I Don’t Know How Else to Tell You This

I am quite literally the single best trader you will ever come across in your entire lives. You could live to 1,000 years and never chance upon someone like me.

I barreled into the afternoon session with modest gains of 0.3%, mostly cash and then proceeded to apply coin into a market that did not move from +160 and came out the other end +150bps.

How did I do it? I fucking bought high and sold higher.

The single most important aspect to trading, as in life, is confidence. I am confident as fuck because of my long, rich, and storied history — which you could read about, at least the early years — via my two books published on Amazon. In order to get to where I am — confidence wise, you need time. During that time, you will make a pastiche of errors, mostly technical — but also some due to limited intelligence. As the years wane and your beard grows thick and gray, your mind will begin to communicate better with your fucking eyeballs and VOILA! — you will be a master ace stock trader.

Or, if I might offer an alternative timeline — you can sit there morbidly obese and slothful and eat the fucking fish (Exodus) that I provide for you. There isn’t and  never will be another Le Fly, Master Ace Trader (M.A.T.), proprietor of the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) — Space Alien Magician (SAM).

I bid you farewell and I look forward to bowling on my enemies with great alacrity — first thing Tuesday morning.