iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,447 Blog Posts

Here’s What You Need to Know Ahead of $APPL’s Earnings Tomorrow

Timothy Cook, CEO of the largest corporation to have ever graced the planet (or since the anunaki mining conglomerates 400,000 years ago), wants to remind you that he is still very much gay, single, and looking. I am sure he will elaborate on his sexual status during tomorrow’s conference call, one which will be more decisive for market sentiment than the Federal Reserve, led by Ms. Yellen.

Markets traded down today and natural gas plunged by fucking 9%, decapitating my CNX position. To think I made a good entry at $11, being that Einhorn bought it 65% higher. WRONG. It appears everything David touches turns to dust. All of the legacy “hot shot” fund managers are having their comeuppance this year. It should be noted that this market is hard, even for Wall Street’s finest. Those finest, as you well know, never touch upon the confines of iBankCoin, a destination whose founder is up more than 17% this year–a year when most are being placed inside of the shredder and fucking disintegrated into thin air.

My largest positions are COST, TWTR and SHAK. I pared down my GILD position towards the end of the day, after another big Señor Tropicana win.

Indeud.

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9 comments

  1. it is showtime

    I’m moving to Alaska.

    9:00 PM on DSC 36, 1 hr 2015 TV-14
    Alaska: The Last Frontier “Calling All Bears”
    Spring has sprung and there’s no shortage of needs

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  2. 1101

    Wasnt dutch east india company the biggest

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  3. Marc David

    Tweets, Burgers and Shopping.. #TBS

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  4. UncleBuccs

    Commodore – congrats on the continued winship this week, as well as the successful conference.

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  5. zheeeem

    Down fucking 9%. Unbelievable. Soon clowns will be handing out free balloons filled with natural gas at shopping malls.

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  6. Rhino

    When are we headed back down? I feel like partaking in the full degeneracy of TZA and VXX Tits.

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  7. J Adabese (your pen pal)
    J Adabese (your pen pal)

    My account in the markets was down some today, but that’s not really what has me a little on tilt this evening. What does though is that I was just informed by a person “in the know” that the person I had pegged for as being Le Fly at the NYC Conference was in fact his fucking proxy !!!! I still don’t believe it.

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