iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,418 Blog Posts

A Working Theorem on America

state_map

Current map of America, as presently situated

When America was founded, the people chose to live along the east coast, mainly the northeast corridor. There is a specific reason for this, much to do about migration from europe and the like. Not before long, men of extreme importance and industry took up quarters in the northeast, establishing it as the stalwart section of this great, new, vibrant world.

Then poverty crushed the skulls of the lower middle class. Couple that with the fact that low-brow immigrants streamed into the nation; we, the people, desperately needed a place to store the third estate.

So we sent them out west.

We published elaborate tales of splendor and riches to be had in the Dakotas and California, most of which were wonderful lies. But it did the job. We used these pawns, these whiskey swillers and grave robbers, to settle the lands, kill off those annoying Indians and build us a fucking railroad. After they did all of that, we simply took the choice real estate for ourselves.

So the question I pose to you is this:

What sort of lineage and genetic gene pool resides in these “utterly useless” areas of the Unites Steaks? One might argue it is a gene pool passed down from charlatans and hucksters, persons of low standing who thought it made sense to take the whole family on a 3,000 mile road trip through dense forests and Indian arrows, just so that they could mine for some gold and become rich. These were the original lottery players, the lady at the bingo machine trying to make it big.

I realize fly over country is now populated with plenty of good people, most of whom are bible thumping maniacs who pride themselves on being good mid-western folk. But I remind you to keep a close eye on these people, for they are the direct descendants of persons of ill-repute, gamblers and vagrants who embodied the term ‘hobo’ and thrusted chaos upon the American landscape, all for the sake of some quick money and cheap opportunity.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

63 comments

  1. zombie

    The Fly is God.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. frazzledazzle

    that about sums it up

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. bart smith

    Your theory is backwards. Colorado is the greatest state. The east is for Obama loving liberals, as is the west coast.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • bart smith

      Florida is for old people.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      It simply isn’t true. You might hold Colorado dear because you are a dope smoking beer swiller. But the fact remains, and you need to ask yourself “Am I Lying?”

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • alty

        I realized Colorado’s superiority during your “where should I go for summer vacation” post. I’ve got more I can do within a 2 hr drive than you’ve got along the whole Eastern seaboard. Not to mention that outdoor activity lasts all 4 seasons here. I’m getting my ski legs ready while New Yorkers get their Netflix subscriptions ready for a winter of gluttonous hibernation.

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. og

    As a SoCal resident, I concur.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • bart smith

      Went to school in San Diego. Great weather but now all the parks are full of homeless.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • og

        This is true, but it’s because the weather is so nice there. 🙂

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • Bullish

          I always wonder why the homeless up north stay here. It only makes sense to invade the nicest climate areas. Not like they have to deal with the taxes or cost of living when you’re homeless.

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
          • gapfiller

            Same here. If I ever become homeless, my ass is going straight to San Diego or, should I be able to hitch a ride in some sort of cargo transportation vehicle, Hawaii.

            • 0
            • 0
            • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. UncleBuccs

    The map alone made me laugh…

    On a more serious note, I don’t believe for a second that Zach was the father of the aborted baby on the Good Wife last night.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. xxxhuggiebearxxx

    Market looks sick again

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • og

      Crossing my fingers that we don’t sell off into the close like Friday. Not looking good.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. anton

    That map will be this year’s Christmas card from family Anton.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. tradercaddy

    Back from my birthday bike ride and see I got lucky and my RYDEX transfers this AM got in @ the low so thus far I’m up about 2% on the Russell 2X and 1% on the DJIA 2x.
    The McClellan Oscillator hasn’t dipped to the Aug. low yet as have the sentiment indicators among other things.
    My vomit bucket indicator hasn’t been reached yet as there may be fear but nobody throwing up yet on this site.
    Out @ the 4PM price although it’s tempting to keep some in the Rydex 2X S&P short for the bank earnings coming up in the AM.
    Bring on Social Security (still 47 and a half).

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • anton

      Do something fun to celebrate your birthday today, TC. Like explain the unfortunate math of Social Security to a millennial.

