iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

Yesterday’s Crash Was Just a Joke

Wall Street has twisted the arms of our regulators into changing the accounting standards (FASB), in order to hide toxic assets, indefinitely. This is a great idea, circa Japan 1990’s.

My guess, in an weird twist of lunacy, the market will close the day up 777 points, effectively tricking everyone into neatly fitted sleeveless dinner jackets.

I love it. Yesterday the end of the world was upon us; today, gamblers are back at the table drinking shots of bourbon.

My present asset allocation is neutral. I sold off many longs, erroneously mind you, yesterday, while buying up blocks of [[SRS]] , as if my head was attached to an automatic SRS buying machine—sort of like a diabolical robot, low on efficient wiring.

I swear on a stack of NY Mets baseball cards, I will not execute any trades today. I do not trust the market and believe congress, somehow, will fuck us again.

If you didn’t sell yesterday, take today’s bump to lighten up or hedge up a little.

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61 comments

  1. Sir Douchebag

    The volatility is caused by Fed intervention. The markets are no longer free so the rules have changed — increasing one-way short-term bets.

    should close

    Dow 400
    Naz 100 today

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  2. Sia

    I believe we will selloff towards the end

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  3. BIG MIKE

    You know, you can actually bet on http://www.intrade.com to see if Congress fucks this up by Oct. 31st.

    I will put in $150, then treat myself to a nice steak restaurant.

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  4. WallStreetLurker

    I was in the red over 30k yesterday – have over 15 k back today – I did nothing except trade in and out of SKF and SDS yesterday for a small profit. Either they pass a bill or its back down – no threat – just fact.

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  5. WallStreetLurker

    I am not WallStreetLurker – yesterday it was CAP – Fly needs to crack the whip on his tech people.

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  6. chivasontherocks

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUWyWmD0218

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  7. Donny

    Donny Buys DUG @ 39

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  8. MAX

    It’s my Bday…closing up…bottom not in, look for a lower PPS low and a lower high VIX spike to go ALL IN. there I said it. I’d like to bone Palin just because….

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  9. AVAV anyone?
    looks like it could work here…. even long… say into the close. That’s long right?

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  10. Really B Qualified
    Really B Qualified

    AVAV anyone?
    looks like it could work here…. even long… say into the close. That’s long right?

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  11. Really B Qualified
    Really B Qualified

    for those who can move fast AVAV looks like it could frog hop to 32.50 from 31.50

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  12. kidstock

    Does the calendar have anything to do with liquidations yesterday given that we are at month/quarter end?

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  13. Steve Wynn

    If the DJIA finishes up 777 today, negating yesterday’s 777, everyone will receive a stimulus in the mail from Uncle Sam for $777 worth of nickels.

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  14. sniper6

    if the market can go up 777 in one day, WTF do we need a bailout for?

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  15. JakeGint

    Ruh Roh… those machers down at Motley Fool must’ve heard about the PPT being rolled out at the end of October, since they are planning a pre-emptive strike.

    Just got this in my gmail account:

    Dear Jake,

    I want you to hear it from me first… before you hear it from someone else!

    (lame! — Jake)

    On October 7, 2008, I will launch a revolutionary new service, Motley Fool PRO. Don’t let the name put you off. You don’t have to be a professional investor to benefit.

    (Oh, well, whew! I was getting nervous there for a sec’ — Jake)

    So why the name? Two reasons…

    (Shit! Two?!)

    Motley Fool PRO gives you access to a professional money management team and a proprietary “quant” model a Harvard professor says will “shock the academic world.”

    Good golly fuck! A Harvard Professor has got their back!

    It’s also our first membership service exposing you to OPTIONS, exchange traded funds (ETFs), and SHORTS, among other more sophisticated tools and strategies… showing you exactly how and when to go long or short individual stocks or the market…

    (Geez, I dunno fellas… my head is spinning enough as it is ALREADY!)

    _______________

    There’s a lot more, as these bullshit come-on’s go… but you get the picture.

    It’s pretty evident they somehow got hold of your readership e-mail list, Fly.

    I blame Ducati.

    _

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  16. Jenna J.

    They got your email from the all the porn sites Jake

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  17. j's warm can of Foster's lager
    j's warm can of Foster's lager

    About this part of the day you always get a little “sloppy” in the writing department, j.

    Don’t worry, you can drink your way to witty if you just believe!

    Just keep sucking me down.

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  18. chivasontherocks

    Jenna,

    so why did you give them Jake’s e-mail?

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  19. Dinosaur Trader

    This HIG acting very funny… market up big and it’s down 15 points?

    Looks like trouble.

    -DT

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  20. chivasontherocks

    october, the month of important tops or bottoms. last year was the top, maybe this year, to honor symmetry, will be a bottom.

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  21. TraderCaddy

    This is why they call it Turnaround Tuesday (after a Black Monday). Tomorrow is Wacky Wednesday. Beware.

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  22. The Fly

    Then “Treasure Thursday.”

    Don’t forget “Frantic Friday.”

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  23. Mushroomz

    SRS getting ass pounded.

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  24. JakeGint

    EEV retard-diculously oversold.

    Just picked another bushel at $99.85.

    ___________

    Jenna, you vixen.

    ___

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  25. What crash?

    Bennet Sedacca

    02:04:14 PM

    Position FITB options

    Regional bank color

    Some regional bank stocks are flying based on a rumor that Wells Fargo (WFC) is a buyer of regionals like KeyCorp (KEY), Regions Financial (RF), Fifth Third Bancorp (FITB), etc.

