Before I rejoice in the soon to be public Shake Shack, ticker symbol SHAK, I want to tell you a horrible story (fair warning given).
Once upon a time there was a small boy living in a foreign land. He was staying at his Uncle’s house during the summer, taking in the ocean breeze, hamming it up with his cousins. One morning his Uncle woke them up and asked them if they’d like to go on a journey. The boy and the cousins celebrated this idea with vigorous tenacity and packed a small bag to head down to the beach with their Uncle.
It was very early in the morning. The sun was barely out and the weather was a bit damp and cold. His Uncle told them of an ancient ritual that could cast away disease, bad luck and give him the vitality he needed to be a successful man. Barely 12 years old, none of these things meant anything to the young boy. But he agreed to undergo the ritual with his Uncle and cousins for the sake of sport.
While walking on the beach his Uncle said they needed to head over to the rocks. The young boy was so excited over this mysterious adventure he was nervously shaking with a smile from ear to ear.
They arrived at their destination and his Uncle stepped in the water with his eyes focused on the ground peering near the rocks. Ah, he found it! Uncle pulled a giant turtle out from the water and raised it up to the sun. The boys were ecstatic. They’ve found their treasure and now the ritual was complete!
But the Uncle wasn’t done.
He pulled 4 shot glasses out from his bag, one for the boy, two for the cousins and one for himself. He then turned the turtle over on his back, pulled out a knife, and removed the turtle from its shell. By this time the small boy was in shock, unable to move. His great Uncle then picked up the turtle, raised it to the sun and stabbed it in its heart. He then squeezed the turtle’s blood into the shot glasses and demanded everyone to “drink now”, while hot, before the blood congealed.
The ritual had been completed. The boys and the Uncle then went back home to watch a soccer game.
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http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/huh.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y
Will Turtle blood be coming to the Shake Shack menu?
Did they top it with whipped cream with a caramel drizzle, sans cherry?
Of all the stores you have related – this is the most repulsive….and PLEASE do not ban me. I still have the highest regard for this gentleman…indeud.
It was told to me at dinner about a week ago. A delightful tale.
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… while that was pretty gross …
gotta say I was expecting worse !
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thats real fuckin neato
sooo, did it taste like chicken?
Holy fuck’d.
So what was the moral of this story??
The moral is that one should stop reading when Le Fly says something like, “I want to tell you a horrible story (fair warning given).”
I truly thought this was going to be the tale of Hitler peeing into the goat’s mouth and getting his penis bitten…
I think this story came up (at DINNER no less) after someone asked the teller of the tale, “Three sessions a week since you were 12 years old? If it’s not too personal, can you tell us what drove you to therapy in the first place?”
And here I thought they were going to get raped, so turtle blood isn’t so bad.
Turtles? This guys likes cobra
http://ibankcoin.com/shabl/2014/12/17/eating-king-cobra-heart/
Fly, how do we access the blogs from the old school guys that were blogging last week? thank you
No human sacrifice? No bizarre ritual? (this was NOT a bizarre ritual)
Le Woos wrote this.
I was hoping that the young man would return from the beach with one less cousin.