iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,429 Blog Posts

Are you Ready to Have Your Faces Chewed Off by Rabid Dogs?

The leisurely stroll through Central’d Park is over. Futures are cartoonishly lower, amidst ‘peasant war’ in the middled east. Oil is higher, serving as a bit of a tease for investors. Those seeking safe haven might take the bait today, shoveling money into what can only be described as a ‘cruel and unusual’ inferno–as the oil sector is destined for incineration.

Markets are now heading towards the lows of 2015, as the likes of Bluestar, and others of his ilk, prepare to feast off the bones of aggressive and ‘entrepreneurial’ longs. These cannibalistic forays are nothing unusual for savage barbarians who live a vulgar life. Men clad in nothing more than straw skirts and elephant bone hats– living adjacent to a live and very active volcano– can only be expected to eat you, at the end of the day.

Yesterday I lost 1.5%. Today, I endeavor to double those losses and field phone calls from panicked investors, desperate for a voice of calm and reason. “The Fly” offers nothing but surreal discomfort in this regard. I shall stoke the flames of horror and point to the Sword of Damocles, suggesting those in need of money to “run away and seek refuge elsewhere” for the cannibals are coming and they are going to chew your faces off.

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28 comments

  1. tradercaddy

    If some of your panicked investors call you after only two days of losses then I would say dump them, if you can.
    When I did the law thing I dumped a few “major” clients who had unreasonable expections.
    I had one wealthy Canadian client (in my early days) who sued me for malpractice millions (he sued other attorneys) when he lost a land fraud case where I defended him. He banged out his Fed. Ct. suit on the prison typewriter. The case kept getting dismissed and he kept refiling against me and others.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Sounds like a nice guy.

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    • Anton

      TC, I hope you let the guy know there were no hard feelings by sending him a subscription to “Modern Bride.”

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      • tradercaddy

        Ha!
        It was a pain in my early career and my malpractice carrier took care of defending it (although I paid a deductible towards their fees). Turned out to be a fairly famous matter as their was a 60 minute story on the guy and his tribulations back in the ’80s. Had to do with international bounty hunters. (he skipped out on his bail).

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        • Anton

          Get to work on a book, TC.

          People would not believe some of the “colorful characters” that really existed and thrived in Florida back in the day. There really was a hit on a big drug dealer in Miami right out of the climax of “Scarface” in the 70s or early 80s. Lots of “Glenngarry Glennross” housing developments sold sight unseen to Northerners. Corrupt judges and politicians by the ton.

          I bet a lawyer would have some good stories. Approach it like “Atticus Finch meets Bernie Madoff.”

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          • tradercaddy

            That’s for sure. I grew up in Miami in the ’60s and ’70s and recall the “cocaine cowboys” shooting up the cars at the Dadeland Mall during the day as well as South Beach being a dump full of druggies and porno shops.
            Some day I will mention the time my firm (they gave the file to me when I was first hired) had me representing The Islamic Republic of Iran when we (USA) froze their assets when the hostages were taken in Tehran. Iranian state owned entities sued USA corps. for damages (involved int’l letters of credit).

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          • Dr. Fly

            Omg that’s hilarious

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  2. zheeeem

    Good, because I’m sitting on way too much cash. Wake me when the babies stop crying.

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  3. Fidel Cash Grow

    From your last post i presume you watched “Marco Polo” on Netflix. What did you think of it?

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  4. zuul

    ““The Fly” offers nothing but surreal discomfort in this regard.”

    lol

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  5. DaJuice

    Your imagery is second to none, nice post.

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  6. thegreatalbatross
    thegreatalbatross

    In tough times, only the strongest, most profitable, and most dividend-rich companies can be held as stable stores of bedrock value.

    Long $CIB and Super Long $AVAL

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  7. dewey dortmunder
    dewey dortmunder

    I read yesterday that someone said this sell off had to do with end of quarter issues. Is that absurd and should I start to get real worried?

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    • traderconfessions
      traderconfessions

      Nobody knows anything. If they do they are full of shit. If you are nervous make sure you have stops in place.

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      • dewey dortmunder
        dewey dortmunder

        Thank you although I would add I do trust Stephen L. Weiss’ opinion on market timing.

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  8. BlueStar: Contrarian Investor
    BlueStar: Contrarian Investor

    Everyone should relax. So far this sell off has not proven me right. I am a little right so far. I would love to see a retest of 2061 on SPX then a reversal. Panic will set in. So far I got nada.

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  9. BlueStar: Contrarian Investor
    BlueStar: Contrarian Investor

    Bulls need to punch through right here right now.

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  10. traderconfessions
    traderconfessions

    Just like the old days.. IBM leading the way.

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  11. budh

    Cannabis is coming? Just relax, it’ll all be fine. Make some random trades just so you think you are doing something. If they work out you are genius.

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  12. jpmorgains

    I love when you describe the wardrobe and living arrangements of the bear camp.

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  13. lesurgeon

    The timing on the bounce though..

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  14. the dude

    OK so that was it? Maybe another leg down tomorrow morning but for now WTF. That was a spring shower to water the daisies. I was expecting spewing lava to cover all living things in a molten mass of slaggy fire from hell.

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