Trading Light While Sipping on Rusty Water

Yesterday I was bragging about my home receiving no damage, other than two downed potted palm trees. Then, about 1am, the fucking water transformed into a decepticon and turned red on me. “Wonderful”, I said to myself. As a matter of fact, I always wanted to drink blood from the faucet.

So as I sit here, dealing with the fucktards at DEP, I realized there isn’t any hope for me on this island. It’s time to go and with great brevity.

Stocks opened down and are now trucking over bears, Creep Show style. I am trading light here and will not chase, no matter what. I have about 60% of my assets long, mainly in WNR, DECK and GSVC, and intend to sell more as we go higher. I am not a trend slave and have a great mind about these sort of things. Soon enough, Greece will be back in the headlines and the fucking French will be doing French shit again.

To be blunt, I may open a small TZA call position today, providing this rally extends.

For now, I am simply enjoying this here cup of rusted water, southern hillbilly style, while at all time highs.

I just got home from that fucking rubed out bitch of a whore place in central, PA, where goats and fuckers looking like Abe Lincoln reign supreme. I had a bit of a scuffle at the local pancake house, where the service was way less than acceptable. I make it a rule, never bitch when at a restaurant, just walk the fuck out. Fuck those people running sideways (no idea what the means, but it sounds insidious).

My house survived the storm, unscathed. The only causality was two potted palm trees on the ground. I picked them up just a minute ago, while eating a granola bar.

As you can see, the market melted the fuck higher today. I love it. All of those brilliant risk managers on CNBC getting air time due to the end of the world thesis just got blown the fuck up again, for the umpteen time in so many years. Seriously, you don’t sell when fuckers go on teevee and tell you to go to 0% equities. Look, you don’t let those people manage money for you. They aren’t qualified to run an UGMA; keep them away from your brains.

My investment strategy has evolved a great deal over the years.Before I built The PPT, I used to spend an inordinate amount of time sifting through balance sheets, looking over momentum runs. Now, all of that, and more, is run by my algorithms. Because of this, I am able to trade bigger. My average position size is 10-20% of assets now, up from 5-7%. See when I am buying WNR, DECK, GSVC, VHC or IPGP, I don’t think they are going to trade higher, I know they will. My convictions will either make me richer than a mothefucker swimming in crude oil or carnival poor. Here’s the thing, I’m already rich; I just want to get richer.

For the year, I am up 17% and I am up on my WNR position, now 26% of assets. The whole “never put your eggs in one basket” argument is poor fallacy. If fallacy could be embodied into one fucking statement, that would be it. Look, if you don’t know what you are doing, you will lose. There are no short cuts around that. From time to time, we all fuck up and get lost in a sea of idiocy. The key is to bounce back and stick space swords into your enemies with great swiftness. Typically, I won’t up the size of a single position over 30%. But, I am no longer comfortable with babysitting a bunch of positions, having to run 10,000 trades per month.

I refuse to do that on principal.

Don’t follow this strategy because you will blow up. “The Fly” is on another level, zipping through neighborhoods, vaporizing crops, abducting fuckers from Idaho. During this last dip, immediately, I sold out all non-central stocks and focused on averaging down on core positions on dips. As a result, I am now up on all of them, sitting prettier than Pepe Le Pew, sans the stink, on top of a 42% cash horde.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZW1STjbKSs 603 500]

I booked 10 and 20% gains in IPGP and VHC today, holding them less than 1 week. Additionally, I sold out of my DECK calls, but kept common. Seeing some of my larger positions reversed lower today (WNR, GSVC), I opted for risk reduction instead of cocaine gorilla rally mode.

Frankly, I’ve had my fill for August and prefer to trade light until some things are resolved. Without a doubt, I grade my performance an A+ during this recent debacle, having turned lemons into sweet lemonade.

At the time of my departure from this bullshit hotel, my cash position was 42%.

NOTE: Almost forgot, I sold out of BEE, booking an 8% loss in the process.

This has to be the most frustrating market of all time for bears. I imagine them sitting in a sandbox, playing with ghetto Jack in the boxes. Each time the rap song ends, the Jack in the box pops the fuck out with a 40 ounce of malt liquor and cracks it over their heads.

We have no business going higher; but who cares? The Empire always wins. You didn’t think misfits clad in burlap, like Zerohedge, would win, did you? Pffffffff. The government is shitting on you fuckers and will continue to do so until you are fresh out of cash.

As of right now, I am at new all time highs and we’re not even done with August. If you would have asked me three weeks ago if I thought I’d regain all of my lost coin, AND MORE, prior to September, I’d fucking laugh at you and spit sprite in your face. This is an impossible comeback for me. I was down 8% in early August and now show gains of 17%, up another 2 this morning.

More than that, for my personal account, I’m cutting dicks off (no homo, odd) with my DECK call position, now up more than 100%. In other words, fuck you little short bus fuckers, “The Fly” raises dominion over your ham sandwiches and slaps you with them.

As an aside, I am about to check the fuck out of this Amish hotel and head back towards civilization, which incidentally is under water, littered with assholes with boats. I swear to God, if I see anyone within a 50 yard radius of me kayaking through my neighborhood, I’m running them over with my Lexus. Fuck the consequences, those people need to die

It’s Darwinism coming into play here, gentlemen, in more ways than 1.

I just got an email from one of you little dicksuckers, decrying my pervious post regarding the hurricane. This woman/man/transexual lamented over my seemingly insensitive approach with regards to Hurricane Irene. What this 7th grade child didn’t comprehend is my post was dripping with sarcasm and was aimed at the idiots who minimized the storm as something worth laughing at.

