iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

Social Media is Dead Again

YELP, TWTR and LNKD are completely fucked. The only social media stock that did well post earnings is ANGI. Isn’t that a riot? Unlike FB, these companies are immature child-like nerds, unable to close deals.

YELP’s business model has morphed from a cool and hip resource for foodies to a Tony Soprano styled mafia extortion ring.

TWTR is being run by a fucking misfit moron, who should spend far less time at his gym and on the fucking phones trying to close deals.

And lastly, we have LNKD, a former darling of the space who just got clown-raped for losing control of their business. They mentioned a number of reasons as to why they sucked, most of which pertaining to not being able to close deals. They’ve responded to a shitty sales force by aggressively hiring new shitty salesmen. It’s hilarious, really.

Truth be told, these companies aren’t profit oriented, so their culture is one of a corrupt, vagabond, hipster, dipshit, motherfucker.

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19 comments

  1. gorby

    A LITTLE PISSED

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  2. geezer

    I think everyone has a atleast one social media equity in their portfolio and except those who only got FB (obviously Le Fly) the rest had to endure a painful sense of misery during this earning season (me included)

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  3. C. Montgomery Burns
    C. Montgomery Burns

    You have to be a masochist to hold any of these companies through earnings. They’re trade-able, but have fun tying up cash in $LNKD or $TWTR for 6months for a fucking PARTICIPANT TROPHY.

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  4. budh

    profits are for greedy capitalist rapist imperialist sociopaths. Save the Earth!

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  5. ironbird

    Glorified phone books are possibly just phone books.

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  6. ironbird

    Imagine back in time when simply trying to find a taxi cab number in a phone book. Opened the book and a had to watch a minute long ad on how to make your dick work. And the reviews from some asshat named Ted from Baltimore gave it 5 stars. His dick worked after taking said product. All you wanted was a number for a fucking cab.

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    • alf44

      .

      ROFLMAO !!!

      Not crazy about the acronym but it works here !!!

      BRAVO !!!

      .

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    • kdog

      We’ve gone Ad crazy in this world. I hate it.

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  7. it is showtime

    People only have 24hrs(per)
    Only so many movies, tv, radio, nature walks, and status update picture message comments one can make in a single day . . . .

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  8. bexpo

    Wander what TRIP will do after earnings? That is another roller coaster ride after earnings.

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  9. teslawasright

    Fuck LinkedIn and their Babylonian slave worker detection system

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  10. matt_bear

    lnkd is basically the ashley madison for corporate employees, but the secret is already out.

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  11. gnat

    The jerk offs from Yelp call me every month about advertising. My response is how do I get my listing (free) taken down? They say I can’t, it’s free speech, blah blah. They say someone else is getting my “leads” (extra Glengarry Glen Ross), and I say they can have them because the leads are shit.

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