Jeremy, “Janitor of iBC” Endorses Green Writer

Official Communique From the Office of Jeremy Picohp, iBC Webmaster:

“The office of Jeremy Picohp, consistent with its responsibilities as the janitor of iBC, affirmed today its readiness to endorse the underdog candidacy of Green Writer.”

News analysis: The man behind the man… the Dick Cheney to “The Fly’s” George Bush, Jeremy is not the iBCer you want to fuck with. Hence, I find this endorsement to be significant and possibly game changing. I mean, think about it… he knows who you’re voting for tonight, he knows how you vote in the PG, and he knows who you dole out those negative karma points to… Simply put, he’s like the Santa Claus of iBC, except he doesn’t give out presents and he may be able to shit all over your Internet reputation.

You just don’t know, so why risk it?

REAL WORLD UPDATE: Obama wins the North Carolina primary, Clinton has a small lead in Indiana…

In my role as “egregious moderator” I’ve been lucky enough to hear from a couple of the “regulars” around here. I mean, it’s the Internet, but even so, if you read this site daily, you almost get to know how people are going to weigh in on stuff. I was interested in knowing a little about some of these commenters, and how they planned to vote this evening.

So here is the first of two such interviews… the other, featuring the beloved Jake Gint, will be up a bit later.

DT: Tradercaddy, you’re one of the older visitors to iBC, and while that doesn’t necessarily make you wiser, it probably makes you a little richer, and hence, more important. I, for one, despise poor people. Anyway, how long have you been frequenting “The Fly’s” blog?

TC: For about 20 months.

DT: Other than “The Fly” which tab do you visit most often? Remember, my blog doesn’t apply for this answer because technically, I’m not a member of the gay iBC team…

TC: Adam and then Woodshedder… it was the other way around up to about 3 weeks ago.

DT: Really? Wow… do you want to say some bad shit about Woodshedder then?

TC: No.

DT: Fair enough… but just so you know, Woodshedder thinks you’re a “dick.” True story. Anyway, is your wife hot?

TC: Of course. She’s looking over my shoulder now.

DT: Seriously?

TC: Of course…

DT: Okay, before I get into trouble with that line of questioning, other than yourself, who is your favorite commenter?

TC: Calvino, then Jake.

DT: What are some other stock market blogs that you visit regularly?

TC: 24-Wall Street, Carlfutia, Notable Calls, Ducati (sorry Fly), One Bad Trade, and your illustrious third-tier blog.

DT: Nice selection. OBAT is a member of the VO, so naturally, I have a soft spot for that blog as well… anyway, do you trade for a living?

TC:  Yes.

DT:  What are you looking for in a tabbed blogger?  Humor?  Stock market ideas?  Porn?

TC:  I’m looking for both… I’m looking for humor from “The Fly” and the comments.

DT:  And the porn?

TC:  My wife is still here DT… let’s move on.

DT:  Okay, well… in a related question, is Hillary Clinton a “smelly pirate hooker?”

TC:  She’s just another politician willing to say anything to get elected- only JFK and Ronald Reagan have been worth a crap in my lifetime.

DT: Damn, you are old…

TC: Word.

DT:  Okay, so who are you endorsing to replace Gunner’s tab?  And why do all the other candidates suck?

TC:  It’s a three way tossup right now (honest)-GW,Alpha, Dpeezy (because I always wanted to vote for a gangsta from the hood for something).

DT:  Wow, so no real endorsement there… perhaps we’ll find it later this evening in the comment section then.  Maybe after “The Fly” drops his official endorsement at 10:30.

At this point, our “interview” was abruptly ended as Tradercaddy’s wife forced him to stop talking to “that weird reptile man over the Internet.” Alas…

ELECTION NIGHT NOTICE:  Up next, Jeremy’s endorsement…  

In my role as “egregious moderator” I’ve had the pleasure to interview a couple of the candidates. Below you will find the transcript of an interview that I had with Leonard the Monkey at the Bronx Zoo.

To help set the scene, he had just finished guzzling his own pee and had soiled a group of young children with a mound of his own steaming feces that he threw, underhand, outside of his enclosure.

