A Very Tricky Tricky Rape Tape

If you entered today thinking tera caps were going to strum higher — you were met at the door with a metal pipe to your face. MEGA CAPS were annihilated amidst rancid breadth. The Nasdaq shed nearly 100 points and all trading patterns were UPROOTED, making for a very devilish day.

I was placed into the meat grinder and GRILLED on the stove medium rare and eaten whole, a loss of 2.9% for the session. I closed out with a blend of really shitty stocks and SQQQ — 70% cash. I am mindful of my inability to capture the essence of certain trading days. Everything I sold gapped higher and most of the things I bought plummeted with great alacrity.

When in these squalls, I find it best to keep pushing and never really walking away from the terminal. While I might end up losing every cent in my trading account, it’s not likely to occur. Also, I have a long and storied, some might say rich, history in being able to outmaneuver cantankerous tapes, which is what this is. Do not pretend to enjoy this sort of market — the uneasiness of apocalyptic fundamentals paired nicely with a printing press to make all of the baddies go away. But sometimes, and this goes without saying, the bad guys really do win and you’re left in a murderhole counting your own fingers of your severed arm.

I do not pretend to know the exact direction of the market. But we are in October, a month infamous for market dislocations and calamity. I would not be surprised, nor disappointed, to see us down 10% within a fortnight.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to perfectly time markets “with the tools available to me” because I was the best god damned trader who ever lived. I drank the kool-aid and laughed gayly, as markets reversed and stoned into a concrete cinderblock. Now everything is fat and black, sad even. I have been stopping out of the shit I own with mechanical precision — locking in loss after loss in a foreboding whir of apathy and helplessness.

I even took out a hedge in the hopes it would time a market bottom, in the blackest of all humorous trades.

Sorry, I had to take a 5min break to liquidate my entire trading account — save SQQQ — as it went to session lows -285bps. The emotional tumult is too much of a burden when already in a deep hole. Losses multiply when you try to make it back. Having said that, if I am going to trade back — I need a clean slate and all of the FUCKHEAD positions I had weren’t working. I looked at them, right in their stupid faces, and said “I would not buy you right now”.

Grounds for liquidation.

Since I’ve done this, understanding the malevolent nature of the stock Gods, I would not be surprised if we bottomed here. This is the way markets work. The pull and push make you do things that press envelopes and before you know it — you’re in the fucking sauce drowning. I will not be a party to any of that and would rather fuck off for the remainder of the day, spending some quality time at the Grande Druid Lodge, than sit here and watch myself flag.

Some perspective, I am +5% for the month, coming off a +8% September. My trials and tribulations are mere pit-stops en route to hedonistic orgies.

Markets are higher by 90 Dow points this morning, in what I consider a ‘garden variety’ melt up. Unfortunately, at least for me, I am BOGGED yet again — lower by 130bps — thanks in large part to SRNE. I sold it this morning for a crisp 13% loss. The reasons as to why it went lower — I don’t give a fuck.

Stated goal for today: trade back to breakeven and then thrust forward. I will conduct 1 million trades if needed. I went lower yesterday and being lower today, amidst a strong market, relegates me to the trash heap of traders. Ergo, and this goes without saying, this is unacceptable.

Separately, banks are strong today, due to strong earnings. I have very little negative things to say about today’s set up, so I am eager to get out there with the tools that I have available to me and trade god damn it.

I had a good thing going. My quantitative investments were working on my behalf. My trading room in Exodus was working autonomously, with other traders stepping up and banking coin. I had a delightful morning filled with nature and exercise and high quality food.

Upon returning, I chanced upon a BLONDE BITCH, ticker symbol BDR. It was running and I was barely invested, having went into the close yesterday 95% cash. I took a minor position and then proceeded to eat a piece of pumpkin pie, some coffee, listening to wonderful music — having a grande olde time with lots of gratuitous laughter due to the banter inside of the Pelican Room.

Then the bitch went lower and I had to decide: “do I double down and perhaps initiate the MARTINGALE STRATAGEM, or cut my losses at 10%?”

I doubled down and inside 15mins, the WHORE ran higher. I was almost breakeven and I boasted with a chest filled with hubris, something along the lines of “BET AGAINST CAPTAIN FLY, AND YOUR ENTIRE FLEET SINKS!” Immediately afterwards, the BLONDE BITCH took me for my coin and dove to $1.50, where I locked in a 17% loss on a double sized position — ruining an otherwise picture perfect day — removing 250bps from my irrevocable trust.

I then attempted to trade back, and made some minor headway — but eventually ceded the day off by 150bps, 65% long — heavily and heartfully long a pastiche of COVID-19 plays — because the world depends on it.

FML.

My trading account is only populated with one stock and its an evil one: TZA. I am betting against America with 5% of my account and there is nothing you or any of your stupid friends can do about it. I actually just strolled into work now — almost 12pm. Can you believe it? I didn’t feel like working today, so I didn’t. Typically, under different conditions, I might force myself to “work hard” and be industrious. But today I felt like exercising and then eating an Acai bowl, enjoy the North Carolinian weather — while you northern monsters froze to death in front of computers — attempting to enrich yourselves by trading poorly.

Now that I am back in the saddle, I’ll get back to trading again — making it great. My Quant, which is fully invested, is higher by 1.5%. And, as you know, TZA is moderately higher. I chose TZA yesterday because I saw a major divergence between large and small caps. Small caps are lower by more than 1% today and I suspect, if I’m being perfectly honest with you, that I will eventually get FUCKED AGAIN on TZA if I don’t sell it soon. Betting against this farce of a market has been a fool’s errand.

