ALL IN AGAIN ON $YELP

I get the sense YELP is going to smoke numbers this quarter. If you recall, I loaded up prior to last quarter’s numbers at $41, pared down some of the position to reduce exposure, locking in huge gains; but now it’s time to reload the proverbial boat again.

Indeud.

Over the past week, I’ve been a buyer of YELP’s shares and have completed my purchases today. Ultimately, YELP will be bought out or trade in the $100-200 price range. That has always been my opinion, even when the stock was $14. Go check the archives.

In short, I sold out of non-core names, SUNE and YY, and have added to a core position. I like to consider my non-core positions conduits that finance core position purchases.

At any rate, I’m still a little hesitant about the market, due to recent GOP developments. Hopefully, they opt for sanity over the way of the Palin.

In light of renewed republican stupidity, I sold out of SUNE and YY for 5% and 10% gains, respectively.

I am now fully invested, at just 100%.

David Tepper, hot shot hedge fund manager from the back of the Short Hills shopping mall in New Jersey, just made the case for higher stock prices, based upon a low interest rate environment. As we speak, congress is meeting to delay default until February. I am sure the Tea Party is strictly opposed to not defaulting, always opting for the ‘Santelli sanitization’ of ‘taking the band aid’ off now, as opposed to later.

I think the market is a straight shot higher, after we get past the debt ceiling issue. Naturally, there will be minor pullbacks and some stocks will underperform, based on bad earnings  and such. But, generally speaking, we should trade up.

All you have to do is not screw up. Diversify your holdings. Do not overweight in low brow gambling stocks and try to look at the bigger picture. I am talking macro, not micro. Where is the money going and why?

Going into the final months of the year, the consumer will be in focus. There is real opportunity for gains in retail, being that they’ve underperformed for so long. Also, heading into Thanksgiving, WFM and FWM look interesting. The point is, focus on a thesis and not just ticker symbols, like some sort of vagrant jackass whore.

I am sure most of you know the story by now. There was a glitch in the EBT card system that led to ‘unlimited’ spending limits, which led to an all out assault on the white owned corporation of Walmart. As you readily know, the Walmart family fortune is in excess of $115 billion, so don’t feel sorry for them at all. Instead, feel sorry for the people who felt they were getting over by stealing food and provisions from their community store. After the glitch was fixed, these sub-humans left their shopping carts, filled to the brim, with goods.

The net result was a horrible burden left upon the underpaid workers at Walmart to put everything back.

Gentlemen, the solution to the poverty problem is simple: RAISE their taxes. The more you make, the lower your tax rate. Reward success and penalize failure. And, most importantly, by no means should welfare be granted to able bodied men under the age of 65.

NOTE: Latest news from Washington suggests a debt ceiling deal is near.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU3w8AmUFj0

I’m rolling over these bears today, ripping out their large intestines with the wheels from my 1980’s style stretched limo. The truth is, I thought we’d default. I was so convinced of this eventuality I went to an oversized cash position and braced myself for the gloom. However, after seeing Secretary Lew’s amazing performance, chastising the republican idiots into chequemate, I knew the mood changed. As such, I re-committed myself towards the explicit task of basking in the Obama led Gilded era, where the middle class deteriorates into the mud and my calash speeds over them at frightening speeds.

Today’s lotto winners are found in the Chinese burrito sector, namely VISN. I was looking to speculate in that stock at $2.20; now that it’s above $8, I feel like I missed the boat, just a tad.

Look here, lady, I know you’re upset because the bull market marches on. You’d like to see the economy in shambles to justify your meager existence. But you’re going to have to wait for that, so be patient and keep your mood elevated.

Life is a game of chess and you’re playing video games.

Top picks: YY, YELP, TRLA

I really despise that statement: “back at the turret.” Don’t you? It’s a blanket insult to all men in the armed forces who’ve manned a turret before. My job is simply annoying, which is why I choose to ignore it sometimes. Those of you in the business know exactly what I speak of. It’s hard to be an over-achiever 365 days a year. Every so often, one fancies to do nothing but exercise and  listen to gangster rap music, while one’s wife becomes irate over the explicit content of such songs.

Look, the market is beyond annoying right now, fixed on every congressional press release, detached from reality. I’ve made my bed, long and leveraged at 130%, so I am lying in it.

That’s all there is to it.

Whether I will be proven right or wrong is immaterial. Of course I should be proven correct, since my bet is the high probability trade. I go with the percentages and this is my call. If you don’t like it, leave.

Oh, I hope you short sellers rather enjoyed today’s reversal.

Before I delve into the corruptness that is the US congress, I wanted to give you an update on my latest venture. Aside from the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC), “The Fly” has been working hard at the gym, learning and implementing strategies pertaining to the creation of muscle and brute strength, to be used at a later date–strictly for offensive measures only.

Thus far, my plans are working, swimmingly, as I’ve cut body fat down to 12%, while doubling strength. By 11/1/13, I intend to begin the “bulk phase” of my programme, which should last until May, at which point another “cutting” phase will commence through the summer. For those of you who are too lazy to figure this stuff out, just know, 70% of the effort is diet.

Back to the markets: Congress hasn’t done anything yet. Therefore, the markets are getting nervous, and so should you. The retard himself, Ted Cruz, has seized control of our government, like a cheap Mexican coup and has unleashed his policia on the populous (absolutely no racism in that statement!). Brace yourselves for the incredible, for these Palin “Tea Party” extremists mean to take down the nation, in order to rebuild it in the Lord’s vision.

A profound danger lies ahead for us stock market plungers. One could only hope for sanity to infect the small minds of the Congressional brain-trust, so that we, the small people of America, could go about our piddly lives banking millions of dollars off of speculative high beta Chinese accounting fraud trades.

Did I just say that? Something bad is going to happen, isn’t it!

A very common theme I’ve learned to understand is that people tend to gamble their own money like sailors, but prefer to be stewards of austerity when it comes to inheritance or gifts. They will buy Chinese burrito accounting scams in their own accounts on margin, but Disney for their stupid grandkids. If you really think about it, the exact opposite should occur, being that the stupid grandkids are considerably younger and have many years of earnings ahead.

Nevertheless, I understand the sentiment of wanting to gift the kids with something that will be around and can grow for an extended period of time.

There are several prerequisites one must apply when screening for these stocks, the first being dividends. Your choices MUST pay dividends. Do not force me to explain why; instead, why don’t you take my word for it? The second and third are minimum market cap of $1 billion and earnings per share profitability. Discard with the high beta money losers. After all, these securities are for your stupid grandkids.

Lastly, I like to screen for growth when I can. I’ve placed in a minimum growth metric of 15% for revenues and 5% for earnings. In addition, I’ve taken into consideration return on equity, a true measure of a companies vibrancy.

Here are my picks and this is my screen.

QCOM

AMT

INTU

EMN

WLP

ETN

IACI

BX

MTB

BKH

This was designed to be implemented as a portfolio, not singular picks. I’ve found, in my many years of experience, managing money professionally, that having the larger picture in mind is always preferred to the degeneracy of the short lived piker day trader bastard.

I closed the day +1.2%, leveraged at 130% of assets, smoking my pipe filled with the remains of my enemies.

I am not required to say anything else; therefore, I will not.

Good day.