BEHOLD: The Inverse Samurai

I was so excited last night, watching Japan shoot higher by more than 1,300 fucking points. I felt their courage and wanted America to bask in it. Our futures were up more than 200, heading into trade. And now we’re up 10 points.

This is typical American bullshit, clowns running around dumping whipped cream pies in each other’s faces. It’s so ridiculous, the process by which we take to effect a rally. We all know it’s coming. However, before it truly can become a reality, first we need to circle jerk about a flaming barrel of garbage, tell our kids scary stories of the great depression, and then worry about every tick lower– for “The Crash is coming.”

Motherfuckers.

Cocksucker, motherfuckers, I command thee to stop acting cowardly and to take what’s rightfully yours: NASDAQS.

The thieves have stolen much from the National Treasury. This is your chance to arrest them, thrust them upon the rack, and have your horses rip their arms and legs from their torsos, as you disembowel them with your gnome hooked hammer.