iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,202 Blog Posts

The Final Blogging Lesson

Listen up, for you rarely get to see inside the mind of a creative genius (“The Fly”).

For the purposes of explaining how to blog with Godliness, I will use Lord Ducati, from Land O’ Fuckville, as an example. As you know by now, most things in life revolve around Ducati, one way or another.

It is telling enough that this man (Ducati), who I hate with all my soul (yes, I said hate), gets so much airplay on iBC. Fuck, we even wasted our time making a video about him.

Part of it has to do with my insane sense of humour (sic). But, most of it has to do with the genius and stupidity of Lord Duc.

See, Ducati’s blog is meaningless rubbish (I refuse to link to him out of protest). He offers no real advice, just a bunch of copy and paste crap—with lots of innuendo and vague suggestions. Duc is like a gay woman, who fools everyone else about her true gender. You look at her and think she’s a he—but she really is just a she with a very large adams apple and short haircut. I hope that made sense.

Don’t get me wrong, Ducati is very intelligent. He understands the basic principals of the market and is well versed in mathematics. His stupidity is well based in his over the top annoyance and lack of real opinion. He’s a meatloaf thrower, if I may be so bold.

At the same time, his pestering and willingness to have a discussion with complete strangers, for hours if need be, is his greatest strength.

He is a master promoter of his own bullshit blog, without even knowing it. He leaves his bullshit, yet thoughtful, comments on dozens of blogs—especially popular ones. By doing this, he creates a brand—which is “The Ducati.”

The key to being a successful blogger, assholes, is to brand yourself. First, you have to possess all of the basic qualities that will attract people, such as: intelligent/entertaining posts, good syntax, and most importantly, the willingness to engage your audience.

After you have that down, you need to get out there— and make yourself known. Some do it via leaving comments on other big blogs. Some do it by spam—or offering Godly services for free. And, a very small minority get lucky.

With regards to iBC:

Many of you make the mistake, tabbed and non-tabbed bloggers, of only catering to the iBankcoin audience. This is a foolish error.

See, your shit is already here. The site gets good traffic; but you should get out there (blogosphere) promoting your own brand, in order to build a loyal audience. If you were smart, you’d bring in your own audience and simultaneously feed off of iBC. Unfortunately, many of you are not smart. Too bad.

Consider “The Fly” the “Blog Godfather” and you’re my fucking soldiers. Go get me my money (traffic).

I say these things because, sometime soon, iBC will be opening some doors for many of you Peanut Gallery posters, including an opportunity to monetize your thoughts. Just know, blogging is a poor mans job. However, if done with precision and Godliness, you may one day be successful enough to make “The Fly” some more coin.

Godspeed

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38 comments

  1. punyandy

    Brilliantly funny, though I have never heard of this Ducati clown. Sounds like a real assbag.

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  2. howard lindzon

    yes godspeed and than a quick death

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  3. The Fly

    yes godspeed and than [sic] a quick death

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  4. alphadawgg

    That was good. Real good. I liked it.

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  5. Leonard The Monkey

    Fly —

    You are one cocky ass, very intelligent, motherfucker.

    Thanks for the education, great post.

    If you ever stop blogging I’m going to find you and lock you up in my basement.

    With my other slaves.

    Only with you it wouldn’t be a sex thing.

    Hope that helps.

    Leonard.

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  6. BOOMER

    you are too generous with duc. he’s a former community college gym teacher and a shut in.

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  7. howard lindzon

    i just had a ducati on the rocks

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  8. boca

    Love it. You have reawakened my latent desire to blog.

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  9. boc@

    Love it. You have reawakened my latex desire to flog.

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  10. bocati

    Love it. You have reawakened my flagrant desire to jog.

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  11. Scum Bucket

    You asshats should visit this blog. [sic]

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  12. J

    Truly, I say to yous, the Goldy {sic} Fly nailed Lord Duc to a T, as well as the rest of you 3rd tear {sic} bloggers.

    Behold. Do NOT however, nail the one known as Ducati to a cross and thusly and thinely make a martyr out of him, for he shall not riseth {sic].

    Only the cream shall rise, again.

    Let it be known.

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  13. boca

    Go now, and jog on, bocati. Do it now.

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  14. Woodshedder

    Does this mean we are now again allowed to spam yahoo message boards in order to drive traffic?

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  15. George

    What’s with the partial Feeds? Go back to the full feeds Fly, this partial feed shit sucks.

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  16. mrkcbill

    I made a Ducati after Breakfast.

    Look Ducati has IBC soul.
    VIZ
    ODD NO
    JOG ON
    PAHH
    Drosophila
    El-Midge- whatever the fuck that means.

    You couldn’t ban him with a baseball bat.

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  17. Justin

    Fly –
    Thanks for the advice.

    Don’t forget to click my name. hehe

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  18. Ducati Admirer

    It’s all part of Lord Duc’s grand sinister plan. Lord Duc has, perhaps unwittingly, ascended to Fly-like status in Fly’s own kingdom. For example, Fly often refers to the folks at iBC as godly, and yet he confers the title of “Lord” on Duc. I ask you, is there a higher status than Lord in the Judea-Christian world? (no offense to atheists, agnostics, buddhists, muslims, hindus, etc.)

