iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

THE EBOLA RALLY IS COMING

Has there ever been a wall of worry this high, morbidly built upon the skulls of the ebola-stricken deceased? It has washed onto our shores, courtesy of some do-gooder who was likely trying to feed rice to small children in Liberia. The end result was he caught a deadly virus, and potentially killed numerous americans on the airplane he was traveling on– and in his small, stupid, town of Dallas.

Why isn’t there a fucking travel ban to west africa?

Now we have a reason to panic. We’ve all seen the zombie movies, apocalyptic endings that could only mean the complete destruction of the stock market. Aside from all of that, the dollar is strong, sending wheat and oil lower. Oh, how I pine for $4.50 gasoline and out of control corn prices.

This market will be served by obsequious traders, men prepared to buy dips and climb that skeleton’d wall of worry.

When was the last time buying oil above $100 worked? People always get the trade wrong, avoiding it at the lows and buying the highs.

These are the times of your lives, people. Embrace the never-ending story of extreme gluttony and unchecked hedonism. The occasional magnum of champagne and endless sea of shrimp cocktails will be funded by this market.

Be predatory and embrace the fear as cause to kill thy neighbors, weaponize your portfolios into blood seeking hounds, clamoring for bargains, opportunistic to the point of savagery.

My top picks are my top holdings. I reiterate EMES, BITA and PANW, with CLR a close fourth.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

69 comments

  1. rahagar

    My advice, if you live near Dallas, as I do, take a day off from randomly licking other people.

    Buy CLX, everyone will want to be all sanitizing shit yo.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • heaterman

      Interesting that CLX just issued a warning about contaminated product coming out of Venezuela having possibly entered the “food chain” here.
      To many coincidences…….

      It’s 0bama’s fault.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. julian

    4qtr of mid-term election year, for the seasonality people.

    http://jeffhirsch.tumblr.com/post/97244281978/four-year-cycle-sweet-spot-s-p-500-could-top-2300

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. Flux Capacitor

    Ebola is here!

    Garlotti, start up the engines.

    Prepare hot soup and blankets for the survivors!

    Wagner, break out the rifle!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. smartestone

    ,,you went long too soon, totz. I would have stayed wit the utilties . TBH,.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. ironbird

    General Butt Naked. Liberia is God’s real life version of hell. Truly a wall of worry that never goes away.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. tradercaddy

    Ebola is a government plot to reduce the social security and medicare population in order to make them solvent.
    I plan to take my SS early, therefore I will be wearing a hazmat suit when I leave the house (if I ever leave again).

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Flux Capacitor

      Government employees don’t have the brains or foresight to orchestrate that kind of plot.

      If they did, no need for ebola – free cigarettes for everybody over age 47 1/2 would fix the budget within two decades.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. test

    Fuck you Im in Dallas…

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. J Livermore

    I really am going to die clutching my brokerage statement while foaming at the mouth.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. BlueStar: Contrarian Investor
    BlueStar: Contrarian Investor

    I go long after Obama declares marshal law and Quarantines his opponents with sick individuals thus killing off the opposition. Its a good thing he signed some executive orders recently that allows him to do this. Surely I jest.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. J Livermore

    What’s the difference between Ebola and SARS?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. Bruce Keller

    I’ve been joking about having Ebola all day anytime I sneezed or did something stupid. I joked a lot about Ebola today.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. ironbird

    As long as Clooney does not get married in a Liberian clinic. Which could start an elitist death wish. Stocks would crater to pay for the funerals.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. PDCjr

    Prices will come in. Then, like walking through the old battlefields, we will take our treasures off the corpses that lay dead… Not yet. Walk out now…the Berserker will take your head.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. J Livermore

    Zerohedge must be cumming all over themselves on the Ebola news.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. tradercaddy

    VP Biden thinks ebola is an Italian bowling center.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. paramedic648

    Oh, how I pine for $4.50 gasoline and out of control corn prices. Love this guy

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. Dr. Fly

    Zombie has signed up to the ibC vegas cocktail party. Something tells me he will be first.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. Sia

    Fly, why do you link to youtube vids of such shitty people? Come on now, don’t tell me you listen to this type of garbage.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • BlueStar: Contrarian Investor
      BlueStar: Contrarian Investor

      Sia when did you become a CIA dis information analyst? Like The Fly gives a shit what you think.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. RaginCajun

    I never watch Savage, but do when you post clips.

    Shit, I feel like the world is about to end and I need more guns.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  20. Dr. Fly

    Sia

    I only watch msnbc for my news because it makes me laugh and I love savage because he makes me laugh. What’s wrong with that!?

    You people are too insecure to listen to others who differ from you?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  21. UncleBuccs

    Probably won’t help, but I’m about to order up a heaping of Olive Leaf Extract and Vitamin C capsules, and plan on popping these babies like PEZ… http://www.xrwh.com/herbsinfo/oliveleafextract.htm

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  22. JPMorgains

    We should just crop dust Dallas & Atlanta (anywhere else necessary) with TKMR’s drug in a vapor mist form. Can we get an executive order for that?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  23. JPMorgains

    Eesh harsh Unc. But yes that’s fine.

    Just kidding (but seriously).

    I kinda like Austin though…oh well.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • UncleBuccs

      JP – sorry, it has to go

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
      • JPMorgains

        Coolio.

        On another tangent, I like the gent up there who blames Obama, haha.

        Those who know me, know that I have this thing I do, poking fun at those who think everything is all Obama’s fault.

        I like to specifically blame Obama for funny random shit, let me demonstrate;

        “Man this heat today is unbearable, THANKS ALOT OBAMA!!” Haha.

        It’s the little things that get me by…

        • 0
        • 0
        • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
        • ironbird

          The driver goes on right side of the bag. The Daffy Duck sleeve must be pointed forward.

          • 0
          • 0
          • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  24. UncleBuccs

    I’m still searching for something to help me escape this thing: Ebola virus disease: Potential use of melatonin as a treatment. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25262626

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Bruce Keller

      Well that is really ironic considering black people have a ton of melanin.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  25. Mr. Cain Thaler

    In a post Ebola world there are just two kinds of people. Those with guns, and those giving me their food.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  26. No One

    We’ll probably rally tomorrow.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  27. bonobo smores

    Ebola vaccine shots at Safeway in 3 months

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  28. matt_bear

    And the piggly wiggly.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  29. Cascadian

    One guy in Texas! Get a grip people!!!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  30. Zuul

    This might be the best headline ever written.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  31. danny1980

    Holy hell this thread is epic! Best comments ever…lmao

    Ebola=Italian Bowling Center

    I’m in Dallas you mean Ground Zero

    Lol

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  32. Sol

    fly, SOL is down at least 20% from where you bought last time and closer to 30% from your original entry, any exit plans??? – you said it was a massive position about a week ago, lookin for some guidance here

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      What sort of fucking funny math are you using?

      My original cost was 3.55 and then I bought lower. What world is that -30%?

      Thanks in advance.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  33. Kuru Temizleme Franchise

    I truly do trust the many suggestions you could have presented with your write-up. There’re extremely persuading and will certainly get the job done. Nonetheless, the blogposts are way too easy for starters. Might you you should expand these people a bit out of next time? Wanted post.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"