iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,465 Blog Posts

Get a Dog

If you need a friend and don’t know what to do, get a dog. Otherwise, quit being so damn friendly, with your homo internet events.

Back to my regularly scheduled drinking exercise.

FREEDOM O’CLOCK UPDATE:

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56 comments

  1. jg

    fig.

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  2. Pete

    wtf m8?

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  3. DEVILDOG

    Fuck off.

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    • TA

      Hilarious, hopefully it’s the real devildog but if not the fake Tim K is entertaining enough…

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    • dubz

      Glad to see you man, I thought you spent your last $5 on some rope to hang yourself, seriously.

      Good to see you’re alive.

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  4. Braveflaps

    Welcome back, DD. I captured the last 24 seconds of your Faz trade here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvgJZVLhhU

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  5. JakeGint

    ROFL!

    The Publishing Man for the win! He is so stylin’!

    _______

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  6. RaginCajun

    Funny you mention this. Earlier today, I was looking to purchase a dog (Boxer), however Mrs. Cajun turned me down. I will get through to her one day.

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    • JakeGint

      Boxers are too dumb.

      _

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      • dubz

        Not to mention inbred and prone to disease.

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        • RC

          What breed do you recommend?

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          • Dubz

            I have friends obsessed with Boxers and it’s nothing but vet bills. I’m not a big dog person, mainly because I’m not “stabilized” anywhere… I dunno but we had a Dalmatian for years, she was such a bitch but fiercely loyal.

            You looking for a guard dog right?

            That said, they are inbred as well but we aren’t big time “vet” people. We’re “old school”. We fed her nothing but kibble and the occasional meat scraps. She went to 16 when they normally last 10 years.

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          • The Fly

            Jake owns 4 pitbulls.

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          • MOOBS

            I thought those were his kids.

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          • JakeGint

            My kids are pit bulls, yes.

            Einsteinian pit bulls. They are running laps around your tube-bound children as we speak.

            That said, I recommend poodles, standard first, with no reservations. Smart, obedient, great guard dogs, and — for the bonus — hypoallergenic and non-shedding.

            ________

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          • The Fly

            Oh boy. Did Earl Jake just say poodles are good guard dogs? Rofl.

            I believe jake is spending too much time with the KY aristocracy.

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          • Teahouse On The Tracks
            Teahouse On The Tracks

            Jake is Treuly a master Coiffeur ….

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          • JakeGint

            You are an ignorant dock dweller, and are therefore, forgiven.

            ___

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          • Teahouse On The Tracks
            Teahouse On The Tracks

            so are the receivers for the Gmen ….. and it’s starting to rub off on Eli

            But the Yanks managed to beat the Angels (even though the halos beat themselves) with some help from the umps … s/b fun seeing Petey vs the yanks … Zimmer should throw out the first pitch

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          • JakeGint

            Eli does very well for a sub-moron w. cerebral palsey.

            No yellow balloon for him this week though, I fear.

            Whose house are the Red Sox meeting at this year to watch the Series?

            Senor Ham Hands?

            _______

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          • Teahouse On The Tracks
            Teahouse On The Tracks

            The House of Blues …. with a rain date @ The House of Pain

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          • howie2092

            I have to agree that standard poodles are a great choice (toy poodles, not so much). My neighbor has three standards and they are all badass. Fast, smart, obedient, non-shedding, and very protective.

            That said, I picked an Australian Shepard, so that he can herd my kids around the yard – thus providing additional humor for me whilst I drink.

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          • Drop-kick

            “Guard-dog poodles” are great to have around for field goal practice.
            Especially the small rat-dog breed.

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          • JakeGint

            Whew, you must be a real bad-ass up close and personal.

            (eye roll)

            I’ll remind the reading comprehending that I said STANDARD poodles, which will rip your legs off if you are not a recognized member of the tribe.

            Ask any UPS man (or Drop-kick’s Dad, the burglar)

            ______

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          • Lydira

            Labrador or Alsatian. The Mrs. won’t have to contend with indoor doggie odor. Dogs are high maintenance. Purchase a boa constrictor and feed it bits of bears every now and then.

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          • ecchymosis

            I like Dobermans – they will rip your face off when the market is too lazy to do it!!

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          • Lydira

            I had a black male cat that attacked and ripped into the noses of two Dobermans when they got to close to my son when he was 9 months old. The dogs ran off with the stub of a tail between their legs. Ace was the name of the cat and he was protecting the alpha leader’s territory. I loved that cat dearly!!

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          • MOOBS

            German Shorthaired Pointer? Great dogs.

            We have a mutt, from the pound. Part Lab, part Mastiff, part….dunno all of it. DNA soup I suppose. 95lbs of lazy lapdog. Loyal as hell.

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          • GER

            I saw an odd looking labradoodle. It had a body like a wire haired terrier or perhaps a boxer. But the coat was close cut poodle so no smell or shedding. They are good bird hunting dogs if you train them young not to be afraid of loud noise. I’ve seen lots of labradoodles but I have only seen one that had that body shape weighing around 50/60 pounds… nice and stout could probably stand up to a raccoon.

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          • DPeezy

            Bernese mountain dog, FTW!

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        • Maelstrom

          Like homo sapiens.. The inbred and desease part…German Shepards are the best dogs to own..for those who have a bit of space and time to spend , but the time is true for any animal..gotta love them to get it back

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          • The Fly

            For the record, ” The Fly” does not keep dirty animals inside his house,

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          • SteveTheNeighbor

            Fly. Your chihuahua is barking like crazy. Please do something.

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          • j

            Agreed. However we do and the fucking mut has cost us 35k in damages. Don’t think it’s true?

            Let me go through the costs.

            1. nice landscaped garden fucked. totally fucked.

