Higher
M&A news: CCG +19.7% (acquired by Harrison Street Real Estate Capital for $7.03/share, or ~$1.9 bln), PMCS +13.3% (MSCC proposes to acquire PMCS for $11.50/share, or ~$2.4 bln; says $SWKS bid sucks balls and theirs is the shit), DBD +3.3% (whatever).
WTW +58.9% (Fat lady named Oprah bought 10% and has option to buy another 5), CPXX +9.6% (FDA shit), ZFGN +9.1% (dead cat bounce), PLX +7.8% (positive data), OCN +7.5% (paying down a little debt; big fucking deal, right?), PLUG +5.6% (no one gives a shit), TSYS +2.6% (blah, blah, blah), DB +2.5% (German bullshit), NAT +2.5% (CRAMER PUMP), TKC +1.7% (mystery!).
Lower:
In reaction to disappointing earnings/guidance: MS -4.5% (fucked), VRX -2.3% (raises guidance; fucked nonetheless).
GNCA -32.2% (phase 2 fails; fucked), GLDD -15.6% (withdraws guidance; in other words, fucked), SDRL -5.8% (whatever), PBR -3.7% (they suck), ZINC -2.8% (miners fucked), FCX -2.4% (fucked), SUNE -2.2% (mystery;fucked)
Analyst comments: UBNT 3.3% (downgraded to shit at JMP Securities), ORCL -1.4% (downgraded to fucked at Pacific Crest), TEF -1.3% (downgraded to horrible from fucked at Credit Suisse), STX -1.1% (downgraded to blah from tits at Susquehanna).
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Aren’t Larry David and Bernie Sanders the two sexiest men alive? Although Lloyd Blankfein and President Obama are neck and neck with them. This would be such a great dinner party.