe to say the love affair between the burrito clowns and Wall Street is over.

Here is a summary of this morning’s notes.

Chipotle Mexican Grill: Color on warning following E. coli incident

Maxim Group lowers their CMG tgt to $495 from $585 as the scope of the E. coli outbreak has expanded to more states. Late Friday, management warned of negative 4Q15E (December) comps and withdrew comp guidance for 2016E after the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) warned earlier in the day that the E. coli outbreak had expanded to three additional states. They now believe that a return to positive comps is unlikely before 2H16E, and they argue that heightened top-line uncertainty and higher compliance costs warrant a further reduction in multiples.

RBC Capital Mkts lowers their CMG tgt to $575 from $825 reflecting the impact of the recent E. Coli outbreak. Firm’s new base case assumes a back-half weighted sales recovery in 2016. However, in a downside scenario firm foresees a high-single digit SSS decline, with a modest rebound in 2017.
Guggenheim downgrades to Neutral.

Cowen downgrades to Market Perform

CMG is off $50 in pre-market trade, or 9.1%.

The biotech variety show continues. The jokers at Morgan Stanley upgraded BLUE on 10/5, affixing a price target of $143 to it. Tonight, after some hard data was revealed, that showed BLUE to be nothing more than a devlopmental piece of shit, the spazzes at MS downgraded them in a mea culpa report, slashing the target to a clowish $69.

Why $69?

Because everyone gets fucked that way.

Why bother posting more? All drivel.

Stick to names like AMGN, GILD and EW– avoid the glorified research labs like the plague.

I can’t believe what I just witnessed, the President of the United States, who, by the way looks like complete shit, giving a speech to the American people talking about how Muslim Americans are our friends and how the 16 mo plan against “ISIL” is working.

Fuck, really?

80% of U.S. sorties return without dropping ordnance because of the strict rules of engagement he has imposed on ISIS targets. We haven’t taken out their oil wells, which funds ISIS to the tune of $1.5 mill per day (fuck you very much Turkey), because of environmental concerns.

Really.

Ahead of a scheduled black tie event with his Hollywood friends, Obama offered the American people a solution, to make sure people on the no fly list cannot buy a gun.

I am not kidding.

It’s worth noting that the killers from San Bernardino were not on the no fly list.

Lastly, he chastised us to “stay true” to American ideals, as if we were all morons from W. Virginia, explaining to us how 99.9% of muslims are good and how ISIS is nothing more than thugs, criminals and do not represent islam.

Seriously?

The fuck.

Twitter is buzzing this morning after AG Lynch said Obama’s address to the people this evening will focus on ‘protecting’ the American people, by possibly stripping them of their guns. Personally, I live in an area that will imprison you for 5 years for carrying an unlicensed firearm. Right across the NJ-PA border, which is 5 minutes away from me, you can carry all of the guns to your heart’s delight. I’ve read numerous stories of folk accidentally carrying their firearms over the PA border into NJ and getting hammered with a mandatory 5 year ass rape jail sentence.

That’s fucking retarded.

State’s rights are super important, but not when they’re designed to ass rape the American people.

Back to AG Lynch: her staff confirmed her double-speak meant he was going to ask Congress to act.

She also said that he’ll speak on the actions the United States has taken to keep the homeland safe since the attacks in Paris last month. But there will be an element of politics to the speech.

President Obama will do more than just call for calm, he will ask “Congress to review measures and take action.”

Lynch’s staff later confirmed that the president will specifically call on Congress to review certain gun control measures.

As an aside, the morning after th San Bernardino massacre, AG Lynch was out worrying about speech that “edges towards violence” against muslims. Again, there’s nothing wrong about wanting to protect persons of this country, who happen to be muslim, from fantical nutjobs seeking to hurt them.

“Now obviously this is a country that is based on free speech,” she said. “but when it edges towards violence, when we see the potential for someone lifting that mantle of anti-Muslim rhetoric or, as we saw after 9/11, violence against individuals… when we see that, we will take action.”…

“I think it’s important that as we again talk about the importance of free speech we make it clear that actions predicated on violent talk are not America. They are not who we are, they are not what we do, and they will be prosecuted,” she concluded.

However, it does show you where the minds are with the people in the administation. Their focus is on rules, restrictions and control of the American people. It’s okay for us to smoke bowls of marijuana–because that makes us doscile. The term “hate speech” can be stretched wide and far by an overzealous AG. Just don’t get in the way of the President’s trojan horse immigration plan for Syrian ‘refugees’, else you too might be considered a person of interest and tossed into a gulag for an indeterminate amount of time.

Also, the IRS is watching.

Hahaha, this shit is too funny. Enjoy your freedoms.

A lunatic in London slashed 2 people and stabbed another yesterday, then began screaming and raging inside of the Leytonstone tube, shortly before police tasered him and made him shut the fuck up.

The standoff occurred around 7pm last night and left one man with serious wounds, while two others suffered minor injuries.
Witnesses said that until police arrived, the knifeman, 29, attacked people at random for up to ten minutes screaming: ‘This is what happens when you f*** with mother Syria. All of your blood will be spilled.’

After reportedly slashing his victim’s throat, the man allegedly threatened several other passengers before being confronted by a number of unarmed police officers.
Despite officers ordering the man to drop his weapon, he continued to wave the large knife. One video shows the man lunge towards the police, with witnesses shouting ‘he’s stabbed someone’.

This moron isn’t likely to have a connection to a terror cell. Or, maybe he does, since terrorists are inhenrently stupid, by design. Nevertheless, it’s just another example of the stupidity of man, wasting time and energy on being destructive.

Thank god our weapons are more destructive than theirs. Thank allah that our civilizations are 1,000 years more advanced than theirs and they’ll never be able or permitted to build a standing navy or fly an aircraft that can reach us.

In the meantime, we need to be vigilant of the rats that fester inside of our subways and sewers.

I wonder where this lad was coming from, just before he decided to cut someone’s throat?

I almost feel like a child recommending that you watch a super hero movie. But the Nolan take on Batman isn’t like the clownish version of Batman that you and I grew up watching on the teevee.

Nolan made three movies. Although Heath Ledger gave a performance of a lifetime, playing the Joker in part 2, Tom Hardy’s performance in part 3 stole the show. It’s worth noting that the dystopian storyline in part three was the best part of the film, making it a classic must watch movie of all time.