Am I supposed to be grateful for this rally bestowed upon me? Fuck this rally. By the time I head to the bathroom and back, all of my stocks could be diving into the concrete again.
As I write this, the grifters in the market are taking it down again. After all, Yellen might say something dangerous tomorrow. This wonderful holiday joy that we’re experiencing now might turn into a nightmare and the market might go zero bid on us.
Listen, save yourselves the trouble. Call it a year and go drink yourself unconscious with egg nog. Hedge your clogged arteries with a good life insurance policy and call it a day.
PAH, SHAK, CNC, JAZZ and VRX: those are my largest positions. Will they go up? I hope so. Either way, I am going to begin a short basket for 2016 to profit from the calamity ahead.
Oh, you don’t think calamity awaits you?
Wait and see.
Seasons greetings.
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$PAH what the fuck with this stock. Does Biily AckAck have no power here?
egg-ed nog!!
Sock puppet 1: “My options expire today. What do I do?”
Sock puppet 2: “Eat a sandwhich or Pea soup will do.”
Sock puppet 2: “They hit the accelerator button. options are fine.”
Sock puppet 1: “It was brink of destruction to gift of magi. fireball, fireball”
Sock puppet 2: “Why are you yelling fireball?”
Sock puppet 1: “I saw a fireball”
Sock puppet 2: “Oh, ok”
Walgreens
VRX taking elephant dumps on the haters