Peter Rotesque was a 40 something year old wall street professional, with big plans to expand his burgeoning career, catering to the super wealthy. He lived in an atypical upscale suburban community. He had 4 cars, 2 homes, 1 boat, 4 kids, 1 wife and 1 mistress. His work ethic could only be described as “obsessive psychotic,” where he was a partner at an up and coming NYC investment bank, overseeing and cracking a stiff whip on an underpaid and brazenly disloyal staff of 25. Everything was fairly straightforward with Peter, with exception to one major character flaw: aside from Peter’s obsessive work ethic and infectious charm, Peter was also a fiery kleptomaniac aka “great collector of other people’s things.”
It all started one day, while at a business meeting. His devout client, Bradley Hamlargular, of 20 years had met him for lunch at The Four Seasons restaurant in NYC. While discussing a multi-million dollar deal over $25 quail egg salads, Bradley politely excused himself from the table for exactly 4.5 minutes, so that he might relieve himself inside of the Four Seasons bathroom. In a mistake that can only be described as “unfortunate,” Mr. Hamlargular left his prized Grayson Tighe Limited Edition rollerball pen on the table— with Mr. Rotesque as its primary caretaker until he returned.
To be continued…
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I will be posting parts of this story whenever i get in the mood.
I like where this is going.
More…. I like short stories.
Wasn’t this an episode on the Brady Bunch?
is this to take our mind off what’s going to happen monday?
As a display of absolutely reckless behaviour, I have decided not to look at my portfolio on an almost black Monday. You never look at the near and dear ones when they are being shot in their heads by commie soldiers. It lessens the pain. Let the bleeding begin …until the turnaround Tuesday of course! And then Ben the Bodzilla will screw every short until the following Tuesday of course. Fucking roller coasters!
da hell?
what kind of man are you?
I am sure there will be honor among thieves.
Nice to see you exercising your creative writing muscles.
The New Yorker will soon be deep in the shizz.
Bradley should allow him to steal his pen so that he can steal the next deal Peter tries to make, effectively stealing back whatever deal the pen should sign next. Peter sounds like he writes for zero hedge too.
“Peter sounds like he writes for zero hedge too.”
^good one!
There are some unexplained coincidences with the $SPX…
http://bit.ly/b4zQRr
Citigroup on gas/oil drillers tonight:
A Strong Start in 2010 Leads Us to Boost Our Forecast
The V-shaped recovery in U.S. drilling has been underway for seven months and shows no signs of stalling.
We Favor HP and HAL as the Best Plays on the U.S. Drilling Recovery — Last week’s sell-off in the stock market and in the OSX hit two of our favorite plays on the recovery in U.S. demand for unconventional gas drilling services. Halliburton and Helmerich & Payne are directly and tangibly benefiting from the upturn in drilling in the U.S. gas shale plays. They are technology leaders who play a major role in drilling and fracturing the toughest horizontal wells in the unconventional gas basins. We believe that the sell-off in HAL and HP last week presents an opportunity to buy these stocks at a time when they are achieving higher demand for their services and are starting to boost their prices.
Term Contracts Are Back, Signalling a Tighter Market — Perhaps the most compelling evidence of the recovery in U.S. unconventional gas and oil drilling is the fact that E&P companies are now hiring rigs on term contracts with durations of 6 to 18 months. Helmerich & Payne reported last week that it had signed 8 land rigs on term contracts in December and January. E&P companies initiated the term contract discussions, suggesting that they believe a tighter market soon will reduce the availability of high quality rigs and push rig day rates higher.
See how Natty gas does tomorrow, but these guys (HP, NBR, PTEN) just got killed all last week.. maybe time for a bounce.
You may feel good for about twenty minutes on Monday morning, but if you take my advice, you’ll drop everything and just get in the freaking manhole.
_____________________
other randomness so far tonight:
DCP DynCorp Upgraded to neutral from sell at Goldman Sachs
ACI Arch Coal Upgraded to Hold from Sell at Citi
AVY – Avery Upgraded to Neutral at UBS
LZ Lubrizol downgraded to Sell at Citi
KT KT Corp Downgraded to Neutral at Goldman
DDRX Peet’s Coffee (PEET) to extend tender offer for Diedrich Coffee by 30 days – Reuters
A person with knowledge of the situation says an announcement will be made today, and the extension is coming because the company thinks regulators may block Green Mountain Coffee Roasters (GMCR)’s $35/share offer to buy Diedrich. Recall the FTC made a second request for information 13-Jan. The $26/share PEET offer expired 29-Jan; the source says it could be extended more than once.
Good to know.
Will play a bounce in oversold SMH, but going to see what happens after the first bounce fails.
Regional Banks (WFC,PNC in particular) and Homies held up relatively well and could be the stronger ones on a bounce.
Will let the market come to me.
The saga that will never die. Could be like the IBM / ORCL / JAVA soap opera. Fly may get his chance to reload on GMCR at lower levels after all.
I think this is about not using rollerball pens. Moral of the story – get a fucking iPad!
Is it like an astronaut pen that writes upside down?
Kind of like in Seinfeld when neighbor Jack (Morty’s neighbor) gives Jerry an “astronaut” pen that writes upside down.
This is too funny not to pass on…enjoy
AN ACTUAL CRAIG’S LIST AD
AN ACTUAL CRAIG’S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head …… isn’t it?!
I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
I probably don’t have to ask you to forward this one.
Looks like we have XOM and CSCO this week on the event calendar. Here is a link to the calendar for this week.
http://bit.ly/9ISmwI
I see a reply or some sorts of Friday. Gap up then close lower. Watch the volume of sell orders as they increase. Momentum has changed. The January effect has played in the past. Let’s see if it follows thru this time.
Will this market die from a guillotine chop or from a thousand cuts, that is the only question IMO.