Time for the Retards to Play Catch Up

I double and triple checked with my resident philosopher, chart chomper, astrologer, conspiracy theorist, gangster and Voo Doo Physician, and they all say we’re going north.

As a result, yet again, I covered a myriad of my short positions. I know this type of behaviour [sic] is not the one of a gentleman. Nonetheless, it may sooth you to know, I was drinking Earl Grey tea (with 2 cubes), while buying back shares.

At the present, I am still short [[HDB]], [[VLY]], [[WABC]], [[PACW]] and [[HRB]].

As for my inverse ETF’s, I didn’t change a thing. I am being bludgeoned in them, intra-day. I am long [[FXP]], [[TWM]], [[DGP]] and [[REW]].

To be honest, I am enjoying this melt up. Up until today, the market reminded of that Twilight Zone episode, where that guy was in hell and could not lose. From gambling to chicks, the dude was a winner. Eventually, it got old, drove him crazy, and then some devil guy ended up laughing at him, rather cryptically.

Let the retards (you) catch up and shit, I always say. I’ve been rolling on you goat fuckers for years now, like a cannon ball through legs. However, I warn you; I never lose.

During today’s trade, “The Fly” frantically bought [[UYG]], [[RKH]] and a few other nondescript items.

My thoughts are eloquently communicated in the following paragraph:

Under normal circumstances, the market should rally 200-500 points from here. If it does, I want to milk some of you short selling bastards, via egregious 200% upside ETF’s and other “nondescript items.” At the same time, I will keep my large bets on oil, via [[RIG]]. And, I will keep my meaningful short exposure in place, via inverse ETF’s and selective shorts.

In other words, I want my cake and I want to eat it too.

If you are trading this market, just remember to sell quickly, if you are not hedged or lack the luxury of a time machine.

QED

I bought 2,000 [[RKH]] @ $82.50.

Disclaimer: If you buy RKH because of this post, Cramer will jinx this rally, with another ‘bottom’ call. And, you may lose money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qPgrCFcwFk 450 300]

I bought 15,000 [[UYG]] @ $15.77.

Disclaimer: If you buy UYG because of this post, the NL will never win an All-Star game again. And, you may lose money.

[[VLY]] posted decent numbers. As a result, “The Fly” is an early morning recipient of a claw hammer to the cranium. People get overzealous, buying shit like it’s going out of style.

Look at the [[CLF]] for [[ANR]] deal. That doesn’t prove the materials sector is undervalued. Instead, it displays the stupidity of the CLF management team.

On the [[WFC]] news, banks are trying to rally here. I am always skeptical. However, today I believe they will go up. As a result, I bought a quick 10,000 shares of [[UYG]] at the open. As you know, this is an average down for me.

With oil weak, banks stocks posting good earnings and a few deals getting done, the bulls MUST rally this market. If it cannot run up 200+ points today, they’re fucking doomed.

If you are heavily short stock, I strongly recommend you hedge your bets with some double upside etf’s, like UYG or [[ROM]]

National League=Bank Stocks.

UPDATE: Mr. Mortgage on the wonderful world of housing.

The American League will win and Dan Uggla will make three errors.

Developing…

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FQVG-KYFyQ 450 300]

Poof. Your bullshit closet and market reversal is gone.

-Merlin

Parting thoughts: I thought [[USB]] was ‘best of breed’?

Do not trade the rally, laugh at it. Remember, the Fed is bailing themselves out, via supporting [[FNM]] and [[FRE]]. They (the Fed) are now in possession of 100’s of billions of dollars worth of GSE’s, thanks to their retarded shit for treasury ‘lending facility’ with the investment banks. So, by putting a backstop on the GSE’s, the Fed, essentially, is supporting their new/fucktarded holdings.

The fact that Paulson refused to elaborate on how much this “bailout” of Fannie/Freddie will cost speaks volumes. It is likely to cost American tax payers 100’s of billions.

With my money, I might nibble at some shorts here or buy some more [[FXP]]. However, beware of a sharp rally, led by gay men in florescent jumpsuits, calling another “bottom.”

A bunch of homo bottom lovers, they are.

Once again, just to reiterate logic and reason: [[RIG]] goes higher and so does gold. My favorite way to play gold is [[DGP]]. If you really, really hate the dollar, long [[DGP]] and long [[UDN]] is for you.