My day is progressing, rather egregiously, thanks to my erroneous sleep habits. I’ve been forgetting everyone’s names. So, to remedy the situation, I’ve begun calling everyone by the Universal name: JACKSON. I’m fucking Santa Claus up in the bitch, handing out presents to everyone: the fucking cleaning lady, mailman, garbage truck guy etc. Gifts for all at Le Casa del Fly, for they all deserve it, AND MORE.
Regarding the market: I have one eye on some banks and another on the statue next to me that keeps talking shit. I’m warning you now, I am liable to punch his jade face off, should he make one more derogatory comment. As you know, I’ve been a seller of stocks today. I told you it was my intention to raise the ol’ cash level up, so I did. Do not be surprised if your cocks are chewed off tomorrow, by reindeers dressed as clowns. No one has an interest to trade this fucking hilarious bullshit on X-mas eve. Believe you me, there is better shit to do, such as buy cologne and slippers for total and complete strangers.
Hey, on top of that, I just received news that some person I never met or will meet, from a foreign country, got burned in an explosion today. They asked my wife for a donation. Naturally, she obliged.
“Hey, someone in Nigeria blew up in a chemical factory. Please make donation, Sir.”
Fuck this shit. I have no patience for anything at all and find myself holding back from violent confrontations. I feel like using my car as a weapon, sort of like bumper cars, but with real explosions and free flowing gasoline. People do not deserve to be treated with kindness, for they are idiots.
In closing, oil is going to the average IQ of America: 100. Get long the banks and some heavily shorted oil/gas stocks, like REXX. Have sex with REXX, if you know what I mean.
For your listening pleasure, I selected a lovely Christmas carol for you. GYEAAAHHH.
UPDATE: I bought 5,000 BKMU
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6LHlU4tY1w 616 500] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter
is that you?
no
Looking forward to when you move down south and trade your car in for a ‘jacked-up’ Ford F350 with a giant bush guard.
What a mighty fine weapon that would make!
If it’s SC then Bubba’s gone and been replaced by Yankee’s driving Leafs around drinking green tea and babbling something about how terrible deer season is.
Yankees don’t hunt.
______
Don’t forget the rifle on the rack in the rear window ….
Boss Hog’s White Cadillac with the bull-horns would be much more fitting.
In closing, oil is going to the average IQ of America: 100
You give average America too much credit.
We are all above average.
everyone gets participation trophies in America! Yay!
Putting together a big fucking doll house my wife bot at Costco. Grrrrrrr!
Hope you get years of pleasure from it .. Merry XMass!
Lighten up Ebeneezer. Your kindness to Tiny Tim and cologne guzzling foreigners will be rewarded. Smile, have an alcoholic beverage, throw hot slices of pizza at homless dudes. It’s Christmas, good man!
Actually, I am going to throw furniture at homeless dudes. I am giving away dining room table and entertainment center. I was thinking about loading it into truck and tossing it onto some unsuspecting homeless vagrant.
You will be visited by three ghosts tomorrow night.
I suspect Marley will be played by one Chuck A. Bennet.
_________
Ghost of the X-Mas present will be V.King
Don’t know if he’s jolly enough. Maybe “Yet to Come?”
________
Hung the new TV on the wall heh?
Merry Christmas to all.
It was probably a coincidence but I too heard from Nigeria.
I won the Nigerian Lottery and I just provided them with my bank account number.
So if you don’t hear from me anymore just assume I am filthy rich and living the large life amongst my orange trees.
same ol’ sheeth
Were you shopping at Toys R Us all night? They are open 24hrs this year.
Merry Christmas everyone.
some one tore up my xmas display and stole Frosty, he’s been in the family for 30 years..
People suck.
My advice? Move out of Flushing.
_______
Riverwalk subdvn, porter texas. 300k+ homes on acre lots. I want that fucking snowman back. Im so fucking pissed.
Had my snowman stolen from my front lawn a few years back. Asshole cut through the extension cord and left his Swiss Army knife there. I think I won.
I’ve been waiting for this. I will use my powers as Xmas Ninja to retrieve your stolen Christmas decorations. Just tell me who stole them and where they live.
Bastards.
Let me know what he looks like and I will be on the lookout here in Central Florida.
Shall I FedEx you a box of snow so you can build a new one?
Next up on the play list for The Fly…..Slim Thugg “Like a Boss”,,,,,,
H-town representin’ fo sho.
H-town or nothing!
It’s just the clouds that that crossed the pacific, flooded the west, and iced the ol’ east. Investing in lunar dust will be prophetable by 2250 as it contains “molecular hydrogen. it’s interesting because when heated up, rocket fuel can come pouring out.” Dr. G.
Funny how if we don’t know someone, our best guess about what they want for Xmas is to smell better (cologne) & to slip into some slippers & then tromp off to bed & get some sleep. Sounds like the 2nd one would be right about Fly.
Sorry to hear about the stolen snowman. Could be worse though. U could be the guy in Nigeria who got burned, who I expect will appreciate Fly’s donation to his recovery.
Hysterical! No less so because thehusband (sic) calls everyone Jackson too!
“A Bag of Hammers”
Yes….one by one I tossed out hammers to passer-bye’s along the expressway….”The Fly’s” Christmas spirit is contagious.
Snowing like a bugger though…hard to see expressions of gratitude…”Horn” honking, I assume was “Thank You” enough.
I got goose bumps over here
Isnt your title a reference to the great Jerky Boys?? “you want the tomatossss??”
Actually “Bag of Hammers” was from my early boating days.
Fire one off when one of those “Jet skiers” gets a little to close…now a days I just use a sling shot…sack of corn nuts
Fuck! I just bought SOL yesterday and we’re already selling!!!
If you didn’t sell today then I guess you are S.O.L.!
Is that really a picture of you?
Indeud.
Nigeria
Travel Alert: The security situation in the middle belt region and northern Nigeria is unstable and violence is not uncommon; travelers should exercise extreme caution. Kidnappings and attacks on foreign oil workers are an ongoing threat in the Bakassi Peninsula and Niger Delta regions of Nigeria.
……………Such a stimulating destination filled with corruption, ethnic violence and email scams.
Luckily, I have found my way home back into the red, white and rape. Just in the nick of time for some ATM gold purchases, moonshine with a splash of eggnog and to enjoy this year’s White House theme, Simple Gifts. Mzz Bama states simplicity is good in these trying times. I am sure she is all about simplistic……..
Arriving back into the states I see nothing has changed. Congress continues to wipeth its
collective bum with our money. Between greasy pork and lame ducks, there’s enough yuletide Congressional fare to make us bloated and bilious. Moody’s is mad at Spain. Again. The ongoing drama of who pisses Moody’s off has gotten to be boring as hell.
With all that said, it sure is good to be home for a bit. Food, friends, parties and more food……..
Happy X-Mas…. Dani
I just made a killing on Nigerian oil. MMT. In at .24, out at .74. But back to the Fly’s post, the average IQ of Sub-Saharan Africa (not including Pygmies) is in the low 70’s. Makes it tougher to progress. Except bionumerically. Also makes the USA look like Doogie Howser next to Arnie Grape.