iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,428 Blog Posts

HOT TEA IN YOUR FUCKING FACE

The AAPL has been dislodged from the markets throat, allowing stocks to fucking rip tits higher. Many of you are stuck in FAZmobiles, in flames, heading uncontrollably for ravines. I am only grateful for not selling, holding my positions during the darkest of hours. But now things are different, aren’t they? You’ve been dispatched, Sir. Bernanke has imprisoned you, tightly restricted inside of his clam.

All of the short squeezes I mentioned are blowtorching higher. Now you can try to fight this all you want, professing the grave dangers of Europe and a weak US jobs market. But at the end of the day, you get hot tea tossed into your fucking face, coked out horses kicking you in the fucking chest, hit by printing presses while you’re sleeping, killed over and over again.

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22 comments

  1. OG

    I’m starting to hate my ZNGA. Just keep talking about how much money they’re going to spend…

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  2. charlie

    REVERSE BEAR TRAP. My favorite.

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  3. acehood

    thought this was about being long $TEA

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  4. David E

    I hope you know I died laughing for about 15 minutes just by reading the title of this. Short squeezers have been fucking up my PCLN call positions and I think that should be noted.

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  5. DJMarcus

    stay schemin rick ross is pretty good song too

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  6. dishobgyn

    I want my WNR to YELP

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  7. moolahheaven

    Get em Fly!

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  8. MTP31

    Fly you wanted to sell yesterday now you can at much better prices… but you won’t and we will tank and you be very pissed off..

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  9. pgwarner

    Low volume short squeeze. Whats new?

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  10. drummerboy

    i’ll take iced tea……today was a good day, thanks dltr.

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  11. HalfBloodPope

    LMAO at “hit by printing presses while you’re* sleeping”

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  12. asteroids

    I made profit yesterday and went to cash. Am looking to short again in a few days.

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    • asteroids

      Fucking computers are at play today sucking in long and shorts. It’s a meat grinder. I refuse to play.

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  13. 88888s Account

    Don’t miss this prime chance to bail though – despite the emboldened mood

    Muppet rally

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  14. Jason

    Hilarious post as usual. Hot tea in your fucking face – badass gentleman. Great descriptor for what it feels like when you get short-squeezed. Just sizzling away feeling like a giant rube.

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