    Next, Fly is a master storyteller. He knows that all good plots require conflict. Fly expends energy and brainpower writing disparaging posts about his arch enemy, Lord Duc, using many words and phrases regular readers identify with Lord Duc. That sets up the juxtaposition between good and evil, right and wrong, or in other words: the conflict. And it strengthens Lord Duc’s importance. But in doing so, Fly has subconciously elevated Lord Duc to a co-starring role with the Fly, while the average internet leech goes largely unnoticed.

    The myth surrounding Lord Duc is deeply embedded in iBC culture. iBC without Lord Duc would be like watching Batman in a world free of villains. Batman would just be some queer guy wearing tights and a gay cape driving a fast car to Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee. No plot.

    Lord Duc is a genius.

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  19. IBC will ascend, under the skillful guidance of “The Fly”, to heights above Google and Yahoo. Yes, IBC will become more than a first tier blog. “The Fly” is the Chairman of the Board, no less.

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  20. brushbuck

    Regarding Doo Catty:

    Fly is right on as are many others; but do not overly complicate matters. Ducky told us all not too long ago what he’s all about…he loves to argue. I’m sure he would call it “the art of argumentation” or some such fancy phrase. He does not even necessarily believe in the validity of his position.

    Like a top notch debater, he is more than comfortable taking either side of an issue. And so he waits (lurks?) for some to say something whith which he may take umbrage and exception, and then preceed to attack it (them) in the same way that a barnyard chicken goes after a spot of blood.

    So what does this really make Doo Catty? Nothing more than a mental bully. Emphasis here: DUCKY=MENTAL BULLY. Which means, as I’ve said previously, he ha issues…serious personal inadequacy issues. Realizing this, the man is not to be despised nor hated, but rather pitied. Get help, Doo Catty, get help soon. With professional assistance, you could yet be a worthwhile human being.

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  21. Well now, there can only be ONE genius at IBC and since “The Fly” is that genius…………..someone is misrepresenting himself, no? “The Fly” is simply brilliant.

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  22. Mushroomz

    Can I put this on my resume? You know, that I visit iBackCoin like, every third day.

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  23. Tyler

    Please re-install full-feeds.

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  24. buylo

    Fly, I have a proposition for you that can make all of us a whole bunch of Euros: help me to start a Buy Low- Sell High blog. Upon starting it up, we ask Woodie, Danny, RC, Dpeezy, Green Writer, etc, (not necessarily in that order) to start also contributing daily on my site. Then, just as soon as we build a lot of traffic, we start linking and recommending the thousands of daily visitors to iBankCoin. That way, all of yous can benefit greatly from both blogs and make an egregious amount of $ or, if you prefer, Euros or Krugerrands, Deutsch Marks, Saudi Riyals, etc. By the way, have you thought of taking your iBC international? Easy to do, make lots of dough. I did business in 50 countries over 25 years, traveled the Middle East and Far East while you were learning the stock biz from Cramer. In any event, I won’t hold it against you, since at least some of your buddies speak quite highly of you, quelquefois, that’s ‘sometimes’ in French.

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  25. nullpointer

    ducati admirer is spot on – very insightful.

    i find it very interesting that people dedicate mental CPU clicks to analyze the dynamics of this “community”.

    i thought it was just me.

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  26. theman

    what a load of balls

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  27. The Fly

    Buylo:

    Not a fucking chance in hell. However, stay tuned. I may meet you half way.

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  28. Todd

    You seem to like indulging in your self centered ego? How about calming down and stop shitting on everything you put your thoughts into. I don’t know you, but your ego seems divisive and non productive. Just some guy from Qc, Canada

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  29. The Fly

    Fuck Canada.

    How’s that?

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  30. NTRI

    The REAL cause of Global Warming

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  31. Woodshedder

    Todd, hang around for a while, and everything will become crystal clear for you…

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  32. Dinosaur Trader

    Broker,

    I’ve noticed you left a comment on my blog this weekend. Am I to assume you’re trying to boost your traffic, then?

    Meanwhile, now that I have all your blogging secrets, “second tier here I come!”

    -DT

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  33. jeff

    http://teslawasright.blogspot.com/

    **The FED will rape you

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  34. Shock Doctrine
    Shock Doctrine

    Be informed:

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  35. calvino

    Cajun left some of his pawprints on the Google CRM page and a link back to Martay’s blog. Seems they are posting earnings on Wednesday. This piece of crap is going to move off earnings, one way or another. Adam would know all the delta bs on this, however my initial suggestion is a volatility straddle. I am interested to see if the fund clowns will be hedging their bets before earnings and we are in for a three day dump into earnings. Adam, if you are listening.. does the straddle work?

    The duck is just an amateur in the annoyance sweepstakes. Lord Hulbert has been proffering a non=opinion on Marketwatch for thirty years, and getting paid for it. Lord Hulbert is what assholes use to discharge their bowels.

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  36. tuck

    :

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  37. tuck

    tuck says:

    reminds me of the movie Robin Hood…kevin costener as the fly and alan rickman as the sheriff of notingham

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