iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,419 Blog Posts

An Unparalleled Display of Sheer Horror

I was very optimistic about my prospects this morning. My second largest position, AGIO, went through the roof and the sun was setting on the last bear. Late in the afternoon, all of my stocks had erections, all headlong towards new highs.

DURING THE FINAL MINUTES OF TRADE, A LOT OF THAT CHANGED.

There were moments, perhaps even minutes, of sheer panic on my behalf. I went from +0.71% to +0.4%, without pause (no homo). It’s not the loss of capital that is alarming, but the rate of change. Frankly, this drama I speak of, this house of horrors filled with smokey mirrors, is an experience I’d rather not repeat again.

As I type this, my gains are recovering somewhat, up to 0.47%. This volatility will indeud be the death of me.

“HERE LIES A SPACE ALIEN MAGICIAN WHO PERISHED ON THE BEACHES OF WALL STREET, DEATH BY DRAMATIC RATE OF CHANGE DECLINE.”

Do not get drunk and cause fights in the saloon lads. Modify your tempers and come back to the field of battle tomorrow, in order to inflict permanent and everlasting (extra mum-ra) damage onto those who seek to destroy you.

I will now try to deal with the emotions that I am feeling now, only being up 0.43% for the day.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

15 comments

  1. growly

    I prefer Mars, the Bringer of War

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. zuuuuul

    HERE LIES A SPACE ALIEN MAGICIAN WHO PERISHED ON THE BEACHES OF WALL STREET, DEATH BY DRAMATIC RATE OF CHANGE DECLINE.

    lol

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. it is showtime

    no new highs DAY2

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. zuuuuul

    Tomorrow the stock market will decrease by 5%.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      Wowza. I might not show up then. If I don’t see it, it doesn’t happen.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • zuuuuul

        Men of virtue are still plagued by teams of foaming drunks. The trick is when to have a drink or ten with them.

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. banjoman

    Excellent music Sir Fly.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. bexpo

    Poor Fly – Not UP Enough. How soon you forget horrors of 2014. You’ve really got this figured out – You are Flying High – Don’t make us Hate You! I love that Planets song. L-O-V-E It! Thank-You.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      The Fly lost money on purpose in 2014, in order to allow the rest of you retards to catch up and feel emotionally attached to me, knowing that I was indeed flawed.

      I will now resume embarrassing the rest of you through extreme and uninterrupted winship.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. handyandy

    Well that’s better than being down 0.535% for the day. ANUS sorry JNS tightened up a bit….nice.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"