A Dickly Update

Check me out at my new boiler room, Ladenburg Thalmann, ticker [[LTS]].

–Dick Bove, Bucket Shop Analyst, LadenBurg  

With oil approaching $120 per barrel again, thanks to some fucking cavemen in Nigeria, we all should be kissing the shoes the oil companies walk on. See you guys are too stupid to understand what’s going on. “The Fly” understands and is on top of this oil boom, like a cat on a milk bowl.

I am thrilled to pay more at the pump, positively thrilled. We, as Americans, have a duty to support the oil interests of the Middle East, in order to create jobs over there.

Why worry about Ohio, when there is plenty of shit going on in Dubai?

See, we live in a “global world,” where everything is one, aside from heart disease—which still belongs to us. However, [[MCD]] is trying to remedy that. Anyway, do not get upset at the oil companies for raping you at the pump. Your hard earned money is “building a bridge” to our “friends” overseas.

On today’s oil spike, a myriad of stocks are screaming higher. My favorites are [[BEXP]], [[GLBL]], [[EOG]] and [[OXY]].

The banks are up too much, too quickly. I am selling out of all my banking plays, with the exception of [[LAZ]]. In addition, I will redouble my efforts betting against the morons at [[LEH]]. And, just to fuck with Ducati, I will triple my [[SKF]] position.

Aside from that, I am looking to milk a few pesos from [[NILE]]. The company is due to report earnings tomorrow. Honestly, being long the stock into earnings scares the devil out of me. I want to pare down my position prior.

Long [[FXP]] and [[FMCN]] makes sense to me. And, long [[REW]] and [[NVDA]] seems like a winner. By the way, NVDA is due to report numbers this week. Scary.

At the moment, money is coming out of tech/financials and going back into “ag plays,” much to my chagrin. Oh Lord I despise the shares of [[POT]]. My short position is very small, so do not think I am worried—because I’m not.

Fuck you.

Nonetheless, I will be patient.

Top picks: SKF, FMCN

UPDATE: ISM data showed growth. Full steam ahead.

When visiting this blog, keep in mind, I do not want you here. You are unwanted guests. If it were up to “The Fly” there would be no traffic stats to speak of, just asshattery.

With that being said, my year to date gains are still more than yours, upwards of 12%. I have vast amounts of cash and little in the way of future profits, considering I am traveling in a “pimped out” time machine.

For those of you who doubt the Godly nature of “The Fly,” you shall and will be tracked down and have jelly donuts punched into your chest, especially coming out of elevators.

Finally, it’s worth noting, shares of [[YHOO]] are receiving two “homo hammers of death” to the cranium, as its CEO “Yangs” shareholders with his gay ways.

Developing…

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=q3abMzNazfM 450 300]

NOTE: This has been a paid advertisement by the “Elect Cuervoslaugh” campaign.

UPDATE: We are doing some early polling on the coming elections. Go vote.

Fucking ridiculous. The assholes at [[YHOO]] will feel the “blade of billable hours” for this one.

NOTE: At best, YHOO is worth $18.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZRdnmd9w6E 450 300]

NOTE: This has been a paid commercial by the “Elect GW” campaign.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD0qEfXWP_M 450 300]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwlNKCdtKsg 450 300]

NOTE: This has been a paid commercial by the “Elect Hattery” campaign.

I’m sure “The Fly” is making most of you scratch your heads, thinking “what the fuck is this asshole doing”?

One day I hate stocks, the next they’re grrrreat!

Frankly, I am running, without reason. Currently, I am theme-less. I’m just walking around the forest of fucktards, with rifle in hand, picking off game.

Right now, I am long [[NILE]], [[WB]], [[LAZ]], [[FMCN]], [[CTRP]], [[NVDA]], [[HD]], [[JOE]], [[RIG]], while having short exposure in [[SMN]], [[SRS]], [[SKF]], [[FXP]], [[POT]] and [[LEH]].

By the way, “The Fly” is Master and Commander of the putrid shares of LEH, just like [[HANS]].

Basically, I don’t have the slightest clue, regarding the near term direction of the market. I’m just trying to be in as many plays as possible, taking gains where I can.

I’ll be utilizing my “time machine” this weekend, in order to get a better feel for the near term direction of this God forsaken market.

NOTE: Stay tuned for Hattery’s campaign commercial, immediately following the closing bell.