The year was 2023 and “The Fly” was under severe cannon fire from his neighbors “across the way.” They’ve been vollying back and forth for weeks over the “disputed” rice paddies. It was 10 years since the American dream collapsed on the brains of those who protected it. Since then, the power apparatus in America transformed from government into local sects, where warlords ruled with Iron Fists for cheap labor, land and resources.
In NYC, “The Fly” was one of the chief financiers of manufacturing “poisonous as fuck” toys for China, as retribution for the hardship the Chinese inflicted on America after the collapse. Immediately following the collapse of America, China invaded Hawaii and turned the entire island into a FOXCONN slave factory, where local businessmen were forced to make iPAD ripoffs for the Chinese elite and demeaning fortune cookies that read “America will no ronger be arive, har, har, har.” With America out of the way, the Chinese captured Taiwan, South Korea and England, mainly for shit and giggles. They imposed harsh language laws in all of the lands they conquered, forcing its citizens to speak Chinese or get summarily tossed into FOXCONN prison factories at London.
The world was a dark, dark place, filled with wonton surprises and bombs hidden inside Jack in the Boxes, which was The Fly’s “top seller.”
The savage reality of life without order turned The Fly into a stark raving lunatic, developing “weapons of humor,” aimed to maim deviants inside China proper. His Jack in the Boxes were toys geared towards adult males. He did this by making them X-Rated. His Jack in the Boxes would blow up inside of 10 seconds, after a big titted naked doll, depicting an American woman, popped out and said “Foxy for FOXCONN”, all provocatively and shit. For years the Chinese ate it up, until they started blowing their dicks off.
Back in NYC, Fly was busy protecting his carrot harvest, whilst maintaining his blog “IUSEDTOBANKCOINNOWIJUSTKILLPEOPLE.com. Traffic was at an all-time high, despite the chaos. Replacing The PPT was a new algorithm that was able to time a “ten spot” casualty report with 6 hours of predictive accuracy (in 2023, a “ten spot” meant 10,000 killed).
Oddly enough, The Fly nailed the collapse of America, having all of his assets in VXX during the collapse. He bought it at $11 and rode it all the way up to 2,000 per share, until the collapse hit in full stride. As irony would have it, the finality of the collapse also coincided with the death of volatility. One day VXX was trading at 2,000, the next ZERO. As you could imagine, this drove his madness to new heights, paving the way for his new career as carrot farmer and “toy manufacturer extraordinaire” as he liked to call it.
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One down day and this nut case starts to loose it..?
“Loose” bomb toys upon your countrymen, you mean?
There’s no hiding on this blog, General Li.
_________
I’m coming for ya Li.
You can fucking bet on it.
I can’t take it anymore!!!!! If one more dumbass mother fucking stupid shithead preschool kindergarten fuckwad shitforbrains crapsucking dickfuckwad misspells “LOSE” again on these damn internets boards I will fucking LOOOOOOSE IT!!!!!!!!!
I think it should be “hal, hal, hal”. I like the X-rated toys though.
I said to take TWO, not the whole bottle, dammit!
___________
How’s the summer lacrosse going?
Any chance you might blog an opine on the state of the PM miners in between games 🙂
Possibly.
++++++++
6 weeks makes a nutcase
Hardest laugh I’ve had all day. Nice one, Senor Carrotfarmer (nee Tropicana).
Poisoness (sic)
That’s like a female poisoner.
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You had a good run Fly….nay, an excellent run. Like the proverbial 10,000 Monkey’s producing shakespeare’s greatest works, you strapped in and rode the markets randomness like you were in a finely tuned time machine.
Twas a sight to behold.
It’s funny because it’s true.
Fabulous!
It must be nice having a time machine and all that. Carrot farmer mine tuckus. I’m guessing would be farming genetically modified brussel sprouts that become poisoness [sic] only when cooked in a wok, and then sell them to the Red Army.
I’ll still be able to get venture capital money to live my lifestyle in such a future.
Shit. That was supposed to be posted under the name “LindzonLifestyle.”
Lol
Shit, why did I sell my SKF?
When did carrots get so interesting? Why would China want England? Epic post Fly.
I seriously peed my pants, thanks for the laugh, Fly.
get a diaper
Several times this year I’ve toyed with the idea that, if it’s indeud a crapshoot, I’d be just as well off liquidating everything and betting it all at 2:1 on red or black. Or dividing it into 36 portions and placing 36 consecutive bets on a single number. Same odds no matter which bet I play, but it’d be over with – one way or the other – a hell of a lot faster than this slow grind and chop.
In the end, the only reason I play this game instead of Roulette is that I’m not guaranteed a 5% loss per spin of the wheel.
