iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

INTERMISSION: Marriage Tips, When Chit-Chatting With the Wife

STOP TRADING!

I’d like to take this intermission in market activity to offer some incredible marriage tips. As some of you know, I’ve passed along excellent jewels in the past, helping those of you with retarded marriages enjoy longevity. Today’s subject pertains to discourse and how to allow your wife to “feel appreciated” for her labor.

Borrowing a phrase from a gentleman of the cinema, all of you should address your wives as “friendo.” It has a rather nice ring to it, expressing congeniality, in a whimsically playful way. More often than not, your mate will offer sexual advances for using this word properly.

Let me offer a few examples.

(puffs from cigar) “Why don’t you get me another glass of scotch (puffs cigar three times and exhales donuts into the air) friendo.”

(excited) “Good news, friendo, I am going out golfing with the boys.”

(tosses a steak onto the counter) Cook that for me, would you, (pause) friendo.”

“Please, refrain from talking to me during market hours (takes sip of wine from glass) friendo.”

“Shall we meet each other say around noon for a little afternoon sex, friendo?”

(pointing to the television) Do you see this, friendo? Don’t change the channel, as I need to relive myself in the lavatory this instant.”

“Please iron my shirt (extra pause) friendo.”

You’re welcome.

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26 comments

  1. clegger_2000

    Ah the ol’ “nooner”! 🙂

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  2. mrkcbill

    Hilarious Senor, was cracking up reading Twitter last night.

    There will be blood.

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  3. samiam

    What’s wrong with “shortie”

    or if you’re feeling a little frisky “yo bitch”?

    You posted this shit last night on twitter by the way.

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  4. UncleBuccs

    ‘Friendo’ is almost as unseemly as fathers addressing their young sons as ‘buddy’…

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  5. MFalke

    I like the condescending-yet-gentlemanly tone of “friendo.”

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  6. Sooz

    “Heads or Tails”, Friendo..

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  7. acehood

    The talks or phone calls during market hours are brutal.

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  8. JTU

    Asset managers are on an uptrend.
    BLK, WETF, BX

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  9. JTU

    Fly, what do you think pof the refiners here? Most of them have been downgraded on concerns they will have a hard time meeting federal renewable fuels requirements.

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  10. acehood

    FLY you liquidating shit today en masse or did I misread that last missive?

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  11. the Bull

    Too close to Fredo. I’m afraid it may be misconstrued, dangerous I must say sir.

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  12. Mike

    Friendo huh??? I’ll try that tonight..after all..Fly has never mislead me

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  13. Zenhunter

    I prefer the direct approach, “Wow! You’ve gorgeous…(fill in the blank)!”

    Work every time!

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  14. ROB CARL

    I just use the C word every time.

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  15. JTU

    Wow! EXK giving back half of yesterday’s 12% gains!

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  16. figesmalls

    With all due respect Senor…Pal hasn’t failed me yet.

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  17. noodleboy

    This seems to be very valid psychology

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  18. MX2101

    Here’s my latest:
    “you’re holding up pretty well; for your age”

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  19. JCraddock1

    “why dont u go make me some chocolate milk… friendo”

    *Bitch still sittin on the couch

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