“The Ultimate Short Squeeze” is setting upon you. Homeless guys sitting on lawn chairs, trading on margin from blackberries, will force you out of your stupid 3x inverse ETFs, rendering your privileged education worthless—yet again. Men in green leotards and velcro hats will die, amidst a flurry of egregious buy orders, all courtesy of The Bearded Clam, aka Benjamin Bernanke.
You may take today’s 2 point loss in the Dow Industrial Averages to the bank. You may cash in all of your apocalyptic bets, even though you have the faintest idea what you are doing. You can talk shit on twitter all day long, predicting the return of the Four Horsemen, starvation and pestilence. People will think you have a great brain. They will clamor your predictions and sign up for your asshole services. HOWARD LINDZON will proclaim your greatness and offer you a blog. In general, you will be regarded as “a great man.”
You will enjoy newsletter success and go on lavish vacations, to beautiful islands, drinking pina coladas and eating shrimps. lobster, and foie gras. You will rest near the ocean, without a care in the world, just sort of taking in the sun, the breeze and the views. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant clam will swallow you whole, before slinking back into the ocean.
No one will ever talk about you again.
Top picks: TEX, BORN, PH
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Never drank BORN whiskey, but I hope it is good.
I disagree. Fear is in the air
Not enough fear is in the air yet.
Stay out of the cornfields, lest ye be threshed.
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Ok I like this post
“Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant clam will swallow you whole, before slinking back into the ocean.
No one will ever talk about you again.”
Sounds pretty sexy!
You should write children’s books! My kids love stories like this. Giant clams, hobo’s, fairies in leotards getting whacked…good stuff.
Certainly, it’s a Grimme tale.
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This was one of the best posts yet. Now can I sign up as a tabbed blogger so that can happen to me?
people say that everyday. Recognize who you are talking to.
Excellent NLP on the clam attack! CHOMP!
Disclosure: Long NLP
That message should be put a fortune cookie and served to Jake with clam bisque and crackers.
Tsk, tsk. You were rational at one point. Too much CNBC?
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One can never get too much CNBC.
LOL!!
Gosh. I can feel the sun basking on my face as we speak!
The “Clam effect” is fading and so are stocks.
Fly, U move too fast for me to keep track. I thought U were 40% in cash.
I am 30% cash now.
But maybe it’s one of these instances:
http://www.wavsource.com/snds_2011-01-09_1004796414058853/movies/airplane/no_search_lights.wav
Big talk from a man with a 40% cash position.
You forgot to say “and drive around South Florida in your new Tesla”…
He will end up driving to Florida with his FAZmobile.
The Fly is absolutely correct!
All you bearshitters will feel pain, yet again – hope you enjoyed your two days of “feeling smart”.
Long live Ben Bernanke…
My comment is being moderated…. must have been the part where I said The Fly is correct.
Possibly because you failed to state, hedonism is holy. Yet with all the promises of rubies and riches there is no suggestion regarding the increasing odds in favor of getting laid. Perhaps someone wearing a white shoulder drape could set the odds for or against.
Huh?
Lol!
A giant clam will swallow you whole. LMAO
I hope the clam takes me deep under the sea.
And then SpongeBob and Patrick go fishing near near their Pineapple House in Bikini Bottom and the clam is caught and I am rescued.
Then I get to go the Krusty Krab and get some Krabbe Patties with coral bits and Kelp Rings.
The burger will of course have barnacle shavings.
And then I will live happily thereafter.
too much beer today at the chinese buffet TC?
Good one.
Actually, it was clam juice.
with some tomato juice and vodka, good for the soul and cleaning skunked dogs too!
Clearly you have the great-grandkids over quite a bit.
I sold my hedges mid-day, cept my “disaster hedges”. I made a tidy profit on the inverses, and then caught the ride back up to finish the day in the green.
Pretty impressive feat considering the vast amounts of EWZ and FXI i’m holding.
Sounds like we were on the same wavenlength there Huggie. I bought EDZ right before the close on Wednesday and sold it right when EEM bounced off the 50-day, within a few pennies of HOD. Stayed in my ANR short a little too long so covered it for a small gain instead of the much bigger gain from earlier in the day, oh well. But seeing how it turned on a dime I said WTF and went long in the name. We shall see how that turns out, but I’m thinking unless the overall market continues to sell off there is a good chance for a gap fill to $64.
Not enough fear is in the air, obviously.
And the bigs are not done distributing to the guys outside the Dunkin’ Donuts, with the throwaway Blackberries.
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We are not done going down just yet.
great post fly… all those johnny come retards are gonna get squeezed if not tmrw then over the weekend during magical low-vol-ramp sunday’s. after this though i am leaning bear-shitter for a while.
