18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,150 Blog Posts

Waiting For a Bounce Can Kill You

Talking with investors, I can tell you, everyone is waiting for a bounce, in order to blow out of their longs.

In theory, waiting for your stocks to trade up, prior to selling them, is a fucking great idea. The only problem: they may not bounce.

Bear markets work like this:

You get into a stock and immediately lose money. Then, on a minor bounce, you almost get back to break even, then BAM: off with your head. Before you know it, the stock is down 30% and you become a long term investor, due to asshattery.

Instead of living out this life of mediocrity, be proactive and blow the fuck out now, instead of waiting around for Mother Market to break your jawbone.

Naturally, we all want to be optimistic and see stocks trade up. However, unfortunately, from time to time, stock markets go lower, effectively wiping out countless hopefuls.

With my money, I am liquidating some stocks in my portfolio’s and buying more inverse ETF’s, specifically [[REW]] and [[FXP]].

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Short the Consumer

“The Fly” is quite busy, so I’ll make this brief.

Aside from my friends & I, everyone is broke. There is no more money to be spent, mainly due to “worldwide gayness.”

As a result, it’s safe to go short all consumer related names, until the coming recession is over.

Seriously, betting against fat mountain bitches, via [[CWTR]], worked. Moreover, betting against stupid shoes with wheels, via [[HLYS]], made you rich-er.

Now, I’m betting against stupid furry boots, via [[DECK]].

Those fucking boots are stupid. Whenever I see them, I get the sudden urge to throw a snowball at the woman wearing them.

God forbid I ever saw them on a man; I might just punch the fur off of his face.

Aside from that, the bear market is back. We’re going lower.

Top pick: Short DECK

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American Psycho to Write Down 15 Billion

John Thain, CEO, Merrill Lynch

The NY Times is reporting, newly hired CEO, John Thain from [[MER]] will write-down a mind-boggling 15 billion dollars.

What the fuck?

How incompetent were all of these fucktards?

Some of you wonder why I am so bearish, all of a sudden. The answer is right in your face, everyday. It’s hard to get motivated to invest in a business that is hemorrhaging money, constantly in need of raising capital.

Basically, all of our big banks and brokerages have been reduced to the equivalent of small cap bullshit companies, with no earnings and constant need to raise money.

With my money, I’ve always made money betting against companies like that.

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As Usual, You Are Wrong

So [[BAC]] steps in to buy the bag of shit Mozilo built, and you think it’s 1998 again?

Seriously, some of you guys are fucking retarded and have no business speaking, or thinking about speaking, to “The Fly.”

No one ever said making immense coin was easy. The market will try its best, everyday, to trick investors.

When things look bad, the market goes up. All of a sudden, the markets roars higher, it’s time to sell. Misdirection at its best.

Look at the airliners. Just the other day, they all looked like hell on a bullet; now they’re ripping the heads off the bears–medieval style.

Some of you are all worried about [[FXP]] going lower and shit. However, “The Fly” has done significant homework on the components of FXP; and he can tell you, if properly motivated, they are 50% overvalued—based upon historical valuation comparisons.

For fucks sake, some of their banks are trading 60x earnings.

Finally, I do not believe the CFC-BAC news will carry much water. Look for a take-under and resumption of asshattery.Keep in mind, none of these deals will help Joey Bag-o-Donuts pay his mortgage.

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The Tanned Rally

On the news that [[BAC]] will buy [[CFC]], prior to bankruptcy, the market is ripping.

My guess, the financials bounce hard here and follow through tomorrow.

I will look to buy back [[SKF]], sub $100.

This market is so damn volatile; my head is spinning.

NOTE: Short oil is still working well.

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Ben’s Helicopter RPG’d

The market is fading. That was gay.

Basically, the Fed just fucked the market, until its next meeting. They should be cutting rates now. Instead, Ben and his dumb friends opted to jawbone Wall Street with promises of lower rates, which got played out rather quickly.

So, barring a surprise rate cut, prepare yourselves for the “homo-hammer of certain death” to rain down on you, as equity prices get knee-capped by Fed inaction.

Top pick: [[DUG]]

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Helicopter Ben to the Rescue

It looks like the Fed is prepared to do some serious rate cutting.

In reality, everyone knows the Fed will cut rates. So, this is not breaking news. Nonetheless, I think people are content with hearing it come from the horses mouth, as opposed to just rumors.

Without a doubt, substantial rate cuts will help the economy, long term. However, short term, nothing changes.

I’m not buying the pop, nor am I shorting it.

I’m just eating snacks and shit.

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