iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,842 Blog Posts

Supreme Asshat of the Week Award: Cramer

I know, it’s too easy to pick on the hyper-active bald guy on tv. After all, it’s a tough racket; not many can muster the energy to wear all of his fucking hats. Unless, of course, you snorted an eight ball of coke off of your Red Bull can, every morning, before coffee.

However, I should let you know, Jim is well deserving of severe criticism for his constant fucktarded market calls, while pounding his chest—like a spastic King Kong.

For example: Three weeks ago, Cramer was calling for the end of the stock market, as we know it. Shit, things were so bad, he said we could drop 2,000 points in a single day. Talk about alarmism.

However, immediately following Bernanke’s rate cuts, the once hated Fed in “Cramerica” became a “friend,” enabling Jim to say we were going straight up and shit, “without any pullbacks.”

My favorite “Cramerism” is his recent story about foreign bankers in a bidding war for the worthless assets of [[BSC]]. Shoot, that comment right there deserves immediate asshat awards, no matter how low supply is.

Finally, he’s already discounting the recession, before it happens, suggesting his viewers pile into “early cycle plays”—such as banks, brokers and retail. Then, upon a dip, he tells people to expect these stocks to trade lower?!?!

As you know, I could go on and on—forever. I mean, just today, he pounded the monkey drums on retail, following today’s short covering rally. Anyone who reads his blog, on realmoney.com, knows he contradicts himself three to four times per day.

Sometimes, on special days, he reverses positions within an hour or two—making my realmoney.com subscription entirely worthwhile, yet meaningless

Hence, Cramer gets a “Supreme Asshat of the Week Award.” Take it bro, and run with it.

Congrats.

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68 comments

  1. JakeGint

    Of the new century, perhaps.

    ____________

    In breaking news, much to Dinosaur Trader’s chagrin, Exxon says “Fuck You, Commies!”

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  2. mrkcbill

    Saw Cramer on CNBC this morning. Had his sleeves all rolled up and shit jumping around screaming looking for his buzzers. He made me so nervous,I actually switched to FBN…of course they were airing some crap about the Chinese New Year.

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  3. Leonard The Monkey

    Buy Buy Buy – there won’t be any dips, straight up from here!!!!

    next day

    sell sell sell – all rallies must be sold – Bear Market!!!

    next day

    wait… what day is it?

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  4. Q4

    It makes for good TV. A stuttering BOOYAH from the West Coast Los Angeles, CA. SkeeDaddy. The Cramer picture is classic.

    The Finer Things

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  5. Juan McCain

    Conservatives:

    Vote for me, por favor. Me gusto Ronald Reagan.

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  6. Leawoodblues

    This shit should achieve gold glove award status.

    Where guy’s like Cramer or Mozillo get mentioned in the press and they make a color comment like….”yeah, and you know he’s a five-time Asshat of the Week winner”.

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  7. Cajun

    “Unless, of course, you snorted an eight ball of coke off of your Red Bull can, every morning, before coffee.”

    Love it!

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  8. Alvari40

    Fly,

    I love you. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

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  9. Danny

    Cramer is hilarious. Pure comedy.

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  10. negativeOne

    In early 2007 (Feb or Mar), Cramer was on his show and he blabbed for 10 minutes about how you should not buy tech. He was serious. He was passionate. He was Cramer. Then, he recommends 8 freaking tech stocks. Not the next month. Not the next week. Not the next day. Not the next segment. The recommendation came immediately after his 10 minute speech.

    Cramer truly deserved this award. Booyah!

    By the way, when is Dennis Kneale getting his own show? Kneale-nomics?

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  11. Alvari40

    What I like, is the disdain that they are showing for each other on the shows. It’s like a fucking time bomb ready to blow. You have Santelli v. Cramer, Gasparino v. Griffeth (I actually heard Griffeth on air say that he was “sick” of Gasparino), etc. And then there is Kernen pouring fuel all over the fires with his shit eating grin every fucking day. I can’t wait for the cat fights to start. Danny said it best….pure comedy.