DT: Do you trade for a living? Or is it just a weird hobby of yours?

Leo: I trade for a living…

DT: Speaking of hobbies, what are your thoughts on pornography?

Leo: It pays well, and supplements my trading income.

DT: Okay, seriously, what kind of trading do you do? How often? And what instruments?

Leo: Day, Swing, Options trading mixed with the occasional investment. I use a Magic 8-ball to tell me where the market is going and to figure out what to invest in. It’s very versatile.

DT: What kind of ideas do you have about your tab? What will make your tab “extra special” and worth reading?

Leo: I think my tab would provide a new type of service at IBC with “in depth” analysis of companies whose stocks have huge potential and probability to move. I’ll post an example Monday in the PG. I include the downside risks to the trade as well. I also have a home made video of Ducati and a sheep that I will post first thing after getting my tab.

DT: Gonzo journalism question… who won the first Peanut of the Month award at IBC?

Leo: You did, oh masterful one.

DT: Good… good… Okay, how old are you? Age discrimination applies here.

Leo: Younger than “The Fly” but not by much.

DT: I don’t like you much…

Leo: I can live with that, I’m DPD free.

DT: Just wanted to see how you faced adversity… Say something bad about another candidate. Go negative before they do… for example, hattery says you’re a “dick.” True story.

Leo: I don’t care if some fucktard called me a dick.

DT: Okay, now assuming you don’t win, who would you like to see win? Remember, I’m not in the running, so you can’t vote for me… go ahead, this is your chance to say something nice about another candidate.

Leo: DPeezy. He’s got a nice fucking pool, yo.

DT: Is Ragin’s blog gay? If yes, why? If not, why not?

Leo: Ragin’s blog is not gay. He has some great pocks and has been doing very well lately. I should listen to him more often.

DT: Maria Bartiromo or Erin Burnett?

Leo: Burnett.

DT: Paul McCartney or John Lennon?

Leo: Lennon.

DT: In a gay way?

Leo: No.

DT: He was really rich…

Leo: Okay… in a gay way.

DT: Is Hillary Clinton a “smelly pirate hooker?”

Leo: Yes.

DT: Do you like gangsta rap? As you know, should you somehow win a tab, you will be forced to listen to that shit all the time.

Leo: I don’t listen to it much.

Our interview was abruptly put to an end when one of Leonard’s handlers “monkey tazed” him and dragged him into a holding pen.

ELECTION NIGHT NOTICE: Up next, a conversation with Tradercaddy followed by Jeremy’s endorsement.

DT DRINK ALERT… on my first glass of pastis… since I’ll be here for another 4 hours, I thought drinking was in order.

DPeezy picks up his second endorsement in a row as Adam, the newest kid on the block at iBC, sides with his fellow options guy on a “hunch.”

News analysis: Adam, while new at iBC is definitely not “virgin new” or anything since he’s been running his own highly respected blog for some time now. This endorsement could pack some punch as word on the Internets is that the Adam’s Options tab is quickly gaining in popularity. However, graybeards wonder if DPeezy hasn’t bounced a bit too quickly in the polls as a result of his earlier endorsement. Is DPeezy overbought at these levels? Time will tell…

Green Writer is experiencing a little lift as well… perhaps because he is being vigorously supported by the VO. Meanwhile, hattery has seemingly dropped out of the race, following BEAS down the long, lonely road of Internet anonymity.

More coming shortly…

This just in, straight from the Gunners Memorial Library for Advanced Egregious Studies…

I Gunners, the former holder of the former ducati blog at iBankcoin.com, hereby endorse Dpeezy in his bid to be elected as the next iBankCoin tabbed blogger. The reasons are clear:

1. He’s an options trader.
2. He’s a gangsta.

If I didn’t vote for him, he said that he would strangle me, while straddling my wife or girlfriend. And he threatened to cover my call while naked, or something like that.

