iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,434 Blog Posts

A Pastel Outlook on Things

We’ve reached an accord with the good people of Iran. They’ve agreed to cease making weapons that will annihilate large swaths of earthling population; and in return, we’ve agreed to let them make more money. Those centrifuges got awfully expensive. I am sure the Ayatollah was sick and tired of all the “nuke Jerusalem” rhetoric and simply wished to live out his days near the coast of Monaco.

You were tricked earlier today, when the markets gave it up, weren’t you? I was delighted to see that you were 200% retarded, instead of merely 100%. It makes for a much greater demonstration of entertainment for yours truly.

The weather is beautiful and I have no reason, whatsoever, to be here talking with the lot of you. My money management business is at fresh highs, the web business is as depraved as ever, and I am aggressively expanding, not to mention that I am also roasting the stomachs of my enemies in hell.

Exodus is coming, gentlemen. You needn’t have to worry about the future of your digital lives any longer. Go out and knock on your neighbors doors, call your friends and family, have them email me at [email protected] for a beta trial. We have one hurdle left to complete and then you’re in, for a limited time of course. After which, I intend to lunge at you and evict you from the premises of gentlemen.

Enjoy the extended weekend. I’ll be doing my Saturday cinema, as scheduled.

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13 comments

  1. mackypinky

    BANNED!

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  2. UncleBuccs

    Does the lovely Mrs. Fly serve deviled eggs for Easter? She strikes me as the type that makes them fancy-style.

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  3. it is showtime

    43

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  4. TaoOfPatrick

    Just for the trial I’ll give you cuts in line at Honeybaked Ham.

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  5. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Zero chance that Iran gives up its nuclear enrichment program. They will wait until the deadline and say: Har har har we trick you!

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    • it is showtime

      Escalation
      (this all is Not about to go away)

      Chances For Diplomatic Solution To Ukraine Conflic”Slim”, Soc Gen Says
      Russian Submarine Activity Surges 50% Since 2014
      Iraq Warns “All The World’s Capitals Are Under Threat From ISIS”
      Despite US/Israel Demands, Russia Offers Iran Advanced Missiles
      US “Loses” $500 Million In Weapons Given To Yemen, Now In Al-Qaeda Hands
      Russian Sub “Caught” By UK Fisherman After Moscow Threatens To Nuke Denmark
      US To China: ‘Test-Fires ICBM As A “Visual To The World”
      US Plans To Open Naval Base In Australia Risking Tension With China
      Russia’s Newest Military Base Will Be 40km From NATO In Cyprus
      Provocation? NATO Conducts Military Maneuvers 300 Yards From Russia’s Border
      Putin Slams Ukraine Decision To Cut-Off Gas To East As “Genocidal”
      Despite Russian Warnings, US Will Deploy A Battalion To Ukraine By End Of Week
      Putin’s Top Security: “US Approach Leads To Inevitable Confrontation
      With Russia And China”
      Global Conflict Intensity Spikes To 7-Year High

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    • mrprawn

      Why are Iranians now speaking with Chinese accents?

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  6. Dr. Fly

    BORING

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    • vampyr

      Agreed. Do you break down on Easter and stuff your face with candy?

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  7. YOU WILL KNOW ME BY THE TRAIL OF BLOOD
    YOU WILL KNOW ME BY THE TRAIL OF BLOOD

    Does THE FLY allow homos to access this blog?

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  8. ironbird

    Will let the plebs do the freebie. When it is ready. The third sub will be automatic. Ibankcoin for life. This place is the future of the game.

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