I have no big revelations or galaxy thoughts now. We have a moderate market today and the only outlier is silver, off by 3.9%.

Back to work.

In my previous mental health entry into this blog, “The Fly” was running hot — involuntarily punching people in the face as he sashayed throughout his office banking obscene amounts of coin — quite literally making money at will. Since then, markets stopped cooperating and momentum stalled out and dropped off the table. Aside from a few CHINESE FUCKING BURRITOS, nothing was worthwhile.

I ended up selling every god damned stock I had, sans my Quant, and am left with dick in hand and a 5% position in TZA.

How did I come to this? How did this happen?

Well, for one — this bitch of a market only pumped blood into tera cap high gamma squeezes, depriving all other segments of the market to rot in hell. Mega cap breadth was 85%, whilst smaller cap piece of shit just 45%. The net result was big dicked hedge fund managers bathing in splendor while the Robinhood fuckers shot out from a cannon and directly into a wall.

I fall in neither group and closed out the session +0.45% on my trading — because I am a King amongst plebs. The monthly directly quant closed higher by 0.65%.

Tomorrow I endeavor to split heads open and eat the brains of my enemies. Also, I think the market topped today, so there’s always that to chew on as you nervously chud around for the remainder of the day.

Imagine a life where you can sashay into the office, apply money to a set of letters and numbers and then see your fortunes increase, at will. The more money I apply to these letters and numbers — the more money I make. Today, I felt like making 1-2% on my money. Having a small portion of my liquid net worth invested, I merely traded to increase my brokerage accounts, on demand.

I just closed out WIMI for a +9% trade. Before that,  I did IH for +4%, then APHA for +4.4%, then SOLO +4%, then JMIA +5%, then RIOT +7%.

Listen to me.

I make money at will. If you choose to place bets against me, you will end up on the ass-end of foreclosure proceedings — wife, kids, everyone leaving you.

The plan for the balance of the day is to head back into the markets, with the god given talents I have been bestowed, and make even MOAR money. I do this, not because I need money or even because I like money, but because I can.

In a world of wanton pandemics and political upheaval, find solace in the fact that you are healthy and do not live in shit-holes like Portland or Seattle. Whenever I reflect upon my life, I never think about the grim circumstances of aging and/or the specter that one day I’ll be too old to play tennis. Instead, I go online and see people running around without jobs, ripping down statues — interrupting people during dinner with megaphones — demanding they salute them and heed their cause — and I feel better about myself. I really do.

My life is, for lack of a better word, charmed. I do what I want when I want to do it. Today I woke up and sold WKHS for a 14.4% gain. Then I proceeded to buy various securities, a little of this and a little of that — just because I felt like it.

I do not consider myself luckier than most — just much smarter and driven.

To that end, markets have springboarded higher again, in a “I don’t give a fuck” manner. I am 55% cash and looking to allocate into more as the morning melds into afternoon. Stocks on the radar include cannabis and crypto related plays — but there will be more. We are in a period of grande success and depravity. Almost anything can and will shoot higher. Your focus should be on selling the runners before they fade, for they’re always short-lived — just like poorly planned out insurrections.

Here’s an interesting thing to consider, as the leaves turn orange brown.

If this year’s flu season is worse than expected, coincided with this COVID shit, will everything shut down again like last year? If so, does it even matter or do PPP loans of the forgivable nature mask over the temporary downturn and will shutting down the economy leave scars?

I read a report that said we would not get back to 2019 levels until 2025.

The winners are large companies with access to capital and the losers are everyone else. This scourge is helping to expedite what has already been occurring, the dissolution of small mom and pop businesses.

Try to remember the stock market isn’t representative of the economy any more. That’s where many bears go wrong, thinking any of this stuff matters. It doesn’t. The stock market is a perverse casino where tricks are used to buoy prices higher. Whenever those prices go down and the old tricks stop working, they make up new tricks and new rules to help out.

Those tricks haven’t helped the oil or retail sectors, however. And it’s worth noting, sacrifices will be made — winners anointed and losers left for dead. In this regard, we still have a market. Heading into the elections, a horribly divisive event to make Americans hate each other and fixate on things they really do not control, you have to figure out who wins under both candidates. Whatever you find, do the exact opposite, because that shit has already been priced in.

I am quite literally the single best trader you will ever come across in your entire lives. You could live to 1,000 years and never chance upon someone like me.

I barreled into the afternoon session with modest gains of 0.3%, mostly cash and then proceeded to apply coin into a market that did not move from +160 and came out the other end +150bps.

How did I do it? I fucking bought high and sold higher.

The single most important aspect to trading, as in life, is confidence. I am confident as fuck because of my long, rich, and storied history — which you could read about, at least the early years — via my two books published on Amazon. In order to get to where I am — confidence wise, you need time. During that time, you will make a pastiche of errors, mostly technical — but also some due to limited intelligence. As the years wane and your beard grows thick and gray, your mind will begin to communicate better with your fucking eyeballs and VOILA! — you will be a master ace stock trader.

Or, if I might offer an alternative timeline — you can sit there morbidly obese and slothful and eat the fucking fish (Exodus) that I provide for you. There isn’t and  never will be another Le Fly, Master Ace Trader (M.A.T.), proprietor of the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) — Space Alien Magician (SAM).

I bid you farewell and I look forward to bowling on my enemies with great alacrity — first thing Tuesday morning.