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  12. DPeezy

    That picture has been saved and shall be looked at every time I need a pick-me-up after losing money.

    That’s gold, Jerry, GOLD!

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  13. calvino

    About time you gave the magic talking baboon his due. A lifetimg achievement asshat award would not be unworthy.. the first inductee into the asshat hall of fame.

    Santelli and Gasparino dominate the mealy mouthed clowns on there. Kernen is alrite, the last three weeks. Even permabull Pisani is alrite, he just doens’t want to see people get fucked in a bear, though that is exactly what most of them need – a long hard one from the urso and some manual labor skills for their post traumatic experience life.

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  14. JJ2000426

    Please congratulate me! I made it to the Seeking Alpha editor’s picks today:

    http://seekingalpha.com/tag/editors-picks

    The article is this:
    http://seekingalpha.com/article/63529-investing-in-a-resource-constrained-world-part-ii

    South Africa is desperate:
    http://www.poweralert.co.za/poweralert3/index.php

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  15. Spaulding Smails

    Bloomberg columnist Caroline Baum speaks to the non-borrowed reserves thing:

    http://bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=a7EAJelhvLh0&refer=home

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  16. Juice

    JJ: Your need for approval is insatiable.

    Go jerk off or something.

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  17. Juice

    I like Cramer & have a lot of respect for the dude.

    However, he has earned this award like no other.

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  18. Juice

    Asshat of the week, calling for another cut.

    Schlocker!

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  19. Dinosaur Trader

    Fly,

    When does JJ get an asshat award? Or is it too obvious?

    Meanwhile, Jakey, fuck Venezuela. Not sure if you were somehow implying I’m a fan of dictators. If so, I’d like our current VP more.

    -DT

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  20. boca

    Maybe we should mail him a real AssHat in honor of his award. I’d be happy to contribute.

    He deserves this award right down to his underpants, and although it’s early, I nominate him for the Asshat of the year 2008.

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  21. jeff -

    Fly – time to go to Romania

    http://www.zshare.net/download/7316022e901b5a/

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  22. CubsRock

    Heh, looks like Erin Burnett had a long night. Maybe she spent all night smacking Cramer.

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  23. JakeGint

    Deets, no I would never imply you were “a fan of dictators.”

    I’m only implying (and “saying,” really) that you are a fan of communism.

    For instance, Barak Obama is about half a step to the right of that fucktard Chavez in Venezeula.

    Obama, too, wants to nationalize an industry — just not a small one like Chavez has done– but one that makes up one seventh of our economic output.

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  24. JJ2000426

    Damn it I do not need the FLY’s approval. He is been proven a tough nut to crack. I keep telling people to buy PAL and SWC for the benefits of the people who read here. These two stocks are going up up and away and still no one interested in making money?

    I am talking about gaining at least 30 fold return in 3 years, maybe shorter time!!!

    The article is No. 9 on the Seeking Alpha editor’s picks:

    http://seekingalpha.com/tag/editors-picks

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  25. DPeezy

    Yeah, thanks JJ, I think we got the message.

    Those who believe you have already gone out to buy, I’m sure. The rest you will just aggravate by your broken-record comments.

    Move along.

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  26. JakeGint

    I wonder if JJ is related to Beannie?
    ___________

    Spaulding!

    I read your article, and please don’t confuse me with the tinfoil hat types, but I’m still a bit wary. For instance, this woman blows off the whole TAF thing without any discussion of why they’ve instituted it in the first place, and with no discussion of the asset side of the balance sheet.

    This quote in particular left me uneasy:

    This gentleman is overlooking the fact that the Fed is “a monopoly provider of reserves,” said Jim Glassman, senior U.S. economist at JPMorgan Chase & Co. “This is a non-starter. There is no such thing as a banking system short of reserves. The Fed has absolute control over the supply.”

    There may be times, such as late last year, when banks are reluctant to lend to one another for a period longer than overnight. “And any one bank can have a problem” funding itself, Glassman said. But in a world where “the Fed can print money, there is no shortage,” he said. “The banks get the reserves they want.”

