Mixed Bag of Nuts

I started off 2014 by taking uppercuts to the scrotum. Immediately, I was down 2%, watching BALT and ANGI swoon like two drunk whores wearing high heels. Then, all of a sudden, lightening struck the New York Stock Exchange, electrifying some of my stocks–placing fire onto the faces of those betting against me.

At this very moment, I am incinerating short sellers in YY and RBCN. BALT is coming back and ANGI is still in the South of Bronx, drunk, wearing stilettos.

Chinese lotto stock, WBAI, is zooming higher, putting me in a rather good mood. Bear in mind, you, I don’t own any WBAI. However, it makes me happy to see such a degenerate stock trade up. I wonder what the people are thinking before they buy it. Look at MDBX. I wonder what those people are thinking too. I bet they are really stoned out, thinking marijuana will soon be retailed inside of high schools and other places of learning. Drugs should be legal of course, this way society can melt away into the oblivion of stark raving madness. Robberies and murder should be legal too of course, as it is the right of every human to take what they want–when they want it.

To sum things up: the market is weak, apparently due to “tax reasons,” according to the sages on CNBC. What said tax reasons on January 2nd are is totally beyond my pay grade–but apparently, it’s very true indeed. “The Fly” is now +0.6% for the day, erasing all of the bad memories of 1 hour ago.