            2. 8 pairs of specs belong to the members of the family. All chewed. 800 bucks a pair.

            3. sprinkler system totally chewed. Even the device attached to the faucet gone.

            4 shoes chewed and wrecked.

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          • JustSaying

            Who is the dumb animal here?

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          • j

            Fair point.

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  7. needle dick the bug fucker
    needle dick the bug fucker

    Fly,

    “get a dog”

    Carl Ichan told that to workers of TWA at a meeting just after he took control of the company, BTW Ducti was not all that bad…

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  8. dubz

    This post is dope. In university, when asked to join faggot fraternities, I’d say “If I wanted to pay for a friend, I’d buy a dog.”. I’m 3 litres deep in local brew and booking a ticket to the islands, it’s much more effective than eating a sandwich. Bring on the 15% correction or not, who gives a fuck.

    P.S: If you bring home a girl and when you get there, you sober up… Just play this song while you go “get drinks” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ToNZHG5KHw ; If she’s still there when you return, tell her to get the fuck out.

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  9. stries

    Wife leave you? Well you know what they say- “If your dog dies you buy a new one”. Careful with this though- it has backfired a few times

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  10. howie2092

    I just got a dog from the pound.

    I started telling him my oh-so-interesting stories about investing and about my online ‘friends’ like The Fly.

    He ran away, faster than I ever imagined a dog could run.

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  11. omfgitsjd

    Most of the times I’ve almost been in a motorcycle accident, it’s gone something like this.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vIWollFz78

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  12. mustard seeds

    Kaiser the dog and I just wanted to pop in an say hi, “Hi”. Of course Kaiser is preferential to Golden Retrievers, however we recently acquired an American Eskimo, he’s cool and all but not really a man’s dog..sorta catdog like.

    Off to engage in more character building work, overtime today…thus I’ll be Jonesing for football time, guess I’m left with watching the Eagles and Deadskins tomorrow night.

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  13. Alvari40

    Jake,

    Doesn’t Auld have to do with Scotland rather than Ireland? – hmmmmmmm.

    I always doubt myself – my nature. However, didn’t happen in October. I’ll leave the crumbs to others.

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    • JakeGint

      Depends on what you consider to be crumbs.

      I’m not familiar with the Gaelic for “auld.” It’s Middle English.

      ____

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    • Triumph the Comic Insult Dog

      Music, ahhh, now your talkin’ my language guys. Check out my new album, “Come Poop with Me”. Some of my favorite croons include:

      Underage Bichon (Caribbean Calypso)

      Lick Myself (Irish Drinking Song)

      Bob Barker (Anti-Spaying Metal)

      and a new one for all you dogs under 47 1/2

      I Keed (Rap)

      Keep your poodles in their houses or I’ll pound those puff balls and give them gonorrhea that I caught from an Amazon Howler monkey. It’s nastier than Swine Flu.

      Later gents, off to knock over Fly’s trash bucket, knock up Steve’s Lhasa Apso, piss on a Devil Dog’s Viper and find someone “TO POOP ON!!!!!”

      PS: Is that Jake the Giants Fan @ Bonnaroo?

      PSS: My daddy was a toy Rotweiler, a dog’s dog and mom was a bitchin’ Afghan. Nothing like a cigar smokin’ Rotty if you’re looking for protection and Flies just love it when I find someone TO POOP ON!!!

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  14. Alvari40

    Let’s look at it this way – I think we all agree that this last push up in October (since the 2nd) has been led by the small caps. In fact, the Russell has outperformed the SP during this period +8.2%:+6.9% (1.2:1). Compared with the DOW, the Russell was up +8.2%:+6.4% (1.3:1). In fact, the Russell has led the SP and DOW since June +18%:+17% (1.06:1). So, while the Rus has led the market for the past 5 months, that lead had accelerated in the last month. Hungry for faster returns during an uptrend? Jump into riskier assets the last 4 weeks.

    However, since October 20th that trend has reversed. The Rus has fallen -3.5% vs. the SP -1.7% during this time. Anyone with crappy stocks knows this. The relative strength of the RUS has underperformed both the SP and DOW since this period. Does this underperformance in small caps reverse next week to outperform for the rest of the month? Could happen, but me no think so. The top, as defined by the 40-week cycle, is slated for the first week of November. Does it ever hit as predicted – lol, um – no. It’s always give or take 1.5 to 2 weeks. So, the technicals as shown above with the relative strength comparisons hint that we have topped out for this cycle.

    The beginning of the next 4-week cycle is shown to begin in mid-to late-December.

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    • JakeGint

      Wow, imagine the Russell showing a larger standard deviation than the S&P 500?

      I wonder if that volatility has shown up before in the run since March 6th or so?

      _____

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      • Alvari40

        It’s not just the standard deviation – it’s the relative strength. This is the first time since June that the Rus relative strength has dipped this low when compared to the SP and DOW.

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    • TA

      I totally agree that the tape sucks

      For the first time since March there’s a disturbance in the force so to speak
      Treading light and looking for confirmation either way here

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  15. Alvari40

    http://archive.gao.gov/t2pbat3/151647.pdf

    Read the first paragraph on Page 7. Also, note that this GAO report was written in 1994! Wait for the download time – it’s worth it.

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  16. Fly Leech

    Is it true? Did DEVILDOG get out of prison?!

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  17. Tim Knight

    Fly and the rest,

    I have a seven digit IWM short position going in tommorrow shored via out of the money puts. I am the best and I have shorted EQIX too. hehehe. You guys are going to pay for all the fun you have made of me;)

    Tim Knight rulez!

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  18. JophA

    Fly, Tim Knight just called you out over on his board saying this is the “ibankdime” website.

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  19. henryfool

    TBUS on watch for BO here

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