    Oh, happy day, we’re the Weimer Republic.

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  27. calvino

    The french shower bags seem to have the tape yet again – there go the first solars, and there go Amazon fucking investors money instead of giving it back to them. Covered.

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  28. Woodshedder

    Seeking Alpha started out as a good idea.

    Now, it is just trash.

    What is the difference between Seeking Alpha and third tier blogs? Nothing.

    What is the difference between Seeking Alpha and a yahoo message board? At least Yahoo makes a profit.

    SA editors let anyone write anything, not matter how poorly researched it is; no matter whether one is just talking their position.

    Utter crap.

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  29. JJ2000426

    DPeezy:

    Unfortunately you can not speak for the FLY. It looks like he still has not got it yet. If he is convinced and buys some PAL and SWC, and he starts to pitch PAL like he used to do with the loser MVIS, then I move on. I used to waste time pitching on the message board of the penny stock MVIS just because the FLY is too stubbrun, once he sold MVIS, I no longer visit that loser message board. So I have been reasonable.

    PAL up 8.43% and SWC up 3.89% today! There are fewer and fewer losers here who still refuse to listen to me.

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  30. Spaulding Smails

    Jake,

    I’m not trying to bash you with this stuff; I appreciate your opinion. I know you’re not a tinfoil hatter: that data series is uneasy-making for sure, and you know more about it than I do. (But Alcoa should be paying residuals to some of the people posting elsewhere on the issue.)

    I’m just trying to drag in semi-relevant stuff as I find it to stimulate discussion.

    Me, I just want to stack loot like Porterhouse. Dude has a handful of money every time I see him.

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  31. JakeGint

    “Me, I just want to stack loot like Porterhouse. Dude has a handful of money every time I see him.”

    You mentioned porterhouse last night and I thought you were talking about your dinner. Who is “Porterhouse?”

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  32. JJ2000426

    Make it PAL up 9.04% and SWC up 5.14%. And that is just the beginning. Why do you guys hate making money, eh? I have never seen a more stubburn group of nuts to crack.

    The FLY, buy some PAL and SWC, hold for 3 years for wonderful gain. And Pitch these two stocks to your visitors. Once you do that I will move on and crack the next tough nut to crack. You are the toughest one, I spend 6 months just on you!

    Writting Seeking Alpha articles is 100 times easier.

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  33. JakeGint

    Thinking of shorting MA here and buying UNG.

    Comments?

    (PS — whatever happened to CrudeTrader?)

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  34. Spaulding Smails

    @Jake:

    See item 16 on this page:

    http://imdb.com/name/nm0204739

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  35. CubsRcok

    DUG looks good here. Wish there was a more direct way to play oil prices.

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  36. Alvari40

    I am rounding out my long UWM and XLF position right now by adding my final block. This may have been the ultimate sucker week for me; however, with all of the bad news that came out this week following the drubbing on Monday, I believe the shit is cooked in for the short term and we churn higher (no huge push up in my opinion). CSCO should have destroyed the market yesterday – but no. Huge risk is shit hitting the fan over the weekend. I am looking to hold this position for one solid week.

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  37. Helicopter Ben

    Wish there was a more direct way to play oil prices.

    USO?

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  38. buylo

    ref. woodshedder note on Seeking Alpha above, rumour has it that the Fly is preparing a major article for SA – developing…

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  39. Dinosaur Trader

    Shorting 10k SWC here…

    -DT

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  40. JakeGint

    Spaulding– ah! Got it… did not realize you were making a CS reference. That was one of about ten films we had “in the rotation” in our room group in college. For the life of me, however, I didn’t remember old Porterhouse…

    He was the “wax buildup” guy, yes?

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  41. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    MON shorts getting the homo hammer of ass plungers.

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  42. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    DT: Interesting what took it up so much lately?

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  43. are we paying attention?
    are we paying attention?

    CF results and wheat, presumably. See TNH blurb on notablecalls. Traders don’t seem to care that half of profits are about to be given away; it’s party time!

