iBankCoin

RUINOUS PIN ACTION

Now that we’ve settled the matter of bear v bull market and have concluded that we’ve been in a ‘severe bear market’ all along, it is time to acknowledge the ruinous pin action that presents itself to us, each and every day.

Do you like 3-D stocks? How about LEDs? Might I offer you some solar stocks? Perhaps if a republican wins, we can profit from some coal. Better yet, deep water drilling is all the rage. Drill baby drill. Have you heard about fracking and the wonders of horizontal drilling? Did you know web 2.0 is going to be bigger than web 1.0? I have a cure for fatty liver. I have a cure for cancer. And, I have a cure for ebola.

With oil trading lower, might I offer you some airline stocks? Or, better yet, a shipper or two?

Brazil, Russia, India and China is where it’s at, plain and simple. Look, I even made it into an acronym: BRIC.

Did you know Brazil was energy independent, choosing sugar ethanol over oil? Did you know Brazil no longer relies on sugar ethanol and now favors oil?

Ethanol is a cleaner fuel. Surely we can save the world by investing in ethanol stocks. While we’re at it, I’d like to explore some alternative energy names.

My wife once said KORS is better than COH. Bill Ackman likes JCP. Carl Icahn likes HLF. Everyone likes AMZN. No one likes SHLD.

If a hurricane strikes the US, you want to own generator stocks. And, if drought hits the US, let’s buy corn related names. But, if corn gets too high, we should short companies who sell chicken wings. And, if the Fed stops tapering, we should short the market.

Did you know Taco Bell was going to start competing with CMG?

Why would anyone want to make coffee in a Keurig, when they have a perfectly fine coffee pot at home?

But, if the Fed does another round of QE, we should short the dollar and buy gold. Buy gold all the time because the dollar isn’t worth anything.

Etc, etc, etc.

 

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46 comments

  1. pyromonoxide

    that was awesome!!! FIG. Was ebola in there?

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  2. zuul

    Sell all of your stocks and buy a garbage truck. Start small, and eventually buy another truck and take up more routes.

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  3. snoozemr

    the above message has been approved by the Flat Earth Society

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    • Dr. Fly

      The earth is actually a sphere. Look it up.

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      • snoozemr

        interesting, sort of like an M&M. on an related note, although it looks like this ticker is about to fall off the end of the Earth, i initiated a postion in CTF today.

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  4. dragun

    Your manic blog hit the nail on the head as to the state of our markets

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  5. the shiek

    Indeud, who wants slow money?? I want “FAST MONEY”

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  6. teslawasright

    Enki and Enlil are our masters and we shall live in interesting times as the Illuminati play out the King James version of the Bible. Off to Niburu

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  7. smartestone

    2014 has been a hard market, that’s for sure. Find yourself in the wrong stock and or sector and you can be down 20% in a week.

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  8. ictmoneyman

    Notwithstanding that big pile of shit that gets dumped on me every single day!

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  9. vampyr

    I like to think of it this way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoXLKgX0MgU

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  10. frog

    Great stuff, Fly. That’s the most hilarious satire on market articles and newsletter ads I’ve ever seen. ROFLMAO.

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  11. dvk1970

    Central banks and governments with their algo mercenaries have taken over what once was a market.

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  12. Option Addict

    Epic.

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  13. handyandy

    Successful investing is anticipating the anticipations of others. It really is that simple. Your just on a Debbie Downer because you son failed to anticipate the anticipations of others. By all accounts you have enough money not to have to sell yourself round the back of MCD, so be thankful for that small mercy.
    You Fly have preached wide and aloud on the merits of investing, and the types of stocks you choose, Chinese Burritos was a common theme for a week or so.
    One could argue that a multitude of oil stocks could be regarded as Chinky Wraps at present, and for sure some are.
    However, there are lots of oil stocks that are great opportunities at the moment, and I am backing the Lada Riva up to load up. Just remember, back in 2008, when the World was at an end and everything was going to shit, nobody wanted to buy stocks, but if you did, you would be running around now in your underpants screaming in glee like a Mogadoned Rabbi at the wailing wall.