Is BORN a chinese lotto play ??? Why BORN
I know this tale to be one of non-fiction. Enjoy being in the belly of a stinking, fucking clam bearshitter! Out.
jesus christ fly, you must be talking about james altucher in this post.
Reminds me of this old song here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l1GvDWtccI
Something fishy about your taste in music. Some lovely acquatic puns in there!
For being in sell off mode, I made a shit load of coin today.
“The BORN Identity”?
The visceral imagery has left me in a state similar to the one after watching “Jaws”. I am never going close to a frikkin ocean. Damn you, Senor Tropicana!
The prophet Jonah deja vu or what
I release CNR on the bears… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLnapb-30hA&ob=av3el
switched from short to sorta long SBUX (via options) I also hedged and cashed out of some of my short plays today. I am mildly more short term bullish. If and when we get to new highs on the SPY I will get short again immediately AMT, maybe BIDU, DAL, NKE…
How about a Yankee Lottery Ticket like AGNC or CIM ?
Monsieur Fly, that was not a homeless at the Dunkin Donuts. It was either Fitty or Chapelle.
One is tall, the other short. They got a couple mil. Here’s a sample of how they got it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PlYJlCk-7A
Whatever happened to Le Duc?
Great mental imagery, Fly. I was enjoying the tropical atmosphere right up until that damn clam swallowed me up.
Indeedily.
I deployed a tiny bit of my heinous cash hoarde today
Waiting on that crop report from the Ben Bernank.
Frozen Orange Juice Futures?
Sold to YOU!
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Thurs OEW Summary:
“This two day pullback of 25 points (1296-1271) is the largest pullback, by far, during all of Intermediate wave five. The previous range of pullbacks was from 13-16 points. This is a negative medium term. After today’s low, at an extremely oversold condition, the market rallied. Typical retracement rallies during the beginning of a downtrend are usually about 50% of the first decline; i.e. SPX 1283-1284.”
“Reviewing both [OEW] short term counts [indicates that it is still possible for] the SPX to rally to a maximum of 1307, if the five wave rally for Minor wave 5 [has not yet been completed]. Nevertheless, even if this market makes new uptrend highs (above SPX 1296) we remain cautious medium [term unless] this market clears SPX 1320.”
Can we deny you service now, too?
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Homeless man wins again!
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Homeless-man-is-the-king-of-fantasy-football?urn=nfl-310374
Salem Witchcraftery, I was expecting the Clam to be the grand finale in this :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2LRgDar8QQ
Yeah, FWIW (not that much, that is), I’m not buying any “major reversal” stories here. I’ll be away next week in Mexico, and have a GTC sell order for TNA at 78 (from Thurs buy of 71.x), and at 83 (from Wed’s buy… don’t ask at what level) – those are my only two position, with 60% cash.. I also will leave a buy order for TNA at $60, “just in case”… I don’t expect any to actually get executed, but why not be prepared for market fuckery.
Let the bears have their little fun, little campfire dance – little do they realize that The Fly is about to pass them overhead.. flying a water bomber… 🙂
Well, Shanghai Comp is in rally mode tonight over the China Govt adding money to their banks. Go figure. Anyway, Fly is probably correct, David Tepper Show on CNBC is really are only catalyst with no econ news in US session tomorrow, well COT at the end of the day, but nothing much more. Trend is up, but I have enjoyed my last couple of days…plus w/ option X everyone has a vested interest to move it to the level they need.
and of course GE and BAC earnings….remember in 2008 when GE took down the market on their earnings, boy have they lost their power.
Remember when GE beat earnings and a giant clam swallowed all the bearshitters? Oh, that’s this morning!
They are working their way back, however.
Behold! The Glorious Corporate Fascism!
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Jake, Thanks for the link…but a 5% up day on GE would have given us a 3% up day in the market in the old days.
They have fallen and they can’t get up. That’s why they are working the political angle whole hog now. They can’t rely on operational advantages. They got too fat being able to bully their suppliers around in the 80’s and 90’s and early oughts, and now they are paying the price.
The political weaseling will not work either, no matter how many Olbermann’s they hire to pay obeissance.
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The iPhone app is sick and this update HIGHlarius.
Exk?
Exk?
Nope.
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My gut feeling is if you continue to buy the dip you may get ass raped. But damn, fly from the future has been spot on with this market. It is difficult for me at least to continue to buy long when it feels so wrong. But fly is from the future and I’m just another dumbass common man from NYC. When does the new v. Queen blog open. That guy’s a real winner.