In light of the recent string of government poker website seizures,with the assistance of certain shadowy figures, I’ve concocted a 5 part plan to ELIMINATE the national debt.
Part 1:
SEIZE ALL ASSETS OF OIL COMPANIES. Their money will be put to great use in the PUBLIC sector.
Part 2:
SEIZE ALL ASSETS OF THE INVESTMENT BANKS, LARGE AND SMALL. Their criminal ways have come to an end.
Part 3:
SEIZE ALL ASSETS OF DOMESTIC COMPANIES DOING BUSINESS IN CHINA. The Chinese are evil, communist bastards. Can you smell the irony?
Part 4:
SEIZE ALL CASH RESERVES OF SLIMY TECH COMPANIES. Their cash is now our cash.
Part 5:
RAISE TAXES ON THE RICH. From here on, the “rich” will be defined as anyone who owns a car or a bicycle.
This message was paid for by IVAN STALIN, Great, Great Grandson of that Russian fucker who fucked up the Germans.
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no pain…….NO PAAAIIIINNNNN
He’s not a machine he’s a man!
Mr. Fly, you have the gift of the written mind.
Funny. Senator Rand Paul ads are showing up on this post.
Seize Rand Paul as well!
Seize him!
Seeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiize hiiiim!!
________
Fly for prez!
Isn’t that just a repeat of Obama’s implicit plan to balance the budget?
Obama used different verbs, but, yeah.
______
His verbs come from opposite world
Respectfully I would offer the following suggestion: If the US were a company we would sell assets and further, assets that would fetch a strong price. Therefore the US should unload something that would represent a “must have” asset as soon as it was put on the market. i suggest Hawaii. I am certain China would pay between one and three trillion for it. Heck throw in some of those other islands that we own as well. Just as Nixon was the only president who could go to China, Obama is the only one who could sell Hawaii.
If we need a bit more the US Virgin Islands are pretty but the people have an attitude problem – unload that as well.
OK, Hawaii for 2.5 trillion and we throw in Detroit for free
Detroit for free !! Love it !!!!! ROFL
Detroit’s like a liability.
It’d be like an assumption of debt.
That said, those Red Chinee could really straighten Detroit out in a heartbeat.
Union?? You want union? Get back in assembry rine befoah I halvest UDDER kidney!
ROFL!!
Funny enough, just last night I was daydreaming on my commute about how cool it would be if Alberta separated (keeping an extra 15 billion per year in “equalization transfer payments” for itself. Once sovereign, all oil and gas royalty proceeds (also about 15 billion per year which incidentally roughly equals the NASA annual budget) would go into the Alberta space program who’s end goal is a colony on Mars for Albertan citizens. One thing Alberta would need to buy is a near equitorial colony both as an escape from the shitty weather and a launch site. I was thinking have some crappy third world country clear away a few tens of square miles of inhabitants, and ta-da, it’s Alberta’s other province (other than the planet Mars). Since the US is quickly turning into a crappy third world country, it would do nicely. Call it $100 billion for a Hawaiian island and its a deal. Now I just need to form a political party, get elected, and buy Kauai. It would be an Atlas shrugged kind of place where Americans are welcome too (but only the intelligent, productive, wealthy, and attractive need apply).
I vote we call it Medicine Hat.
I like it!
Respectfully, your plan is a better idea than you joke. Hawaii will be a trash dump for years from the vast tsunami debris field. The USA can no longer be an imperialist nation.
Sell California too.
Hell sell them a couple major cities. Have Canada throw in Toronto too. 90% orient populations anyhow.
Toronto is worth keeping and anyway, Canada isn’t insolvent.
Ontario debt per capita is higher than Greece. Hell yeah, throw in Toronto.
Income per capita makes the picture slightly better for Ontario…
YES!!! Eat the Rich! We shall over come. Kumbayah… yes we can…. umm, bla bla bla.
Actually, number 5 makes a lot of sense.
The real mover is the estate tax. Die today, with Bush taxes, and you (probably) don’t have to worry at $ 5 million. If the Democrats have their 2012 way, they’ll steal all “true”, “traditional”, LAND owning American’s property. Think of the children, distant relatives who won’t have hundreds of thousands and millions to foot huge estate taxes. Whilst Sir Fly and you all offer fine commentary, I hope you all understand how ruthless a “land” grab that party has in mind. There’s a huge veiled tax threat, the “credits/deductions” are a red herring. It’s mass phase out, take a look at the ObamaCare medical directives. They all but “off” senior citizns instead of providing prudent care as generational wealth’s redistributed from apple-pie America to an urban McDonald’s near you.
You sir are most certainly not blind. In fact you have sight beyond sight.
Cant we just sell all these fat women driving around in SUVs, if we do it by the pound we’ll be out of debt in no time. Maybe the Africans will buy them
The best solution for them is to maintain trillion dollar deficits. Then they’ll lose the SUV’s and have to pick berries and shit to feed themselves. It’ll tone them up nicely. What’s better; “She-Wolves of the Wasteland”, or “Idiocracy”?
Sumfin they could whoop with a car antenna ?
Try and spot me in this video:
http://youtu.be/M9K47vh2_J0
If it’s seizures we want, II say we flash a bunch of lights at epileptics causing them to seizure… you know… that way they do the governments work for them
just as effectively, I might add
Shit I have two bicycles ,Guess I ought to transfer one into someone else’s name asap.
… and love your burgers
Timothy’s Italian roast has a flavor not quite as “earthy” as Tully’s and a smoother, almost sweet finish.
Good stuff.
All in due time Ivan my boy, all in due time. The Bernanks of the world, not USA only, are about to the point where those are the only options remaining.
if you had a currency printing machine and everyone paid taxes to you in the currency you printed. Your economy was operating at 75% of it’s capicty. You might print more money and put it straight into the struggling economy, after all there is no inflation and you don’t need to really borrow money because you have a printing machine.
If you get your economy closer to 100% you would at that point raise taxes and reduce your spending to reduce inflation.
You do’nt need to sell anything you are not a company or a household, you are the sole operator and controler of the money machine, you need to manage the supply and allocation of your money.
Ha! Now you’re thinking like a true dictator.
Many good suggestions, especially Jake’s idea of putting the Chinese in charge of the unions.
The Chinese wouldn’t touch Detroit.
Detroit has more guns than the entire flippin’ Chinese Red Army……….On second thought….turn ’em loose!!! It might just eliminate two problems at once.
Actually, the best thing is for the U.S. to give up on the Empire, pull all our troops back home, and tell the Chinese we ain’t selling them no more Cokes to wee-wee in.
Now you’re talking…let the Chinese save the oil…we will just sit back and watch the carnage
The globe would suddenly look a lot different. Remember how pissed off the Tibetans felt when the Chinese rolled in, raped and tortured everybody, made little kids shoot their parents, etc.? Well I’m just guessing, but there would be a lot more of that if the US became completely isolationist.
no dictator it’s how the monetry system works in free floating fiat
Even if bicycles are taxable, unicycles are still gay
“I am leaving it as I found it. Take over. It’s yours.”