iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

Don’t Worry, Santa Claus Has Guns

We’re down 6% since October. I would not be surprised to see the market fall some more, before November is done. But even during the very worst markets, December has served as a respite, an elixir for the malnourished, through outsized gains and superficial, careless risk assessment. No one gives a shit in December because Santa Claus packs a street cannon and everyone is drunk as shit.

Trading desks are manned by small boys, amateurs who are afraid to do anything that might upset older, stronger, men.

Here are the returns for the month of December, since 1993.

74% of the time, we trade higher. I see no reason why this trend can’t continue. Granted, the fiscal cliff offers absurd uncertainty, a truly homemade crisis being thrusted upon us by drug addled, sex crazed, perverts. The pain is halfway done, members from the internet. Close your eyes and WAKE UP in December, for joy and splendour awaits you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLddJ1WceHQ

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26 comments

  1. ecchymosis

    Good – I hope Santa brings me this
    http://www.remington.com/product-families/firearms/shotgun-families/pump-action-model-870.aspx

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  2. Heisenberg

    74%.. I like those odds but seeing how Petraeus has been replaced with Constanza the last week… hmmm

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  3. Bottle Rocket

    Thanksgiving is back!

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  4. The Eye-Talian Stallion
    The Eye-Talian Stallion

    Great stats. Look at the election years. Average -1.7% after the election to the new year.

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  5. Goose

    In my experience, trading desks are staffed with ornery women.

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    • zzzdoc

      I want a job like that!!

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    • Heaterman

      50+ year old ornery womens. The kind that think they know everything and are still good looking but well on the downward path to sagwrinkle city.

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  6. inandout

    Going by patterns alone at glance it looks like we are sometime in May 2012 here, which could set us up for a Santa rally if we contiue to follow a similar pattern. I won’t be trading next month, but good luck to all.

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  7. Clock

    please Santa…one of these for Xmas… http://tinyurl.com/cn8fwvk

    …thank you in advance Santa 😀

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  8. The Plumbers Crack
    The Plumbers Crack

    The piss mints and I would like to thank you for the December info.
    Indeud.

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  9. Freebie

    I hope you are right but with long-term capital gains taxes increasing this December is the last chance to sell. we might not be in the 74%

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  10. JTU

    That sounds great! We’re down 6% since October but we have an average of 1.47% gain to look forward to in December?

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  11. tmt

    been a tough week but 20 samples? major lolfactory, too low to bet on needs hundreds to matter. Also no correlation. plus, unless, u gonna buy dec 1 hold to dec 31 means nothig

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  12. fake amish

    Is Hostess a tell? The evil so-called wealthy peeps just left that casino.

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  13. _srd4_

    reverse conversion gibberish I don’t normally pay attention to either – however, willie7 or something on yahoo has some interesting data – tonight AH volume 500k – odd – no?

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  14. razorsedge

    looks like hostess ran out of dough,

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  15. gravestonedoji

    $VHC MOAR

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  16. rolling adjustable work table

    I feel similar internet business lovers should start thinking about this amazing site as an example. Highly clean and user-friendly style and design, including impressive information! You’re experienced with regard to this particular issue 🙂

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