iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,455 Blog Posts

Make a Bigger Phone, Bozo

I know Carl Icahn is going to push for AAPL to borrow hundreds of billions to buy back their own shares, creating the illusion of stronger earnings through lesser shares. After the company burns through its cash, magically, the share price will be $700, using the same multiple and earnings growth that currently exists. However, you and I both know this doesn’t fix the structural issues at Apple. I can’t believe I just said that.

BUILD A BIGGER PHONE, MR. COOK.

You stupid bastard. The people demand a larger phone because they like shiny things. Your phones are starting to look like laughable toys, compared to the Galaxy. If it wasn’t for the fact that I own 3,000 songs, I’d make the switch too.

Under your leadership, Apple has done nothing exciting. Where’s the god damned teevee?

Hopefully Carl will oust Cook and get the shares going again.

Egypt is killing protesters now. I am bullish on them building more pyramids and optimistic about paying taxes, so that we can give them a few billion dollars in aid per year.

I am up slightly this morning and might make one or two purchases before heading out.

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7 comments

  1. You Forgot

    (no pharaoh)

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  2. Ray Donovan

    thoughts on CREE?

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  3. Jules

    We want the teevee!

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  4. Freebie

    Try using an Android phone for a weekend. You’ll likely want to go back to an iPhone. The bigger screen is coming, and they will dominate once it does.

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  5. bobbin4apples

    Coal sector looks like it wants to come back from the brink of death…

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  6. lol

    Maybe they can build the next pyramids out of metal alloys and go to work 3-d printing them all over the world.

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