WHOA, PLOT TWIST: Walmart Unveils ‘CYBER-SUNDAY’!

What the fuck just happened? Walmart just changed the retail game for sure, by unveiling they’d be moving up those sizzling deals from Monday to Sunday. All of the other retailers are left holding their dicks wondering when they should file for bankruptcy protection.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc has decided that Cyber Monday, the biggest online shopping day of the year, should not start on a Monday anymore.

The world’s largest retailer by revenue will, for the first time this year, launch all its Cyber Monday deals on the Sunday after Thanksgiving rather than the early hours of Monday morning as in previous years.

Cyber Monday’s origins trace back more than a decade when people started using the high-speed Internet access at their workplaces to purchase things they saw but did not buy during trips to the shopping mall over the weekend after U.S.

Thanksgiving, which falls on the fourth Thursday in November.
Now, with Internet access readily available, the logic of limiting the event to a weekday no longer holds, said Fernando Madeira, chief executive of Walmart.com.

“The customers have changed but Cyber Monday hasn’t changed with them,” Madeira told Reuters. “Now everyone has Internet.”

Damn right Walmart: everyone has the internet and you just won the holiday season with this plot twist.

Seriously, I can’t think of a way Target can compete with Walmart now that the deals have been moved up to Sunday. Think about it. You’re online, searching for tubed socks, on Target.com and it’s a sunday and there’s zero deals. But then you head on over to Walmart.com and tubed stocks are 10% off the regular price.

The fuck? It’s a no brainer.

The only way Target can save itself is if they did the unthinkable and went full retard by declaring “CYBER-SATURDAY.” Holy shit, I feel like a criminal just saying that. But you know damned well they’d never do that.