    Oil will recover, and fortune favors the brave.

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  14. BlueStar: Contrarian Investor
    BlueStar: Contrarian Investor

    Active management is dead! Long live the Bots.

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    • The Equalizer

      Brings to mind the real question – who’s actually making money off this? Every sector’s gotten sliced and diced this year in rapid succession.

      It dovetails rather nicely with a trend I’ve seen amongst retail and/or younger investors to just buy the index ETF and fuggetaboutit. It’s not entirely without justification; we all know most mutual fund managers underperform, and this was the year that most hedgies underperformed too.

      Suppose there’s a generational shift afoot from active management to passive management. The only buzzword that seems to draw dollars is “smart beta,” which is somewhere between the two.

      On that generational shift note, I recently re-read “The New Market Wizards,” and what struck me as important today was not what struck me as important 20 years ago. A lot of these guys were smart. But the real money was made in being among the first people to apply something like Black-Scholes to option pricing, or to be the first people able to use computers to perform index arbitrage in real time, rather than relying on batch processing using last night’s closing figures.

      What happens when the robots really *do* add more value than managers do? I’m not implying they’re actually adding value; I’m implying that if people are shifting from active to passive strategies, the bots in charge of the passive strategies will necessarily outperform active managers. (…until the next 1987-style or 2010 Flash Crash, but that’s a once-every-few-years exception as long as everyone from Joe Sixpack to Patrick Pensionfundmanager just buys the index…)

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  15. doubleplus

    Internet said we can make a buncha money in the OTC stocks.

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  16. berniecornfeld

    Brilliant!

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  17. linmoo

    This manic market is precisely why mangers are running up prices in the most lethargic, low-beta equities with a sliver of yield. Gone are the days of speculative growth investing with a modicum of forward-looking ability. Now it’s all about hiding your money precisely when the US economy is actually becomes self-sufficient and beating the shit out of all other world economies. Today’s market makers are a bunch of pussies.

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  18. budh

    Buy and hold. Sell if it goes down 10%

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  19. gappingandyapping

    I have the simple answer, just buy the $DIA $QQQ and $SPY and you will beat everyone.

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  20. Bullish

    Awesome post.

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  21. Mr. Partridge

    This is some great writing Dr.

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  22. incometrader

    Summarizes everyone’s feelings this year, we’re all getting shit thrown at us yet indexes look wonderful.

    2014 is truly the year of the index ETF

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    • matt_bear

      agreed 100%.

      beautiful veneer underneath some low quality particle board shit.

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    • Adabese

      I heard J Livermore is on the cusp of a 100% year thanks mainly to Le Fly and The Options Addict. $IFONed home and someone answered.

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  23. pouncencapture

    Brilliant post! Captures the essence of trading these days.

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  24. bensteinsmoney

    The reset in price of oil is the new QE for Industrial America.

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  25. snoozemr

    out of GLNG 43.18. sure it will go higher but very nice profit plus caught the divy.

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  26. smartestone

    there are two thing that control this market: funds and robots. Robots are always bidding up SPY and DIA. that is pretty much their job. Then you have these overpaid idiots called fund managers whose job it is to beat the bots, but they do a really bad job at it . They are schizophrenically switching from one sector/stock to the next at whim, desperate for any edge and always coming up short.

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  27. duckkell

    Shippers?? Which one?? Being consumed by BALT now – when these fuckers gonna move?

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  28. macpatton

    I hope that big fish did not eat the Fly. He was pretty close taking it’s picture with his GoPro.

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  29. Adabese

    My sister gave me a lap top as an early Christmas present with a remote internet connection through a mobile phone. I’m keeping them both hidden in my cell. I’m going to trade the shit out of this market !!!!

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