As Owner of a Leading Financial Site, I Want the Market to Implode!

Alas, the spoils of war will be mine, once the decaying corpses are laid bare across the digital field. Men with 4 figure net worths eliminated from the game of play; lonely, desperate and without top hat, they will fixate themselves to a source of supreme authority and expertise: the Imperial domain of iBankCoin.com.

Markets of this varietal, low volatility, 40 points per day gentlemen strolls across Central’d Park, are the bane, a most hated affair, for owners of financial properties, such as mine. When things are on fire (the bad sort of fire), societal upheaval, men clad in burlap undergarments visit websites, such as this, and click merrily on the advertisements on the side and top.  The few women who dare to visit House Fly on stark down days join The PPT and undergo sex change operations,  dress themselves to look like penguins in black tuxedos, and disguise themselves as men to be readily accepted by the vermin who loiter about the outside of our gates.

The reader class, in a frantic mess, in between bankruptcy proceedings, seek immediate council from the boys at 12631 and Mr. J. Kohler in After Hours with Option Addict. In a last ditch attempt to salvage their marriages, they put 100% of their assets in weekly options that quickly and viciously expire worthless. It wasn’t even close.

However, until those gloomy days of joy present themselves, we’re all experts now. The vulgar walk amongst the distinguished, drinking the same champagne, smoking the same cigars. Weekly calls in biotech and solar stocks net tremendous results, leading gold digging wives to request a renewal of marriage vows and subsequent “2nd honeymoon” in a desolate part of the world, somewhere exotic and French. I’m thinking St. Barts.

Everyone is in love, even the reader class.

Comments are now kept to a bare minimum here, as the reader class cavorts amongst the idiots on social media venues, bequeathing expert advice to others on an hourly basis. Traffic is a bit light this time of year until late May, which typically coincides with a full scale assault upon the portfolios of morons. This cycle I speak of repeats itself over and over, in a swooning, predictable, and sickening pattern.

Luckily for yours truly, I have an occupation to uphold, distractions to behold and profits to enjoy.

Early going, the market looks like it wants about 30-50 points higher. As you were.

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