iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

Special Emergency Message From Your Government

the fly is dead. This website has been seized by the U.S. Government.

Appreciate my candor. Quit being a dick and buy the banks, or we’ll kill you.

Hank Paulson, U.S. Government Bank Bailout Department, Goldman Sachs 

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

34 comments

  1. harry potter

    ZAP! Take some harry magic!
    The banks are now Harry once again!
    Cmon dumbledor!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. Hank Paulson

    I HATE THIS FUCKING MARKET.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. lol

    haha, damn… Who’s first to replace the fly?
    Maybe we should have some “Antifly” take over, and he can tell everyone to buy UYG and DZZ and UYM, and to go long MON

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. JB

    MVIS ? ANYONE.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. vaybor

    How much are you down this month fly? Its great not only to see you wrong about this market but SO wrong

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. MarketRaider

    This week basically blows. Furthermore I have begun to see a disturbing pattern where immediately, and I mean nanoseconds, after I short a financial a representative from said financial will decide to release a statement thereby causing my plan to go horribly wrong.

    First it was LEH and the “I don’t need the money but I will take it anyways by diluting my shares just to show investor confidence” statement and today it is MER and the “fuck you Lehman we don’t even need to show that we don’t need the money by taking money we really didn’t need” shenanigans.

    Paulson are you monitoring my trades or something you Lex Luthor looking bastard.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  7. yankmydoodleitzadandy
    yankmydoodleitzadandy

    “banker” rhymes with “wanker”.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  8. Michael J Fox

    wait a minute… I have a special mission for those willing to accept. Fly has a time machine… hijack it and go save him from the Paulsonists! Just make sure you bring flex capacitor with you before you get him… I would do it, accet I’m a little bit twitchy lately, even for me… too much coffee maybe? Either that or a sideeffect from the 121.1 gigawats!

    Go back in time to 1999 and save the FLY!!!
    (and buy some google, yahoo, AMZN, and MSN while you’re at it)
    Then make a stop in 2000 and make sure you go short tech!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  9. alphadawgg

    Har har.

    How bad is it in Romania?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  10. George Bush

    Hank buddy, you really need to smile more, and radiate fewer energy beams. You’re sending the wrong message to Joe Sixpack.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  11. Joey Bag O Rebate Checks
    Joey Bag O Rebate Checks

    Give me Tax Breaks and rebate checks quickly, I need to buy an Iphone on EBAY… wait crap the stores are all out of Iphones, I guess I have to buy RIMM’s Blackberry then!
    I’ll buy the banks later on my 25% credit card, if I have any left over!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  12. minifly

    I am the seed of fly… My MiniFLY Buy today is SMN @ $35.40 today.
    I also bought SKF @ 100, which I now nickname “Sickfest” If you trade it, you will often be left feeling sick…
    Probabale cause, the CIA and the government’s special “influenze stimulous package”, designed to kill shortsellers.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  13. ottnott

    SRS is determined to become the first double-inverse ETF to become a buy on its dividend yield.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  14. haileris

    Commodities look like they’re in for anal rape tomorrow …

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  15. MarketRaider

    SMN is about to fondle its declining trend line at about mid 33’s. Looks like near there, give or take 50 cents, is a good time to go long this bastard. Stochastics look oversold and there seems to be a positive divergence on the MACD.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  16. alphadawgg

    Hank Paulson is the offspring of Lex Luthor. Hence, the penchant for world domination.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  17. MasterDebater

    The Fly is dead. Long live the Fly.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  18. Q4

    “and you can have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down, I will make you

    Hurt

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  19. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    I wonder when they will bail out the price of oil? Its dropping too low. How bout a MON bailout?

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  20. No One

    MarketRaider, how is that different from rest of the market? everything looks overbought, yet market doesn’t react.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  21. Big Mike

    I’m getting bullish…on a technical basis, but not fundamental. Although if this was the market bottom, that has to be SHORTEST bear market ever in the midst of the greatest financial crisis…can anybody confirm this?

    Tomorrow is a big day, we are very near resistance level.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  22. buylo

    FLY, how can this be? a few days ago you were +30% and now you are thinking of renting a room in Roomania? When are you changing your moniker “I have seen the future…” Better wait, jobs report in AM. Just keep thinking “I’ll be baack”, the time machine will fly again.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  23. Ralph, polyp in "The Fly's" colon
    Ralph, polyp in "The Fly's" colon

    Is it true that after His testimony, several senators tried to hit Bernanke up for some high dollar personal loans , claiming that they were upside down in their third and fourth homes….?……..also, looking down from where I sit, earlier today I got a glimpse of a shower drain…..

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  24. Dinosaur Trader

    Gap,

    Great call… MON definitely in need of a bailout. It’s too big to fail. If it dips below $100, I hope the government comes in to save it (and by extension, us).

    -DT

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  25. aris

    trade the market you have, not the one you want.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  26. nncoco

    I hear and obey. I will never bet against the illuminati again.

    I’ll pay income tax twice this year if you will find it in your mercy to not kill me and my family.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  27. Q4

    even your cousin might get a bailout.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080403/ap_on_re_us/prisoners_early_release

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  28. ottnott

    Most states begin their new fiscal year on July 1.

    No bailout from the Feds for them. They will be releasing people from jails and payrolls both.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  29. MasterDebater

    Fly’s rotting corpse asked me to post this article from the future (dated April 4, 2008 — check it out) regarding the sucker punch that is a bear market rally.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/main.jhtml?xml=/money/2008/03/31/ccview131.xml

    PS: The Fly, much like that Man from Galillee, is planning on arising from the dead.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  30. Juice

    Colbert understands how the economy works better than Hank.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  31. JakeGint

    Don’t look now, but MaVIS looks like a buy again.

    Freakin’ Lazarus!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  32. Flux Capacitor

    Fuck you Hank, and fuck your banks. You commie bastard.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  33. Michael J Fox

    Flux Capacitor, You’re just what we need to save fly!
    Come back in time and transport him back to the future, so he can be here alive!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  34. MarketRaider

    No One,

    It isn’t different than the rest of the market in a general sense. I am merely pointing out, from a purely technical point of view, a particular setup on a stock that might bounce of its trendline. My trading style, for the most part, is quick intraday trading and out cash at the end of the day so a setup like this might benefit those who trade that style.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"