Then play poker. Same difference. You can become a master at poker and make money. I have, but I find it’s not worth my time because I only make a small amount over the long run, and the mixture of overconfidence followed by downswings are just the same as the market. But poker the elite play for millions, stocks are played with trillions, and stocks at least have the possibility for more passive forms of wealth building.
Buffett is the icon of stocks, Doyle Brunson is the icon of poker. Both make money every single year. If you are a trader, the “Rake” is the same as brokerage fees. It’s a “zero sum game” but in reality both are “negative sum” when you account for fees and expenses and time
Either way, there are losers and winners and the house always wins (mutual funds, insiders, selling shareholders going public, and brokerage houses).
If you feel like you’re losing or breaking even you have to find a way to develop an edge over EVERYONE else.
“Organized common or uncommon sense is a powerful tool. People with computers calculate too much and think to little. Very basic knowledge is a very powerful tool. Remembering everything is not useful. Charlie does not know anyone that is successful that does not read a lot.
The point is, knowledge is power.
Spend each day trying to be wiser than when you woke up. Slug it out day by day. In the long run you will get what you deserve. This is the secret to success.”
Your blog is reading more and more like a Family Guy script. Endless chains of random phrases stuck together like madlibs. Plus everyone knows that NYC soil is too acidic to farm carrots. That’s where you lose me.
After the great war of 2018, NYC soil was evenly balanced. Hence the carrot farms
Purple Haze carrots I trust. Get some for the kiddies.
Where do I begin? Hilarious.
Did everyone start calling The Fly “Lil’Buddy” in the future, telling him that “everything was going to be OK” after he lost it all in the VXX trade?
Is 2023 before or after the successful annexation/enslavement of Canada to ensure hard asset supplies?
You mean we aren’t slaves yet?
Much more disturbing to read shit here, then watch lame Dawn of the dead reruns on SyFyHD.
I’d read that new blog. Anyone interested in a good read (besides this site) that exists in the current decade, check out “Kill Your Friends” by John Niven. Dark humor at its finest.
bravo
Few indicators are as telling as mutual fund cash levels, or the “cash-to-assets ratio.” This monthly indicator shows the average mutual fund’s level of cash and cash equivalents as a percentage of its assets.
When the major stock indexes stand at or near a long-term high, mutual fund cash levels are low. By way of example, the long-term peaks in 1937, 1966, 2000 and 2007 have an average cash-to-assets ratio of 4.18%.
Conversely, when the stock market is at or near a long-term low, mutual fund cash levels are high. The long-term price lows in 1932, 1942, 1982 and 2009 have an average cash-to-assets ratio of 10%.
In other words, the average mutual fund will have more than twice as much cash on hand at a major low than at a major high. And as the range of dates above suggests, this behavior has been conspicuously consistent for many decades.
So let’s turn to the all-too-obvious question: Where does the mutual fund cash-to-assets ratio stand TODAY?
The ratio stands in a place it has never been before — at 3.4%. That’s an all-time record low. But note well: While this extreme may stand alone among cash-to-asset readings, it is NOT alone among other indicators that also show historic extremes.
Dividend yields tell a very similar story, gleaned from a wealth of data across many decades of stock market history: Yields have fallen to a record low — something you see only at long-term peaks.
Leverage among hedge funds has climbed to the highest level since November 2007 (one month after the all-time high in the Dow Industrials).
Central banks around the world are expanding their gold reserves for the first time in a generation (yes, that is possibly a contrary indicator).
Home prices have fallen farther than anyone has seen in their adult lifetime.
Risk appetite has turned to risk aversion, and this turn manifests itself in many ways.
The remarkable thing about quitters is, they quit. I hope any surviving species of Fly is endowed with at least a modicum of literary skill. If not, I hope his cadre of third grade dropouts flourishes in the dominion of Neighbor Steve.
Buddha bless China.
Banned
I wish I had young kids, ’cause that’s a great bedtime story!
Wow, that was a good laugh!
Damn – and I’m just about to start remodeling my bathroom too – let the madness commence
The market is down 6% from its highs. Why is everyone acting like this is the Great Depression?
Exactly.
We’re going to get those bitches.
WARNING: FULL BANS ARE BEING HANDED OUT LIBERALLY TONIGHT
Has anyone noticed that great talkers.. are just great talkers. The guy that shows what he has by working hard and letting his work do the talking wins.
No one notices that, particularly when conversing on a blog, which the requisite demand for interaction is simply irresistible.
taiwan was just reclaimed
soutkorea was given to the north as a gift
and england was most definity just repoed
Anybody who misbehaves and dares to give Sr. Tropicanna any advice or lip whatsoever will be, can I say it ? “Weinered”! (ahem, perhaps this should be added to the ibc dictionary)
Woodshedder has the WEINER CASTRATION DEVICE, ready and loaded. Any offenders will be sent to the gallows, where Woodshedder will cut their cocks off.