Lame puns aside, DPeezy is smarter than most. He has techniques, he trades based on a strategy. Unlike some of you bloggers that puke out stock picks, giving you very little chance of getting on a hot streak, DPeezy will be able to post about his strategy. Having a strategy will give a loyal reader the ability to track trades, pick out a hot streak, and bank coin. His current blog, while third tier, has continued the tradition of orange. The same orange that you have been missing in your daily iBankCoin visiting life.

So do yourself a favor, vote for DPeezy.

News analysis: Gunners, while his tenure at iBC was short-lived, did a wonderful job at patching up any “bad vibe” left behind by Ducati at his tab and grew to be much loved, as evidenced by the astounding 164 karma points handed out on his Farewell post.

In other words, he has a loyal following, and this endorsement should bring Dpeezy up a few notches in the race. Look for this race to tighten as more endorsements roll in through the night…

IMPORTANT ELECTION NIGHT NOTICE: I imagine a few of you may be waiting anxiously for “The Fly’s” endorsement. Just so no one misses it, I have decided to post his endorsement (which may surprise a few) at 10:30pm.

Most of you know me here, so I won’t make this too long.

I was hired by “the Fly” to help moderate this Godforsaken election. As you know, “the Fly” is quite taken with me and the wondrous ramblings of my third-tier blog.

Whatever you may think about my blog, know this, iBC is my favorite website to visit and I want to see the best tabber win this evening. I like this place and the bloggers here, and I want to see them prosper.

Here’s what you can expect from now until midnight… endorsements by each of the currently tabbed bloggers at iBC. After Gunner’s imminent endorsement, I will be posting the endorsements in reverse chronological order from the date of tab inception… so, Adam, Danny, Woodshedder and then “the Fly.” In other words, expect this race to develop and change throughout the evening.

(NOTE: Ragin has gone and posted his endorsement already on his blog, going “over my head” if you will. Accordingly, I bless Ragin with curses and pray for the destruction of New Orleans this hurricane season.)

I will also post two “getting to know” the candidate pieces, one featuring DPeezy and one featuring Leonard, and interviews with some of the more prolific commenters around here, namely Jake Gint and Tradercaddy, including their endorsements.
Much later in the evening, after I have drank enough cheap beer, a special “celebrity” endorsement will grace this page.

Finally, if time (and sanity) allows, I have more shit planned. So, stay tuned, and check in often, as the content will be thicker than Ducati’s head.

This just in, via the “Elect BEAS campaign:

NOTE: We will be consolidating all iBC videos to our youtube page. I demand you subscribe to iBC’s youtube page at once, and give the videos many, many stars.

UPDATE: I will be signing off, making room for our election moderator, Dinosaur Trader.

Fuck horses. Don’t ever ask me any questions about them.

While stupid bitches on CNBC espouse exuberant bullish behavior, “The Fly” chuckles, not laughs, at them.

I’m joining the party on some retard names, particularly [[RACK]].

In addition, I am buying [[NOV]], like a Texan at a gun store.

Sometime this summer, the market will collapse, in record fashion. All of the lemmings are bidding up [[CLF]], [[X]], [[BIDU]], [[GWR]], amongst other “insane stocks,” as if they had no brains.

I understand the premise behind going long [[C]], [[BAC]] and [[WB]]. But, buying the “global growth story” after 100% moves is asking for trouble.

Case in point: [[CMI]].

Understanding the market is operated by a bunch of coked out malcontents will help you make better investment decisions.

For example: good news is great and bad news is better.

Case in point: [[FNM]].

At the end of the day, the market is just a myriad of emotions, clashing into one another. Don’t get too mad or too gleeful. All you need to know is the refiners will trade down to zero, as oil melts up to $400.

The refiners are the new airlines.

Dick. We are big buyers of Fannie Mae. I suggest you do the same, or we’ll kill you.

Hank Paulson, U.S. Government Fannie Mae Buyer, Goldman Sachs

I bought 20,000 shares of [[RACK]] @ $11.85 and 4,000 [[NTAP]] @ $25.65.

Disclaimer: If you buy RACK or NTAP because of this post, ROBOT FLY will take over this blog. And, you may lose money.