      Hope it’s a memorable day.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. speerothekid

    k

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. tradercaddy

    Also glad Fly put me in the useful part of the USA, however, if there is a Civil War I am going with the fine people in Flyover country and the hell with the elitists.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. operator1

    Too many people on the coasts. I don’t like people. I’ll take my 40 acres in the bottom right hand quarter of the “utterly useless” far away from the sight of cities any day.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. Bullish

    Most people from the northeast corridor are assholes, just sayin.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. typebtrading

    Chicago is utterly useless? come on.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • tradercaddy

      They have Chicago style Dogs, the Cubs, the Art Institute,…… I have nothing else.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. it is showtime

    Does one hold NSPH from here or exhale and sell

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. MAXIMUS

    ohio gave you gen. grant and what victoria’s secret is today – redraw this map now

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. schizo168

    Oh YEAH !!
    BLACK TUESDAY TOMORROW

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • tradercaddy

      Also Turnaround Tuesday.
      So named on 10/20/87 when @ about 10:30 AM or so the rumor was that Alan Greenspan & Co were buying futures to prevent another Black Monday.
      The beginning of the PPT (Plunge Protection Team).

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. xxxhuggiebearxxx

    EBOLA must be breaking out….news to come soon.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. schizo168

    So does the market crash on oversold condition ?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. Trent J

    The market is now on double secret probation.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  20. pyromonoxide

    Ill admit, it appears that genetically I come from a line of outlaws, land thieves, and dubious lawmen. (New Mexico) Wow, it’s no wonder I love the stock market and hate my boring, sheep-like, law abiding day job.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  21. dewey dortmunder

    I live in Texas and I can opine with great certitude that the dumbest people I have ever met are from New Mexico and Arizona. These dopes are only a sixteen stupider than those educated in the old Confederacy.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  22. daluke

    Oh shit!, another finance blog….

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-10-13/doug-kass-day-market-died

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  23. dewey dortmunder

    *sixteenth

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  24. bonobo smores

    First Michael Savage as a voice of reason, and now this? … panic has indeed set in

    glad I actually live off the map

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  25. schizo168

    sold ALL my VXX and covered XIV for at 3:58pm.. now starting a small short position of VXX

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • sethster99

      Wow, Skizo, you are really making this much harder than it has to be. Just buy UVXY and hold it. As the sell-off worsens, UVXY grows exponentially. I am now up 44% from Thursday with no anxiety.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • it is showtime

        Everyone is so programmed, for the bounce, and, for the Short Vxx Short Uvxy Buy Xiv move (double lol)

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • sethster99

          You’re right. I guess I know when to sell my UVXY. When the last bull-tard on here turns bearish.

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  26. pandabear

    Fly, when do we double down on SLCA? Down a cool 20% on it from Friday.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  27. daluke

    I made the “cut” being on the east syde (extra gangsta) of Pa. Boom! for Lehigh Valley

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  28. deng go there

    Sorry, but the ‘East line’ is too far West and the ‘West line’ is too far East!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  29. rahagar

    Coastal morons are what has totally fucked up this country.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      Coastal morons as you call them built this country to what is is today

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • rahagar

        pfffft on them. They perpetuate war and the illness trade.

        Here in flyover country, just one small “contribution” to the coastal Oligarchs…the silicon chip (in that very same Dallas TX you badmouthed the other day)…whereby the money skimmers can more efficiently “do Gods work” soaking nickels from out of the flyover country working classes 401k’s

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  30. J Livermore

    I see TX did not make the cut, therefore this map must be very accurate. Well done Le Fly.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  31. bruce keller

    IWM looks like it wants to bounce tomorrow, just sayin’. Might get some same week calls near the open but probably not right at. Hopefully everything gaps down a little more except IWM(and QQQ) to make them more lock in step on the bounce.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  32. it is showtime

    Sold NSPH before afterhours hellyeah

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  33. cat

    I live in Kansas … We have great barbeque … then there are the crazies that keep making the national news . Okay … probably a good reason for Dr. Fly to fly over Kansas.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  34. sodapopinski

    Omfg top 10 post ever right here! A Masterful account of American History

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"