An Update From House Fly

I do these posts, every-so-often, in order to keep you heathens abreast with the ongoings of House Fly. As you all know, these posts are of utmost importance to provide you with a guideline to proper living, one of a gentleman and not some vagrant vagabond clad in cheap regalia.

For one, the summer is over and I am happy for it. There was a lot of gratuitous entertainment at my house and I’ve vowed to avoid drinking in public for the forseeable future. Also, living expenses are beyond stupid and this all has to stop sometime–might as well be now.

I’ve been hitting the gym fairly consistently, at least 3 times per week. I am on maintenance diet now and intend to bulk after Oct 31st, with a goal to gain 15 lbs. For those of you interested in unveiling who The Fly is at the investors conference in Vegas, just know that I will be heavily creatine’d up and would rather throw you off a balcony than permit you to out me. I will come with body doubles and will have other people wear watches and rings that look like the one’s I’ve worn in my stupid instagram photos. You will never catch me. Ever.

My business is booming, despite underperforming this year. You ponder how this is possible. Well, be patient son and I shall tell you. “The Fly” has a long storied history of outperformance and his clients trust him. I’ve raised considerable amounts of new money over the summer and have taken it upon myself to aggressively pursue the market with my own money.

I’ve thrown out my Keurig and now grind my own beans and use a French Press to serve myself coffee. I take it black (no homo) and generally despise sugar, unless of course it comes in the form of a cake–which I am  a sucker for, especially pie.

I’ve stopped watching movies, in exchange for teevee shows. Over the summer, I watched all of the Homeland, Suits, Hannibal, Ray Donavan, Masters of Sex and Fargo episodes and now find myself enjoying Hell on Wheels. I keep very late hours and sleep about 3-4 hours per night. Generally speaking, I crash on weekends, but have not done so in many weeks–thanks to a busy schedule.

I’m still reading a lot, with 5 books mid-way done at the side of my bed.  I’ve taken a particular interest in the olde Robber Barrons and have been reading about how the idiot Vanderbilts squandered a $300 billion (today’s money) fortune in just one generation.

As of this moment, I am growing a beard, going for the caveman look. Typically, I shave daily and dress very neatly, even when working from home. I find it to be distasteful to slog about the house dressed like an unemployed booze hound.

I bought myself a new tobacco pipe and have been smoking it once per week, maybe less. Wine consumption is at a minimum, as I value healthy living more than being a slob.

I’ve stopped listening to classical music, after two years of hard core fanaticism. In its place, I’ve delved into jazz, more Sinatra, and some foreign music that appeals to my inner anglo-saxon.

Lastly, I am working on five new projects, one with VINCENZO ILLUMINATI, creating the new PPT 5.0 (the previous 4 iterations have been withheld from the public), another with Howard Lindzon (it is amazing and will change the way you receive stock market news), another with Caine Thaler, another with an anonymous author of the heralded iBankCoin dictionary, and lastly The iBankCoin Investors Conference. I’ve secured two excellent speakers, aside from The Option Addict, and I know you will enjoy it.

 

NOTE: We’ve now made it possible to just purchase a VIP ticket. After considerable feedback, it seems many of you aren’t allowed to travel to Vegas alone (lolz) and require an extra ticket to VIP only so that your wives could monitor your movements–at all times.

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