iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,452 Blog Posts

I Know Why You’re Short Stocks

Imagine a rocketship about to take off to outer space. Now picture yourself in a position to ride inside of said rocket ship for a 6 year trip, hidden from the crew, stowed away in the ass of the ship without food or water. Your plan is haphazard at best. You only care to ride in the rocketship for the sake of riding in the rocketship. You haven’t thought it through and now you’re hungry and desperate with thirst. But it’s too late. The rocketship is in outer space and the crew doesn’t know you exist, as you reside in the ass of the ship, stowed away from civilization.

Within one week hence, you will die. However, the autopsy will not show that you perished from thirst or starvation. There is one reason why you stepped onto that rocketship, and one reason only: you are a fucking idiot.

Nothing else can properly explain why you do what you do. One must simply chalk it up to a line drive off the head as a boy, or a genetic default that renders you incapable of making quality life decisions.

We all have bad trades, some last longer than others. Stubborn, brutish, ox-headed and aggresssive are some of the traits associated with man. I am guilty of possessing all of those qualities. But I am not an idiot, unlike you. I see what I see and know what I see.

They (central banks) have been gifting you guaranteed wins for almost 6 years now, yet you choose to continue this reckless path of moronic design; you pig headed jackass of a fool.

This period will be viewed upon as the meridian, the crown jewel, for investors, of all time–making the Gilded Age look like a time whence austere lifestyles dominated and strangled America’s rich. You will get to tell your grandchildren that you sat out the greatest run of all time because you disagreed with a set policies that you feigned to understand, in the simplest of terms, and opted to bet against the most powerful central bank mankind has ever seen.

Bravo (golf clap).

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43 comments

  1. zombie

    FIG

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  2. zuul

    Long March SPY puts as of 204.35.

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    • zuul

      This mkt cannot be traded One Direction [extra Styles].

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    • Dr. Fly

      boring

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      • zuul

        Stocks will not be up tomorrow. You are now my mortal enemy.

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        • Dr. Fly

          It doesn’t matter what you think.

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          • zuul

            True, but the point is that today’s rally has to be faded. This is a new mkt where the old rules do not apply and cannot be trusted. The meat grinder. Continuations do not happen here.

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          • thenose

            earnings suck. fed raising rates in June/July. rallies are capped here. End of story.

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          • thenose

            also japanese and european central banks doing QE…so what? look at 10yr treasuries, they are rising already. the logic that because european cb keeps rates low means ours will be too is bogus. our rates is the sun. it powers all.

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          • it is showtime

            Bonds, may be moving into pop potential. Number of countries negative. continued cuts. german bund now UNDER japan. Uh

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        • it is showtime

          The push for another leg. That manipulation may keep pushing. But.

          The last few times, each has had an increasing number of Dubious conditions/future conditions surrounding it (dot dot dot)

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  3. Marc David

    Where’s Huggie?

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  4. matt_bear

    the future of the free world is bright. Premium burgers served on artisan buns with high quality custard shakes.

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  5. it is showtime

    F O R T Y –
    onnnnnnnne

    Months Without

    A

    10 %

    corrrrrrrrrrectionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNN

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    • Dr. Fly

      And YOU KEEP FUCKING BETTING THAT NOW IS THE TIME IT WILL HAPPEN!!

      You make my point so easy.

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      • it is showtime

        feds in a box NEEDING always rising indexes
        always rising indexes EVENTUALLY unattainable
        law of diminishing returns GUARANTEE
        forced valuation REVERSION will feedback loop

        …now has become when
        …I can outlast
        …you sheep

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        • Dr. Fly

          zero is still zero

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        • frog

          “EVENTUALLY unattainable
          law of diminishing returns GUARANTEE
          forced valuation REVERSION will feedback loop”

          Yes, the market eventually becomes rational, and then there is a reversion to the mean. But if it takes years for that to happen, bears will be pretty broke by then.

          I guess you have not hear the old saying “The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent.”

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          • it is showtime

            My acct is flat the last few years
            I deposit what I need to stay flat
            Boom. I can wait. Yesiknowthatline

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  6. BlueStar: Contrarian Investor
    BlueStar: Contrarian Investor

    I love a short on TUR. Shit show waiting to happen.

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  7. spydercrusher

    “You will get to tell your grandchildren that you sat out the greatest run of all time because you disagreed with a set policies that you feigned to understand”

    Bravo.

    Except feigned is not the correct word. Feigned means insincere. These bozos are extremely sincere in their woeful misunderstanding.

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    • it is showtime

      Again, everyone enjoyed 2005-2007,
      Easy to take the side during the boom of a boom-bust
      Easy to get lured into a boom of what becomes boom-bust

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  8. C. Montgomery Burns
    C. Montgomery Burns

    Peter Ponytail pumping your AAL purchase.

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  9. the_ambassador

    Regardless of whether the market continues to fly up tomorrow or slams down, this was a great post! Loved it. And totally agree. Although I also agree with the above commenter that we are no longer in a normal market atmosphere… But we are not mere mortals here. We are kings. If we have to we will be buying up all the short position ETFS we can get our hands on while selling the massive gains we made today from going long last week. Let the profits continue to pour in! And drink them in healthily!

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  10. alf44

    .

    Let’s see … hmmmm …

    ROCK … PAPER … SCISSORS ???

    .

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  11. J Adabese (your pen pal)
    J Adabese (your pen pal)

    “You only care to ride in the rocketship for the sake of riding in the rocketship.” -epic

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  12. alf44

    .

    Fly, your LT Hold stock $BID seems poised on the daily/weekly chart …

    Nice chart ! IMO

    .

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  13. matt_bear

    there’s no place for iceberg lettuce on a premium burger. leafy spring mix now.

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  14. snoozemr

    Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes …. you skin it and leave its carcass for the jackals 🙂

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  15. jpmorgains

    The title of this post is actually “Autofellatio”.

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  16. zheeeem

    I’m glad there are still a few bears around. When they finally capitulate, the bull market will be over.

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  17. alf44

    .

    … And OH … BTW …

    That was the lamest freakin’ Super Bowl Halftime “Show” … I have EVER witnessed !!!

    Just Pathetic !!!

    GAWD AWFUL !!! IMO

    .

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  18. ironbird

    In other news the distinguished gentleman of the greatest financial site of these internets are banking fucking coin. Bull or bear Ibankcoin is working. Proud member of the premium services 12631 and AOWOA. There is a hurricane of winship coming to all that walk these hallowed halls. Senor Fly has built Noahs fucking Arc for the big or small player. Get on board.

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  19. ironbird

    The only thing that can kill this tape is the “surprise” rate hike. Rigged works all ways. Up or down or epileptic seizure correction. It is only real if it looks real.

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  20. carolina

    I enjoyed that diatribe, as I usually do. You left out a key reference to Lemmings…thx

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