Gobble, Gobble, Motherfuckers

I went long NXPI position. That will be my sole tech play. I am playing this bounce very simple and will not confuse things with unnecessary positions. There is little to no chance of surprise negative news this week, on a micro and marco level. It is a waste of time and transaction cost to broadly diversify in a market that is trading as a convoy. Therefore, I am sticking with 4, maybe 5, names for now.

VHC, EXK, SWHC and NXPI.

I might add to that list later on today or tomorrow.

My intention is to reduce cash from 45% to about 20%, then get back to cash by Friday. It’s a gamblers paradise out there and I’m destined to get mine.

The market is bouncing off the fucking walls here. Any semblance of good news is likely to fuck up shorts something awful this week. All of the problems still persists, but it’s the week of grandiose gluttony this week. For the love of Fed calls and negative equity balances, quit shitting in your showers. Get out there and kill something!

There is no way to know what sort of effect the Turkey Gods will have on equity prices. But they’re here and ready to kick the stuffing out unsuspecting speculators.

I’ve been gambling on the caprices of the Turkey Gods for over a thousand years and they’ve never disappointed, purely from a entertainment standpoint. By the end of the week, a large subset of investors will be reduced to ashes and tears.

I’ve managed to keep a 45% cash position intact, throughout this dreadful and calamitous decline. At the same time, I’ve been exercising my rights by using the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) on the cavemen in the Gaza strip. As you know, they are without iron dome. My disposition is, as always, to outstrip everyone else.

My favorite plays for a reflex rally is silver, via EXK and semis via IPGP, NXPI and maybe some CRUS. I’ve been tempted to buy YELP, but the volume is too thin for me. Homebuilders bounced hard and should trend up with the market. But let’s keep it simple. Everything is down, so when we reverse, everything will go up. We will bathe in 80% upside days and hand out golden coins to poor disheveled boys in the sewers, asking them to “fetch me the newspaper, chap.”

Got to love this pitched fork shit.

and MOAR secession

We’re down 6% since October. I would not be surprised to see the market fall some more, before November is done. But even during the very worst markets, December has served as a respite, an elixir for the malnourished, through outsized gains and superficial, careless risk assessment. No one gives a shit in December because Santa Claus packs a street cannon and everyone is drunk as shit.

Trading desks are manned by small boys, amateurs who are afraid to do anything that might upset older, stronger, men.

Here are the returns for the month of December, since 1993.

74% of the time, we trade higher. I see no reason why this trend can’t continue. Granted, the fiscal cliff offers absurd uncertainty, a truly homemade crisis being thrusted upon us by drug addled, sex crazed, perverts. The pain is halfway done, members from the internet. Close your eyes and WAKE UP in December, for joy and splendour awaits you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLddJ1WceHQ

VHC is now 30% of my assets. I am emphatic in my belief that it will see significantly higher prices. My track record on big positions is pretty good, with past winners in WNR, EXK, YELP, FTK and MVIS under my belt. I could be wrong on the name– but I seriously doubt it.

It’s very frustrating to hold big positions when they’re not working. It’s important to go in knowing the risks and try to keep ahead of the proletariat. By the time VHC inks its first licensing deal, short sellers will be dismantled by gravity hammers. The time to buy is when blood is in the streets, especially in stocks that you believe in.

Today’s market bounce is young, but impressive. Breadth is improving and key sectors are on the rise. Here is a real time look at today’s industry leaders.

I’m not counting my chickens. I did buy more shares of EXK and SWHC yesterday, so that’s helping, as their shares lift. But this move is child’s play and it’s a Friday afternoon, a time when trickery occurs–setting up for the long weekend ahead. My best guess, and according to the mathematical precision that has been provided by some, the market will be higher by mid next week.

I intend to keep my 45% cash position intact for the day and buy more early next week. Whether that be into a decline or a pop is completely irrelevant. I will build 3 gargantuan positions in SWHC, VHC and EXK, then swashbuckle my way the fuck out of them–just in time for the post Black Friday catastrophe to come.

I added to my VHC position.

We have children running this country. Like them or not, I think we can all agree the only adults in power are at the Federal Reserve. Can you imagine if the Fed was a place where fucktarded Senators were appointed, instead of being an independent body?

