iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,428 Blog Posts

We’re Gonna Kill Them All…Next Week

Full massacre, corpses strewn across Wall Street, as markets roar to new highs based off testicular fortitude. That’s what I’m calling for. In the meantime, the weather is hot as shit and humid out. “The Fly” is officially confirming the summer season upon us, a time when chilled white wine and prosecco should be consumed at an alcoholic rate.

I will be stocking up tonight on a wide variety of white wines with the intent to drink all of them, and more. I do not parlay myself about cans of beer because I am not of the white trash varietal. In the event that I did, I would never brag about it, or even let it be known–aside from St. Patrick’s Day festivities.

Moreover, I will have you know, it is not becoming of a gentlemen to wear shorts, even in 150 degree weather. Exceptions can be made for beaches, pools and amusement parks. However, if you find yourself walking about the city square with slacks cut above your knees, just know, you’re a fucking juvenile moron.

Markets went lower today; but I am not alarmed in the least. Join Exodus this weekend and prepare for supreme winship Monday morning.

NOTE: Tune in tomorrow for my 2nd week of Hitchcock reviews.

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21 comments

  1. vandamme

    Please recommend a gentleman’s prosecco, good sir.

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  2. shawnji

    Walking about the office in a Speedo ushered in an official “No Shorts on Men” policy. Perhaps it’s for the best.

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  3. lplongo

    +1 on men not wearing shorts. Unoaked chardonnay and various blancs, here I come.

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  4. jonny

    Never an original thought among the gimp class here. You really do God’s work (extra Lloyd Blankfein) here Fly. Strength.

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  5. Anton

    Adami (no guy) makes an excellent prosecco. Wine Spectator is all about rose’ this month. Never been my thing, but I’m going to give one of their recommendations, Miraval, a try.

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  6. schizo

    nice call on the NEW 4 horsemen

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  7. UncleBuccs

    I’m slightly skeptical that white wine will actually pass your lips… The Satchmo cut is choice, btw.

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  8. it is showtime
    it is showtime

    I will turn any of you lollygaggers’ pants into SHORTS… any day…

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  9. uglyflint

    Guinness. Superior to all spirits. Fuck wine.

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  10. sarjoy

    Stay sober gents, it’s really the only way to go through life.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Said the reformed alcoholic

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    • ironbird

      Sobriety is a drug. Usually for the weak and scared. Stay? However one wants.

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      • Dr. Fly

        The strong moderate themselves.

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        • sarjoy

          I’ve been around the block. I’ve had four major crises in my life. They all involved alcohol.

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          • Dr. Fly

            Sorry to hear about that. But don’t get in the way of my fucking drinking!

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        • vampyr

          The strong often die; and they often wither thems who love.

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  11. Marc David

    Boy am I glad the REAL FLY is back! I didn’t like that short stint where he was not drinking coffee or alcohol. Really bummed out. Good to see him back in full force ready to Exodus into next week.

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  12. one-eighty

    Real beer is a wonderful drink. Unfortunately 99% of what is brewed in the US is swill and does not deserve to be called beer.
    Beer contains water, hops, barley and yeast only. No wheat, no corn sugar, and no fucking rice!
    I thought you were a man of taste and refinement. I guess not.

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