    Let me throw my hat in the ring here. My opinion is that the only way WFC takes them is if they are GIVEN THEM. I saw a list of debt for sale of the same names this morning of 10 million blocks of bonds in the 12-15% range. None of the bonds traded.

    Their preferreds trade in the 15-25% range, hardly awe inspiring.

    So maybe, just maybe if the FDIC pleaded with Wells to buy them, they might.

    For nothing.

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  26. Donny

    I doubled my position in DUG at 38.54.

    Fuck You!

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  27. JakeGint

    Don’t forget the best day of all for a trader…

    …the day you wake up and throw on your wife beater tee, denim jeans and Crocs flip flops, and saunter over to your neighbor’s back fence, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale in hand, to bullshit about your big trading “wins” over the past week…

    “Salubrious Saturday.”

    _______

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  28. JG question

    What is your opinion on GOLD and SILVER

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  29. JG question

    buying man sized chunks of AVAV.

    I’m rich bitch!!!!!!

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  30. Really B Qualified
    Really B Qualified

    sorry I said that

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  31. JakeGint

    (Sometimes I feel like I’m waving a fifth of Woodford Reserve in front of a recovering alcoholic.)

    ________

    Fly — VMC may be more shortable now than it’s been in a month.

    Sorry, I would’ve felt bad if I was the only one participating in its imminent demise.

    __________

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  32. JakeGint

    JG Question:

    What is your opinion on gold and silver?

    _________

    I am like Gimli the Dwarf on that shit.

    ______

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  33. JG Question

    Precious answer…Thank You

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  34. chivasontherocks

    Jake,

    initial reaction after deal gets done imo, metals down and crude up.

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  35. JakeGint

    Chivas… what deal?

    heh.

    I am playing for the long run, ovah heah.

    There is almost no availibility of physical gold and silver… what does that tell you?

    ________

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  36. JakeGint

    Just shorted more FITB @ $12.10.

    _______

    Hat tip to the Bruceinator & his songwriting stock-trading pal, Neil Sedaka.

    ______

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  37. Really B Qualified
    Really B Qualified

    The market that cried wolf

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  38. These Colors Don't Run
    These Colors Don't Run

    Nevermind Congressman, we actually didn’t need that deal after all.

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  39. chivasontherocks

    Jake,

    the deal will get done. for the most part, what’s working today will continue to work for a while. longer term i agree with you. look at the dollar today, it’s ripping higher and i think it will continue do so. short term, metals could be painful.

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  40. Topper Harley

    WTF?? GOOG just printed $489

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  41. Paradigm Shift

    wholly shit

    GOOG just had a spasm

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  42. Mushroomz

    wtf is going on with GOOG

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  43. Topper Harley

    FUCK….I have a filled order to buy GOOG at 300.

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  44. EEV

    my bottom just dropped out

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  45. CubsRock

    I put one in at $300 but the market just closed as I did.

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  46. Topper Harley

    I own GOOG at 300 now. Took screenshots of the order confirmation.

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  47. Whew!

    Thank God all that selling’s behind us!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJC21zzkwoE&feature=related

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  48. da

    one more day of everything is just peachy, and then people will forget about the doom, and goodbye market

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  49. Anton Cigur

    Topper,

    Con… grat… u… lations?

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  50. mh

    I have seen a lot of bottoms and there was one yesterday. Get in and enjoy the ride fly. SPX to 1700 by next October.

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  51. Employee8

    Were you quick enough on the trigger to sell at 489?

    Lucky SOB …. Congrats!

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  52. TraderCaddy

    Topper Harley- I bet they bust the trade. The bastards.
    Let us know.

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  53. Paradigm Shift

    Sold at $475.94

    How long before that trade gets busted?

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  54. CubsRock

    This GOOG shit makes a good case for TA and having GTC orders in place. I can’t wait to hear what went on.

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  55. Paradigm Shift

    They busted the trade

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  56. Topper Harley

    I sold at 405 in the AH session. Did you get an email or a call from your brokerage saying that the trade is busted?

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  57. Mr. Lover Man

    Jake-

    What are you doing with EEV? I got killed in it today. Europe has some news coming out tomorrow (1030am) and Thursday (rate cut meeting dec. ).

    Fuuuck

    What would your stop be?

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  58. arch

    gold and silver:

    the reason there isnt that much of this stuff floating around is because dealers sell this stuff at a premium over the spot price and from what i have seen silver is down a little from a few months ago when i unloaded a shit load ..same with gold both carry a premium over the spot price …so i doubt anybody is selling their shit for less than they paid ..i wouldnt touch gold at the price its at now … been a coin collector for 40yrs and watched this shit every day of it.. not saying there isnt a dumb ass out there or even a company out there trying to replicate the Hunt brothers..

    buying gold @ 350.00 oz take it or eat it ..its comming down same with silver ..after christmas of course

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  59. arch

    gold and silver

    forgot your all dumbasses so let me add this ..dealers buy and sell gold and silver at different percentages above spot price ( to sell ) and below spot price( to buy )usually $50.00 for gold and $ 1.00 for silver so your boned from the start ..so whatever % $50.00 is thats probably going to be the percent

    so with all that said heres my take on $7,000.00 gold ..keep wishn ,wont happen the gold mining companys will be dign that shit up by the tons before it gets to much higher

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