The best we can hope for now is the Fiscal Cliff being kicked down the road, so that our grandchildren can pay for it. That’s the type of game I’m into. Let future generations deal with this shit. I’m too busy buying and selling stocks like a cocaine gorilla than to worry about deficits and insolvency.

LET THEM EAT CAKE, but not the good kind!

Any rumors of can-kicking will result in an immediate 3% spike in stocks. This doesn’t have to be complicated. Avoid all biotechs and buy stocks that closely correlate to the S&P 500. The industry that does best during reversals is silver. After the initial phase of the rally, swap out of precious metals for tech or heavily shorted commodity stocks. Rinse and repeat. That is the best way to play upside reversals. I’ve been doing this shit for like 1,000 years and I have an IQ that is at least, at a minimum, 50 points higher than yours.

When markets go down, everyone who’s been bearish for the past 4 years will remind you how smart they are, like a blue moon, becoming relevant only on rare occasions. You’re not stupid. This is a real hard tape. If you first started to invest over the past year, you’ve been initiated with one fucked up market after the next. These “miscreants”, as I like to call them, will offer you #timestamps and chant mantras, like “Wall Street 2.0”; but they’re no different than anyone else who has tried their hand at finance, for the last 200 years.

The game is always the same, only the starring actors change.

Today the market is run by HFT’s and multi-billion dollar hedge funds, who all buy the same shit. There is a specific group of liquid large cap stocks that are favored by the managing elite. We like to call them “hedge fund hotels.” When stocks like AAPL, ORCL, PCLN and CMG get damaged, it inflicts carnage upon a wide range of funds. When the pressure gets too severe, as is the case with AAPL, capitulation happens and prices exaggerate to the downside.

Over the past 4 years it has been wise to buy carnage. Do so incrementally and hold your breath. This time might be different, due to “the fiscal cliff” and Obama going “full commy” on our dumbasses. But odds are, as much as I hate stocks right now, Benjamin Bernanke will save the day.

I imagine Ben lamped up in a dimly lit drawing room, smoking a blunt filled with marijuana, hysterically laughing to himself, saying “these bitches think it’s over. I’m gonna get them real good this time” (puff, puff, poof).

We’re going off the cliff, in grandiose fashion, and you will not like it.

The GOP will NEVER negotiate with Obama and Obama thinks he can do whatever he wants, since he was elected and all. As a result, you’re all going to suffer from heinous losses.

We’re not oversold yet, despite the perpetually lower equity prices. All of my screens and ideas are useless today, as we convoy the fuck lower. Thesis trades are for nothing, replaced by the pain of a margin call knife to the gut.

I’m not selling my 3 position portfolio because I don’t quit. With my cash, I will average down in everything, hope for the best, then sell the rips. The decline in gold/silver stocks has nothing to do with deflation. We are in liquidation mode, as hedge fund hotels get blown the fuck out. Impaired balance sheets should be avoided–because if liquidity dries up, they’ll go bankrupt.

We haven’t had a 50% breadth day since election day. This is what a bear market feels like and it will last much longer than you could ever imagine, if the degenerates in DC purposefully toss us over the cliff.

You fucking faggots are starting to piss me off, giving me shit about my stocks that are tanking. Are my positions special in their fucktarded ways going lower? Or, just an idea here, IS THE FUCKING MARKET IN LIQUIDATION MODE?

I’ve warned you for over a week that the market was due to go lower. I told you ‘we’re going off the fucking cliff, raise cash!”, yet you chose to leverage up and eat beefed jerkies.

There are degrees of severity as we drown lower. Some stocks are getting hemlocked, like SWHC, EXK and VHC, others are slowly marching to their deaths. Does it matter? Whenever the market decided to sniff some Federal Reserve cocaine again, the biggest losers will be the biggest winners.

I am half cash, half armageddon. I’ve been getting stripped for 2% per day, even with half cash. For the love of roaming wolf packs in search for human meat, make it stop stock Gods, make it stop.

I will sacrifice 10 goats, 5 chickens and 1 human for a little respite, so that I can enjoy “Government Appreciation Day” next week, like the rest of America.