THE MARKET HAS BOTTOMED AGAIN (children run about to frolic)

Boys and girls,

The KRAMPUS has been defeated. We’ve bear’d witness to yet another spectacular bottom in the markets. From hereon forth, equity prices will balloon to absurd valuations. The Federal Reserve will enact surprise QE on Wednesday, and the bandits, who run around cutting heads off in the middle east, will go chill and watch some NFLX.

I stand before you a changed man (no homo). Just this morning, I felt we were in for very dire straights. I read stories of panic and mayhem, predictions of the grandest crashes ever to come. Yet, at the close of trade today, the market was a winner. Please ignore the fact that FCX closed down another 6% and most commodity stocks are barreling, headlong, towards empty swimming pools lined with land mines.

‘Tis the X-mas season, a time of year to mock christianity and praise lesser religions for their taste in abject violence. Also, ’tis the time of year to buy lots of presents and line the old plastic tree with lights and baubles made in China. Also, we should expect joyous stock exchanges, filled with cheerful men, clad in X-mas attire.

In all seriousness, going from +150 in futs to negative 50 NASDAQS on the open, to a positive close is insane. And, it’s also uncharacteristic of December. I’d love to say we’ve bottomed for sure. However, current trends dictate otherwise.