iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
21,927 Blog Posts

ROFL: 5.5%

The Government stats are so corrupt and fucktarded, they’re forgetting their own lies. How the fuck does the unemployment rate jump to 5.5%, yet only report a loss of 49,000 jobs?

Truly amazing.

Nonetheless, people are hardcore out of work. Apparently, the Great Depression, part II, is back on the table.

In other news, oil has begun to take on the trading characteristics of an equity, up more than $9 in two days. Did that fucker just report better than expected earnings or a 3:1 stock split? Maybe the FDA approved “oil” as a safe way to defeat cancer? One teaspoon of oil per day, and your cancer goes away.

As you can see, long energy/short everything else is still the best trade out there.

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39 comments

  1. Gay Giraffe Driving an Ice Cream Truck
    Gay Giraffe Driving an Ice Cream Truck

    Look pal, it’s a living. Alright?

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  2. MarketRaider

    The truly amazing thing is the Great Depression job numbers and the futures and stocks tepid reaction to them pre market. Quite amazing considering the fucktarded highs these indexes just don’t want to let go of. Trading with the bears has been truly a mind-numbing experience to say the least.

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  3. InternationalGroupie

    airlines are shafted bigtime early trading.

    Gold shows some improvement…though stick with black gold.

    TSL also shitted on….will create a nice break to the solar gayflares. No more hyped solar stocks yeah!!!

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  4. InternationalGroupie

    FXP is up on low volume..yeah looks like the move to its current true value (around 71)…may hit 73 today

    Fly are you still heavy on FXP or will you unload a few if it shows a good bounce?

    UPDATE: DIA is slowly loosing ground…load the trucks now

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  5. Green Writer

    Buy up GLD and USO because the world will now sell the dollar.
    bye bye growth recession…hello deep recession.

    I’ll spare you on the depression soup line shit for now.

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  6. TraderCaddy

    Too old to be hired by a law firm (unless I want to represent rapists, murderers, etc. with PD office) so I am going to apply to be a costumed character at Disney World this weekend. Wish me luck and if you come to Disney World say hello to Dale of Chip n Dale (that’s who I want to be).

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  7. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    I was starting to miss the new highs every day in oil, for a minute I forgot the sun came up. And to think I was stopped out of gay qid yesterday, fuck by 1 penny.

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  8. The Fly

    Providing the country of China still exists, FXP will always be my largest position—until it isn’t.

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  9. boca

    after eating dirt all day yesterday, the one smart move I made may turn out to be the QID I bought at yesterday’s close.

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  10. Crude Broker

    I love watching guys trying to call a top in the price of crude oil. Fuckfaces.

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  11. calvino

    Caddy, there are people who like having an officer of the court hanging around just in case they get into a he said she said with the lowest ranked of the officers of the court. You could get a twenty four hour gig just hanging around as a potential corroborating witness of high power.

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  12. Dirty Internet Money
    Dirty Internet Money

    Jimmy Rogers is buying airlines. “BK’s indicate a bottom not a top.”

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  13. CAP

    Someone please explain this to me.
    Unemployment jumps from 5% to 5.5% on a loss of 49,000.
    In other words the entire US workforce is 9.8 million people. This makes no sense at all.

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  14. TraderCaddy

    Calvino-Good Idea. Maybe I will head down to the ‘hood and call my company Hearsay is Us.

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  15. calvino

    Market, one of Emperor Hirohito’s subjects is doing a hundred hour workweek just to provide some hedgespig thirty x leverage mine to bid our tape. How dare you disrespect a man’s labor.

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  16. InternationalGroupie

    They also corrected the last two months data by 15k each on the lower side…plus the so called young guns cant find jobs…yup

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  17. PleaseKillMe

    CAP, the 49,000 is the change in unemployment from last month. It’s not a running total.

    USO broke new 52w high. Natty gas is on fire. Looks like I might break my AAA-meeting truce and get myself a beer before 10.

    Rogers is right. He is the world’s worst market timer.

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  18. InternationalGroupie

    PBR has finally taken off again…i have no cash left to invest damn…someone should make money off of it.

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  19. The Fly

    What a crock of shit CNBC is.

    They’re trying to excuse the 5.5%, due to a sharp increase in “teenagers” looking for work.

    PLEASE!

    The data seasonally adjusts, yet they think we are all stupid enough to believe, out of nowhere, these magic teenagers got out of school a month early this year?

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  20. larry

    Alais:BPOE

    The question is went will the PPT start today? I will wait until this weeks lows are tested. That could be PPT time. Maybe!!! To sell QID

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  21. TraderCaddy

    Daytraders should watch SMH and chips. It’s about unchanged now.

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  22. InternationalGroupie

    I expect PPT will stablize the day to not fall too much…sorry but the PPT’s special bullish piss signs on the charts will not develop today. Maybe tuesday.

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  23. HUNGRY TEEN

    Hey. Can any of you point me to the Hollister soup line?

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  24. larry

    Alias:BPOE

    Tuesday is my gut feel for ppt also.

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  25. TraderCaddy

    In SMH @ 32.54 and out @ 32.93. Done for the AM.
    Calvino- You should consider teaching World History in our High Schools. That should straighten up the High Schoolers.

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  26. Joe Kernan

    I am a complete dick.

    My entire job at CNBC is to interrupt guests with my stupid attempts at humor, and make idiot right-wing comments which make no sense.

    Does my hair look blow-dried enough? I want it to look wind swept in the studio as if there is a breeze in here.

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  27. HUNGRY TEEN

    No really. I can’t find a job. Well, there are lots of jobs, just none that I would stoop to. I mean, like, I am going to Vanderbilt this year, I just won’t do food service. Isn’t that why we import all those dirty brown people?

    Anyway, I’ll just take my handout. Where’s the Abercrombie soup line. I heard the portions are smaller there, so everyone looks all thin and hot and shit.

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  28. DB

    Wow what a great morning to be short KEY & KBE and long CHK & BTU.

    Fuck the rest of today I’m off to start drinking early.

    KEY to $0.01

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  29. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Wonder if that shitbag FXP will get above 74 today.

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  30. Gunners

    POT is the most ridiculous stock i’ve ever seen. it’s ticker symbol is POT for crying out loud. everyone is buying pot.

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  31. InternationalGroupie

    Wow POT is tanking!!!

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  32. TraderCaddy

    LEH going to lead XLF up from here? Worth a scalp.

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  33. InternationalGroupie

    We may have reached low for the few hours of today!!!

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  34. Aris

    “Did that fucker just report better than expected earnings or a 3:1 stock split?”

    hahhaha that made me spit out some of my donut.

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  35. scalded chimp

    Rick Santelli is a fucking genius.

    Or just a few ticks smarter than the average bear.

    Either way, he’s got it nailed.

    Fuck bubble & bullshit.

    Supply-demand is driving black gold (at least for the next minute or 2)

    Have you heard of peak oil? Well, soon to be peak monster energy soda at the chimps house.

    Jog on bitches.

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  36. scalded chimp

    By the way the comments that change below the IBC in the top left corner are genius LMAO.

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  37. moneybags

    If things are so bad sit on cash, or short why are you complaining enjoy the ride down. If you do not feel you have the courage to short then wait for the high oil prices to hit consumers or OPEC or china’s subsidized oil. Maybe next time we should ask Israel to stop giving statements. While the Iranians were talking no one is listening, when the people in Israel talk all hell breaks loose.

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  38. Imposter

    Morgan Stanley now owns so many oil futures that they are officially a component of the XLE not the XLF.

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