Expect More Than Bad

First let me tell you how I’ve been preparing for this horrendous tape. I’ve spent all weekend trying to determine whether I prefer almond stuffed olives in my dirty martinis or jalapeño. I do appreciate a certain latin flair commingled into my alcohol consumption, every once in a while. After that, I ventured outside of my residence to purchase new areas rugs, art work, and leather bounded books for my library. It was hard work but somebody had to do it.

Bear in mind, the vast majority of my liquid assets are in my checking account, tucked neatly and far away from the stocked market. Granted, I partake in speculation and have significant funds invested. But I am a manager of other people’s assets. To toss my earnings back into the wild flames of the market would be equal to wanton gambling and depravity. These are important matters that you need to address, if you intend to last in this business.

Regarding the market: there are wild currency gyrations fucking with sentiment. The S African rand is down more than 3%, and a wide array of meaningless dog-eating asian countries are having their wigs pushed back. It’s important that you understand China is to blame for everything, for they are the evil doers of our time. God willing, President Donald Trump will make quick work of them and park the USS Ronald “give me your fucking jellied beans” Reagan in the Port of Beijing.

I am expecting European markets to drop by 2-5% today, surprising all of you clown-loving rape victims with expeditious viscosity. You should also expect a severe US open, which may in fact wipe out the last of the canaille and offer a sublime buy the dip scenario for the initiated, men of cloth and substance with significant cash on the sidelines.

Client discussions have gone swimmingly. We discussed the latest in politics over cigars and pipes, then parlayed into the matter of having over 50% cash in government money market accounts. I laid out a fairly straight forward plan to “buy the blood” and to “skull rape” all of the “fuckheads who intend to bet against me.”

I have a buy list located inside of the confines of Exodus. I WILL DRINK YOUR MARGIN CALLS.

Good night and God speed.