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  44. Spaulding Smails

    @ Jake,

    Yes, “wax buildup”, but also “Fifty bucks the Smails kid picks his nose” ..

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  45. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Why is no one shorting GPS here? I mean this pig has run like no other.

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  46. Dinosaur Trader

    Gappy,

    I’m just tweaking JJ… it was put on some focus list.

    Oh, and JJ’s been plugging it for the last 9 months. People have finally figured out that he’s a genius afterall.

    -DT

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  47. Alvari40

    Are there any DAYTRADES out there? I need a fix.

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  48. Mushroom Stamp

    There is an endless supply of rubes who constantly bitch about Cramer. Do you people watch CNBC all day long? If you buy a stock simply because Cramer told you to, and you didn’t do any of your own due diligence, THEN YOU DESERVE TO LOSE MONEY. Stop blaming your crappy life on Cramer.

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  49. Alvari40

    Mushroom,

    If you note, we do it after hours because we are fucking bored and enjoy the jockularity of it all. The losers are the ones that actually discuss that shit during banking hours. Wait…..does that mean????? Ahhh, you got me!

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  50. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Focus list or not the thing is up 100% in 2 weeks.

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  51. Alvari40

    gapping,

    I am gonna take the GPS short here on the overbought nature of its 30 minute chart. Volume has dried up to the upside as well.

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  52. Alvari40

    MVIS followers:

    Up over 9% today on fairly strong volume. Nice breakout bar if we close above 2.80 today. Yeah, yeah….I’m still holding this shit.

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  53. calvino

    fslr if you need a quick day trade fix -pig refuses to look over its shoulder at the s and p. thinks we owe it something for the bloodletting on weds

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  54. calvino

    ugly shoes also turned red .. sell those boot tapmons as well.. 40

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  55. Alvari40

    Calvino,

    Thx for that. I will take a look. Daily chart shows the turd rolling over once more.

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  56. JakeGint

    Lung Sac: I feel bad about your XLF longs, so here’s one that should be painless.

    Short GES here with an approximate cover target of about $34.25. Cover your short on any break above $38.

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  57. optimatis

    you wanna know what a cramer is ??

    cramer comes from german “Krämer” .. thats a chandler, huckster, monger or grocer ..

    so you know what BIG deals a cramer does …

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  58. Alvari40

    Jake,

    Ahhh…..thanks for the sentiment. It’s hard being me sometimes.

    Thx for the GES trade – will give it a look.

    Gapping – thx for the GPS trade – working out so far based on my trade off the 30 min chart.

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  59. gappingandyapping

    Alvari I still hold MVIS too. Just sold 5000 at 2.76 and will continue to let out some that I bought in the low 2’s. Its moving well

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  60. HJ

    how abt NYX call on Friday @ 82.xx before earnings on Tuesday…..it puked $11 after the earnings….i pity those poor souls who bought NYX @ 82

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  61. JJ2000426

    Dinosaur:

    I am not a genius. I am just willing to spend my time researching fundamentals of the metals, and I have a strong convinction to stick to it. With that kind of attitude it is hard not to make money at the end of day.

    The worst mistake will be to sell too early. I am committed to hold for a few years to rip 30 fold profit. I am committed to add position on the way up, as my buying power increases. That way hopefully I can make 30^3 = 27000 fold, instead of merely 30 fold.

    The PGM metal rally is unstoppable. My ultimate dream will be commerciallization of Cold Fusion. That will make me a billionaire overnight, and save the world at the same time. No one in the world has done both at the same time! Getting rich and save the world!!!

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  62. Dinosaur Trader

    Holy shit…

    -DT

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  63. Govtbonds

    Yo Cramer your so fake and a fucking sell-0ut. no direction, bang ya chest ape man. Cramer you don’t know shit about stocks.

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  64. Govtbonds

    Man you have no direction where the market is going. I’d rather get stock information from a taco bell worker. Sold your soul for TV ratings, you suck!

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  65. Jim Cramer

    Man o man… You guys REALLY know how to pick em!

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