It’s a dirty damn job … but, someone’s gotta do it !
YUK !!!
.
What if one doesn’t have a cock?
Speaking of COCKLESS, what happened to the Vancouver Canucks tonight?
8-1 victory by Boston a little payback for a cheap hit on Horton.
Then you already have a Weiner Castration device, built in.
Yes, I call it HUMA BREITBART, for short.
Isn’t Wood handsome?
ABIG
(Andrew Breitbart is…)
da flea at his finest … penning freestyle
A fine read as always Fly!
Just reading over the Fly blog from last June…hilarious…what ever happened to Purdy?
Was he actually Weiner?
I murdered Purdy with my speedboat. Don’t tell anyone.
Watch as the Fly channels his inner Nathan Lane to beat the market into submission.
BREAKING NEWS: I just coined the phrase “GREATER DEPRESSION”
As you were.
I just figured out that Obama will be re-elected and the Dems will take back Congress. It just hit me. Most Republicans are so very insulting to anyone who disagrees with them on even one minor issue, that no one who is not already in their camp, will ever join their camp. No one is persuaded by insults– I mean, real insults, not playful ones like Fly’s. They are setting their party on fire.
I don’t love the Dems. I hope for a third party, because both major parties have failed us. I will be freaked out by how much power the Dems are going to accumulate now, unless we get a strong third party soon. The Dems are fully as dangerous as the Repubs, even though they are not as insulting. They kill you with kindness rather than meanness.
I don’t mean the Tea Party for our third party, because I don’t see them as being realistic. They expect to have their cake and eat it too– just like most other Americans.
We may be in a down market for a few months so Ben can scare everyone into begging for QE 3. But after that, Ben will be pumping like mad, which will help the economy and the Dems temporarily, for a few years, and the market is going to a million during that time.
If Ben does Qe3, the only stocks that will be rallying will be energy stocks. Gas would surge higher, slamming retail and discretionary stocks.
And, even if he did do it, It wouldn’t be enough to reverse this unemployment trend.
The last Qe was a failure for housing prices and unemployment. How in the hell would Qe3 cause enough of a surge in Housing/employment to get Obama re-elected?
I mean, without sending Gas to 7$, and alienating 90% of the voter base?
He has no bailouts or political capital left. His last gasp was this 50 billion dollar monorail pipe dream. Thing doesn’t even have a chance of being shovel ready by November 2012. Expect him to spend alot of time at the golf course over the next year. He’s basically giving up at this point, which is wise to do.
Personally, I don’t care for the right or the left. And libertarians creep me out. They remind me of carnies, except louder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlSKaDzbQN0
QE takes some time to get into the system and do things. There is plenty of time now to crash oil and food and other commodities to such low prices that it will take them a year to go back up to where they are now. Say e.g. they take until November 2011 to do this. Then after this is done, the stock market rises, but people are scared to get back into commodities because they fell more than stocks did. The stock market rises for a whole year until November 2012, during which time people who get rich from stocks go and spend the money on houses and on starting businesses and hiring people. All the newly rich folks and newly employed folks sing the praises of Obama, and he gets his second term.
Wanta start a 3rd party, PanamaOrange?
Pour vous M. Gruellle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1vH2rjUshk
Too much vino – should be M. Grenouille
Frog
Dude, you remind me of those callers to live radio… we in Australia call them “Hi Alans”..
As in
“Hi Alan, this Dave from Dakoda. I have to tell you Alan that I’m a life long GOP supporter but since they’ve been in power, they have become really arrogant and I won’t be voting for them. I don’t like the Dems but I may have to give my vote to them as there’s no third party alternative seeing the Tea party doesn’t grip me that much”.
Lifelong GOP supporters will stay in the GOP. But there weren’t enough of them to elect McCain and there won’t be enough of them to elect the next Repub. pres. candidate. No one will join the Repub party who isn’t in it already, is what I am saying.
The Dems promise to help the little guy, and they will a bit, as employment will tick up once QE finally works its way into the economy.
The bankers own Obama and love him; he always does their bidding. So the banks will crash any commodity that will get O re-elected, & then they will run the stock market up for the same reason. You mark my words.
The banks no longer like the Repubs much, as the Tea Party and the libertarians might want to audit the Fed and such things. The Dems pretend to be for the little guy, get their vote, and then sell them out to the TBTF banks. It worked in 2008 and it will work again– with lots more help from the banks this time, as they love Obama more and more, now thta they’ve seen him in action.
Thanks Fly for the “grande’ lesson..the market ain’t that easy.
Damn!