In an attempt to stoop down to your 7th grade reading level, I will address you directly.

Friends of mine have lost their homes. That’s bad. Several friends of mine live up in the Catskills, where people are being evacuated from the rooftops, as small streams transform into raging rivers, totally wiping out towns. That’s also bad. My sister was trapped in a mandatory evacuation zone and my house is perched on Staten Island, a place hardest hit by the hurricane, and I have no idea if my house has a tree through it or not. Once again, I am against these occurrences.

Moreover, while most of you deviants drank yourselves to sleep, “The Fly” was up until 4am, posting relevant news and information for those who needed it.

If you fail to comprehend my wit, I strongly suggest leaving this site and never coming back again. Sir, you are a fucktard, on a very high level. I spit on people of you ilk and pray to the Gods for your instant liquidation from the matrix.

In other news, the markets are unaffected by the storm and look to trade higher, at least for now. Once again, with my money, I like refiners. I’d avoid tech stocks, since they are in the process of blowing up investors via horrendous eps cuts. If you want to buy dips, make sure your company or industry peer isn’t set  to post earnings. They’ve been arm, head, leg, arm, leg rippers.

UPDATE: For those interested in the events occurring in the Catskills. check out Watershed live blogging. She is doing a bang up job.

The hurricane barely killed a dozen people. Of course the hurricane was soooo overrated,  unless you were one of the unlucky dozen. Or, maybe you were one of those losers who fell victim to flash flooding and now find your homes under 5 feet of water.

Oh, and the media, OMGLMAO! The Geraldo Rivera’s of the world were so busy warning people that the storm would be dangerous, for no good reason. After all, tough men can fight mother nature with their own hands. When the flood waters threaten the homes of said tough guys, they throw cigars and beer cans at it and the water recedes.

I know several people whose homes have been rendered uninhabitable.  Trees slammed through the living rooms and water flooded to the top of their televisions. But who cares right? The media should be focused on Libya or the corrupt nature of Obama, instead of this bullshit hurricane Irene.

In closing, as I sift through my Twitter  and/or Facebook streams, I am so pleased to know there are so many brave men out there, unbending to the will of mother nature. These men are monuments to humanity and should be lauded for their bravery, albeit from their very dry and low end computer swivel chairs. Nevertheless, “The Fly” tips his top hat to you, brave man from the internet, and thanks you for being the backbone of this milquetoast society.

I am not there, so I get to skip over the apocalypse. Hurricane Irene is about to descend upon NYC at 950mb. In other words, this shit is going to fuck up my house, which stands on an island, slightly above sea level.

Last night I packed the bags and headed west to central Pennsylvania, where I am now mingling amongst the Amish, building dressers and shit. I just got off the phone with my retarded sister, who happens to be in a mandatory evacuation zone, who has decided with her boyfriend to “tough it out” with sub pumps and shit.

In the words of the great Shepherd (sp?) Smith, “you better know how to swim for a long, long time.”

I will be domiciled in central PA indefinitely, because I am not interested in being inconvenienced by power outtages or floods. Although my house is not in a flood zone, I fully expect it to be swept away by random and insidious tornadoes. I told my wife and kids, “the house is as good as gone. Let’s go live amongst the Amish.”

Fuck this shit. I can buy 10 more houses tomorrow and 100 new ones in this greatly depressed area of central PA.

If you are braving the storm in NYC, you’re a fucking ape and deserve to swim.

Let today serve as proof, once again, that Plutonium Petey zips through the sky in fucking space ships and crushes U.S. equity markets with absolute finality. While many out there got blown the fuck out during this recent sell off, I managed to pull rabbits out of my magic top hat and surge to annual highs, now +15%.

All of my positions are soaring and I still hold a 23% cash position. I intend, during the next PPT Overbought signal, to lighten up and celebrate vis a vis champagne and beluga caviar. So you know, none of you are invited to accompany me during such an occasion.

As some of you fuck up your portfolios, short banks like an extra special bearshitter, I am here to inform you, without equivocation, this market is going the fuck higher.

Mostly everyone got it wrong because they were scared. I am not hating on people who traded this tape wrong. However, I am calling out all of the dicksuckers who were so smug and giving me shit as the market knifed lower.

A great man once said “The Fly wins all the time, especially when he appears he is losing badly.” I believe such a line is preserved for days like today. Perhaps you should remember it for future reference.

Into the bell, I am not selling anything.

I am up over 4.5% right now, led by insane gains in DECK, WNR, VHC and GSVC. All of you small children who went into today short stock, thinking there was nothing THE GRAND EXALTED BEARDED CLAM could do, are now subject to bowling pins bouncing off your dog-brained head. Ben is throwing them shits at you, whilst puffing on his blunt, saying “I told you bitches I was gonna get you.”

“The Fly”, once again, reigns supreme over you goat fuckers, pushing ALL-TIME HIGHS, now up almost 15% year to date, off by only 1% from annual highs. I’ve been taught no lessons because I already knew the outcome. It’s winship on an industrial scale here, folks. Clearly, I’m not fucking around and I’m definitely not taking prisoners.

The PPT flagged OVERBOUGHT on 8/24, ask my members. Intra-day, it flagged OVERSOLD, with a score of 2.45, signaling a buy with both hands and cock. This is what some call SHOMP. I call it a sublime harmony of mathematical precision. None of you clowns are doing it like me and you know it.

In closing, “The Fly” is talking shit on a grande scale because he can.